Workplace Sayings

Nurses General Nursing

Published

We have a saying where I work that goes "There's a right way, and then there's the _______ ________ Medical Center's way!".

When a coworker complains of the way something is done, then makes and appropriate suggestion, I reply with, "Stop making sense!"

Rooty Payne, my work brother in arms, has a couple:

"It's only (8 or 12) hours."

"I don't run the train, I only shovel the coal."

Got any?

TMBD became one of our favorite "behind closed doors" hospice diagnoses. It was a sign you needed to dig deep to find the Dx leading to the 6 month prognosis.

It came from something our exasperated medical director said at an IDG meeting: "Too many birthdays is not a legitimate hospice diagnosis!"

We had a 105-year-old gentleman, functioning just fine at home, kept being referred to home health for chronic disease management by his GP, despite not actually having any chronic diseases. And no, aging is not a chronic disease for the purpose of securing home health services. The man had ZERO nursing needs and would visibly sigh when he saw us at his door yet again!

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Specializes in ICU, LTACH, Internal Medicine.

"Pt reported 1 PPD smoking? Double it. 2 drinks a day? Double it. 50 Year old man w/o prior hospital admission reported 1 day N/V/D? More like 1 week." This was what led me early to the understanding that Pt reporting needs to be given a generous helping of salt when taking history.

Inner city ER where every second H&P was started the following way, almost word to word:

" I was just goin' down the street minding my own business and there came those two dudes..."

the aforementioned two dudes therefore proceeded with inflicting some sort of great bodily harm on poor fellow, such as beating him with baseball bat, shooting him from a gun, etc., and meanwhile stealing a kilo of coke which somehow was in his pants' pocket. But there were always two of them, and they always seemed to disappear into thin air before police came.

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They (management) treat us like mushrooms, they keep us in the dark and feed us ****.

FLK, funny looking kid, when something just ain't right with a little one.

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Specializes in Pediatric Intensive Care.

"I just work here"...is common in my workplace.

A coworker of mine, known clever jokester, would say the ECMO slogan should be, "this may hurt a bit".

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Yep. Lots of rules of 3 where I work.

Alcoholic beverages? Multiply times 3

Partners a male has been with? Divide by 3

Partners a female has been with? Multiply by 3

YES!!!

I have always wondered about studies that have said that the average male has X number of sexual partners in heterosexual encounters during a lifetime and the average female has only a fraction of that number. If we are talking about the same population one would think that number would be about the same. The men are lying to display their sexual prowess and the women are lying to defend their virtue I guess

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Spankedisms from the ER:

"Frequent Flier" or a patient I usually see more often in the ER than the woman I'm dating

"Positive Suitcase Sign" is when the frequent flier brings all his worldly possessions to the ER in anticipation of an admission. This is especially troubling when they are a behavioral health admission and we have to do a search and inventory of often filthy belongings.

"That's why they call it work" or "that's why we get paid every two weeks" is usually in response to nurse complaints about work

"I don't care and it's nobodies business" my stock response to nurses gossiping about other nurses private lives

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Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
It's time to fight infection and save lives.

When my medical nurse Belinda and I use to ride to work together and it was time to leave, I would often say...

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Spanked in Pittsburgh, sometimes it's the positive paper bag sign.

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Specializes in Psych, HIV/AIDS.

NOMSYD = Not on my shift you don't

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so true Sevensonnets!!! So true!!!

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Specializes in Psych, Peds, Education, Infection Control.

"No, ma'am," or "no, sir"...said in the most laid-back tone one can muster. I accidentally started that one on our adolescent psych unit. As in, when a patient is about to do something mischievous that is not dangerous...just a calm, "Yeah, don't do that." I always practiced the art of under-reacting (outwardly) to the kids when I was on the floor, because they were primed for HUGE reactions from adults - and, frankly, giving them the exact opposite often confused them.

Other favorites around here:

"Not today, Satan."

"Don't go around telling government business."

"We're working on it."

"That sounds too much like right."

"Apple, tree" (when the parent of one of our peds patients is part of the problem)

"WNL - We Never Looked"

Also, we recently enacted a ban on all kinds of nuts for allergy safety, and as we're freestanding psych, there has been an endless parade of "nut-free facility" jokes.

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Specializes in Psych, Peds, Education, Infection Control.
"The first pulse to take in a code is your own," from House of God.

"There is no body cavity that cannot be violated with a good, strong arm and a 14 gauge needle. But there are many that ought not to be." (The aorta, left ventrical and caratid arteries spring to mind.)

I always use that first quote when doing Code Blue trainings!

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