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I am a nursing student, currently studying to be an RN. I am really enjoying the experience, however I have an issue that is concerning me.
When chatting up women and the conversation comes up about what I do, and I reply studying nursing, their eyes widen and the mood seems to change. This is not related to women in the field but those outside. As soon as I utter the word nurse, I seem to go from a confident manly guy to a nice guy to them. I know women want confident manly sort of men, but women also say they like a man to be sensitive and caring. Can’t a male nurse be sensitive and manly? Do these women see nurses as somewhat effeminate, at worst gay?
If a woman is able to climb the corporate ladder and make big money in business and still have sex appeal, does a man need to limit himself to traditional masculine roles to prove his maleness and be attractive to women or can he do a traditionally feminine job of helping and caring for people.
I understood that when women refer to equality, it is for both men and women. They it’s a great idea for men to be nurses, but individually, their actions seem to speak louder than their words.
I would be very interested in your opinions on this both guys and girls
I just wanted to impart my experiences through nursing school and in my current career. I have been subject to the "a male nurse?, oh that's cute" routine, which I tend to just walk away from as those people (whether male or female) are generally too ignorant and shallow for me to continue dealing with. Many women have told me that they find men in scrubs sexy, though I am never sure what they are actually seeing when they look at me. I work in a Level III NICU, a specialty where there are very few men. I have felt more bias from my co-workers than from parents and non-healthcare professionals. There have been some women who have made attempts at making me feel unwelcome in a traditionally "feminine" role of caring for newborn babies. There are others who find something very attractive about a man caring for a 1lb preemie. The best part about being a nurse is that I get to interact with a large amount of very intelligent women, which to me is the sexiest thing.
A friend of mine who is expecting her second child is very pleased and excited her husband is going to nursing school. Attitudes are changing. I think nursing is evolving out of the female ghetto into a mainstream job and will eventually have a more equal gender ratio.
If men get some flac for being nurses they should remember that women going into traditional male jobs not to long ago had to fight every inch of the way to get the job and be accepted. Women still face significant discrimination in the sciences and business while male nurses get promoted faster than female. So guys, quit whining and enjoy the rewards of being a nurse.
- Men have so few friends
In comparison to what, women? Do you want us to be like you or something? You could add us to your girly friends list when we do!
Great post, but where did this one come from? I've never heard this objection, in fact quite the contrary. It's usually men who typically have more friends.
I always thought it was a running joke that women often dump all of their friends when they get in a relationship.
Less manly?Let me show them the Peri/Rectal/Scrotal abcess that one of my male patients had I&D'd yesterday, and we will see who is "Less Manly"! It would have the most manly man runnin for the hills! Only a Super Man can become a nurse!
Can you say OUCH!
Dan
I agree, my dad well he thinks a pressure washer is the way he would clean patients. My guy friends, none of them are in nursing.
I am a nursing student, currently studying to be an RN. I am really enjoying the experience, however I have an issue that is concerning me.When chatting up women and the conversation comes up about what I do, and I reply studying nursing, their eyes widen and the mood seems to change. This is not related to women in the field but those outside. As soon as I utter the word nurse, I seem to go from a confident manly guy to a nice guy to them. I know women want confident manly sort of men, but women also say they like a man to be sensitive and caring. Can't a male nurse be sensitive and manly? Do these women see nurses as somewhat effeminate, at worst gay?
If a woman is able to climb the corporate ladder and make big money in business and still have sex appeal, does a man need to limit himself to traditional masculine roles to prove his maleness and be attractive to women or can he do a traditionally feminine job of helping and caring for people.
I understood that when women refer to equality, it is for both men and women. They it's a great idea for men to be nurses, but individually, their actions seem to speak louder than their words.
I would be very interested in your opinions on this both guys and girls
For years, I tried to hammer a square peg into a round hole by falling for the feminist brainwashing that "you need to get in touch with your emotions" etc.
Has it ever occurred to women that a man is indifferent because he actually feels indifferent? Maybe he has no need or desire to talk about emotions and the reason why nice guys do is because they base all their self worth on how women perceive them. Unfortunately the missing piece of the puzzle is that nice guys only take into account what women actually state, not their actions.
