Workplace Sayings

[Davey Do]

We have a saying where I work that goes "There's a right way, and then there's the _______ ________ Medical Center's way!".

When a coworker complains of the way something is done, then makes and appropriate suggestion, I reply with, "Stop making sense!"

Rooty Payne, my work brother in arms, has a couple:

"It's only (8 or 12) hours."

"I don't run the train, I only shovel the coal."

Got any?

[Davey Do]

Yep. Lots of rules of 3 where I work.

Alcoholic beverages? Multiply times 3

Partners a male has been with? Divide by 3

Partners a female has been with? Multiply by 3

Length of time a patient wanting to be admitted to psych hasn't eaten in?

Always: "3 days!"

[Davey Do]

Overhead at the bedside of an impending emergency: "Oh no. Here comes Dr. Don't Just Do Something Stand There."

I was orienting in surgery at St. Anomaly's Hospital when a urologist was performing some sort of procedure on a fella's scrotum, while I observed, scrubbed in.

The urologist and I had attended high school together, recognized each other while scrubbing, and this was the first time we had seen each other in nearly 20 years.

He ran into some problem during the surgery, turned to me while I was on the other side of the first scrub, and yelled, "Dave, don't just stand there! Do so something!"

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That's all I could "do".

[Davey Do]

"That's the way we've always done it"

On the other side of things, tnbutterfly, administration at WRMC (Wrongway Regional Medical Center) will change policy and procedures without notification and/or education.

Case in point: The method in which physician orders at WRMC are input changed dramatically without warning or training in the new procedure. Now, the new system is much easier and efficient to work with, but still- administration could have let us know the process was changing and maybe given us some notes.

In the old system, you had to go to the specific department and try to find the test by someone's idea of its name.

For example, if you wanted to order a lactic acid level, you'd go to lab, and try putting in "lactic acid" which would avail you nothing. No, you had to put in "whole blood lactic acid level" before it would accept the order.

With the new system, you merely click on the icon, put a few letters in, and an array of choices pop up. You can scroll down and find the specific needed order. Viola!

You'd think administration would cease this opportunity to tout their new improved system by sending out a notice:

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It seems that this new easier way was done for the physician's benefit, but WRMC physicians still want to do it "the way we've always done it" and have staff input orders.

It seems WRMC administration continues to enable docs who won't get off the pot.

[Davey Do]

On the other side of things, tnbutterfly, administration at WRMC (Wrongway Regional Medical Center) will change policy and procedures without notification and/or education.

I neglected to mention what I say whenever administration does this:

"Administration can do whatever they want whenever they want!"

[marienm, RN, CCRN]

I work in a burn ICU that also takes other ICU & step-down (mostly surgery/trauma) patients. Some patients come in after doing something...ill-advised. You know, stuff everyone does all the time!

"Mr. Jones was cooking meth over a propane burner...like ya do...and it blew up. He has 40% TBSA burns to..."

"Ms. Jones did a leeetle bit of cocaine and had an ETOH of 0.41 when she tried to drive home...like ya do...she's in cervical traction for a C1 C2 fracture until..."

[Katillac, RN]

TMBD became one of our favorite "behind closed doors" hospice diagnoses. It was a sign you needed to dig deep to find the Dx leading to the 6 month prognosis.

It came from something our exasperated medical director said at an IDG meeting: "Too many birthdays is not a legitimate hospice diagnosis!"

[Davey Do]

Some patients come in after doing something...ill-advised. You know, stuff everyone does all the time!

Yeah... yeah!

Like the two guys who attempted liposuction in their garage using a vacuum cleaner:

1999 Darwin Award: Liposuction Tragedy

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[Davey Do]

something our exasperated medical director said at an IDG meeting: "Too many birthdays is not a legitimate hospice diagnosis!"

Yeah. A psychiatrist I worked with years ago told an intake coordinator, "You can't admit someone for just being weird!"

[bjwojcik]

In pharmacy it was, "Don't roll your own pills."

[cardiacfreak, ADN]

It's time to fight infection and save lives.

[cardiacfreak, ADN]

You can't treat stupid, but you can sedate it.

[TAKOO01, BSN]

One of my favorites in the psych clinic:

"Masticate Nitrogenous waste and go Asystole!"

In the ED:

"Clearly this patient suffers from Hypodilaudism!"

I don't like these - I LOVE these