Now the other problem is swinging over to the other end of the spectrum and replacing the lost piece of the puzzle with trying to ACT tough, aloof and indifferent. This will not work in the long term and will only continue the negativity because the root of the problem has not been dealt with. Acting like a bad boy is still supplicating to women in a different but equally disempowering sense as is trying to be a nice guy.
The solution is simple, we men must pull back the power we give to women and focus on ourselves, for ourselves, not women. We need to find out how we really "feel" when we no longer value ourselves based on how successful we are in attracting women.
THIS IS THE TOUGH BIT
We must let go of everything we have built our identity on regarding attracting women and find out once and for all who we really are, how we really want to live our lives, based on our own values.
Could it be that when we really give up disempowering ourselves that we no longer have "feelings" of depression, anxiety, low self worth etc? Could this be the end of seeking a substitute for the masculinity that was always within us? Could this be the path to becoming a strong confident and well-adjusted man?
Heres the dichotomy, will a man do what's best for himself, taking the risk that women may overtly show disapproval or will he continue to sell himself out by supplicating to women?
Men who try to be a nice guy or a bad boy or whatever may just be reacting to their insecurity. There are many negative consequences to these actions: supplicating to women by spending vast amounts of time, money and self respect to win a few crumbs of affection is prostituting ourselves as much as risking a criminal record, our neck, and self respect, trying to impress women.
The energy could be put into doing the things we want in our lives and could it possibly be, that maybe, just maybe, women, deep down, want to love and respect a man in his own right, with a strong sense of who he is, what his moral code is, what his boundaries are, and could it be that this is the very essence of what a woman ultimately wants when she says she wants a "real man".
However, it is men who must define what a "real man" is, not women and this is the very reason why he exists and why she responds to him
Bravo, man. Well said. I think your point is that "nice guy" and "bad boy" are too limiting and simplistic ways to look at being a man. "Real men" act like the unique individuals they are, continually growing and adapting to circumstances and women as they see fit.
And if a certain woman doesn't appreciate the value of such a genuine man, tough.
I'm sensitive or insensitive to a woman because that's what I choose to be at the time, not because I read it in a self-help book.
I really wish the world would start to see nursing as a unisex profession.Now, I'm married, but if I were single and met a nurse that happened to be a man - I'd be interested. You know right off that this guy is going to be smart, educated, caring, and compassionate. Plus, you know that he will always have a job and will have a flexible schedule. What's not to love? I just don't get women sometimes, and I AM one!!!
Just keep your chin up, and be proud of who you are.
question--where are all the women like you in philadelphia?? most women either don't care that i'm a nurse (i profession i am VERY proud of), or think i'm gay....even though i constantly talk about football and women.
i really don't get women sometimes.
question--where are all the women like you in philadelphia?? most women either don't care that i'm a nurse (i profession i am VERY proud of), or think i'm gay....even though i constantly talk about football and women.i really don't get women sometimes.
Because many (not all) only pay lip-service to the notion that they don't care about your profession's public image. But when they can put proof to pudding, all things being equal, they'd rather date a non-nurse.
It's an uncontrollable subconcious thing. Men are no different concerning their perceptions of the profession.
Just curious....I met my wife in college and we are both nurses. One of my favorite things about our relationship is that we can talk/vent about our days at work and we always can find understanding in each others success and disappointments. She understands me like no one else. Do you think that because we both are in the same profession makes all the difference?
johny1
32 Posts
- men are too threatened by a successful woman
men are all too aware that women judge men on their occupation, assets and are interested in men of equal or higher status than them, not lower. seems to me that men are being realistic, not intimidated. however these successful women may consider that the higher up the ladder they go, the less men of same or higher status there are. conversely, men of high status (by women's standards) have the largest choice of women available. their only asset he is interested in: feminine beauty
- men's ego is their most fragile instrument
women's egos are just as fragile. when men put women up on a pedestal their egos inflate like a hot air balloon. however if men are indifferent and make humorous fun of women, they keep coming back for more.
- men are so frightened of our rejection that they can't be men
actually, they are men just protecting themselves; they're just not taking advantage of being indifferent and making humorous fun of you.
- i can't change a man - without getting him ready for the next woman
you have no right to change a man, as he has none to change you. if a man allows you to change him, you will not respect him because you can control him. if you cannot change a man, well....maybe you were attracted to his strong sense of individualism in the first place???????
oh, and do you think that the next woman wants your wussie "changed man" after you have chewed him and spat him out???????
- men want to cohabitate with us but don't want to marry us
men don't want to make the ultimate commitment to you. maybe they are not sure you are marriage material. maybe there is something you could do to change that. maybe it is not our problem....but yours.
- when i take the initiative men back off
could be many reasons why, but is probably just a bit of what men routinely face in the dating game....rejection.
- men won't listen
men do listen, they do not listen and respond in the way your girlfriends do. we are not women, we are men. if you get a chance to observe two or more men interacting with each other, you might learn something.
- men can't get in touch with their feelings
men are very in touch with their feelings. in fact men do not have to express their feelings all the time to others to validate them. when observing men interacting, you will notice when a man expresses his "feelings" to another, the respondent will reply with a solution to the problem, that's what negative feelings are to a man, a problem to be solved.
women... well i'm a man and i'm not supposed to understand their complexities but heres a guess: feelings are drama and entertainment, like a soap opera, they are analyzed and expound upon until another dramatic feeling comes along.
unfortunately if a man expresses his feelings to a woman too much, he will be accused of being a wuss, damned if ya do, damned if ya don't, eh.
- 50% of men already in relationships cheat
and what percentages of women cheat? are there a small group of extremely promiscuous women out there tempting these men or are you women going to take some of the responsibility for this problem?
- after he says "your special" i never see him again
what, was this before or after you'd had sex? actions speak louder than words. women have a version of this to let men know they are not interested in going further: "lets just be friends"
- men have so few friends
in comparison to what, women? do you want us to be like you or something? you could add us to your girly friends list when we do!
- "girly" magazines are so big with men
cleo, cosmo, romance novels, soap operas etc get your juices going too! do i have to say it again....do you want us to be like you or something?
- men can't ask for help
....wheres that dependant wuss boyfriend of yours when you need him to fix the car....
men like a challenge and will try to do it on their own, before getting help if they need to. stop trying to negate a positive masculine trait that you occasionally find annoying, when mostly....you love it, eh.
....he's asking the sexy, masculine neighbor for help.
- men spend too much time watching sports even when they say they want more time with their families
what is "time with their families" anyway? what women want to do? what is too much sports? 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 hour, 30 minutes a day, or the big game on saturday? how about women watch to much soap operas, dr phil, oprah, spend too much time on the phone gossiping etc etc etc.
maybe watching sports with their sons could be "time with family?
maybe men work more hours than women and so have less "time with family" as long as he doesn't annoy you when you are gossiping to your friends on the phone, you could stop nagging him when he is watching sports.
- men can't let a friendship develop and then if sex happens, it happens
because men know if a woman classifies him as a friend, it'll never happen!.........and i'm a male explaining female behaviour to a female haha!
- when i'm with a man i see his open and vulnerable parts. and then when he gets around other men, he closes them off.
that is because you have accepted him as a masculine man and for your relationship to develop he shows his softer side to you. unless he is gay, he has no need to show this to other men. what advantage could he possibly get from showing his vulnerable side to other men? from other men is how he shaped his masculinity, of which you were attracted to first place. if he showed his vulnerability to everyone and their dog, he would not be valued as a man, not even by you....men do on occasion, show their vulnerable side to select men they trust, but is only to fix a problem and find a solution, otherwise there is no reason to do so. this is something that you are not privy to because it is male territory and frankly, as a woman is not your concern.
- men are so preoccupied with their jobs even when they're losing contact with their family
men are the providers and don't bother with feminist doctrine about equality. if a man does not have an income or assets, he is not valued by society. they are so preoccupied with their jobs because of their family!!!!!!!!!!!!
- men are like little boys underneath
we all have an "inner child" eh?
- men contempt for women on one hand (witness their jokes) and put them on a pedestal on the other hand
some men put women on a pedestal and others have a healthy humorous indifference about women. nice guy or seducer, which one gets your juices flowing?
- men are "just desserts" but i'm willing to give up so much for a little banana split
so what did you have for your main course? maybe you just prefer shopping to men? is it your self-respect that you are so willing to give up? you must make very silly choices when it comes to men. however if you do not want to take responsibility for your choice in men, repeat ten times: men are all bastards!
- men rape
yes and we are all capable of it, though few take advantage of it.
however women can and do, with no evidence, accuse men of rape, their careers, reputation gone and their personal life in tatters, even before the false allegation gets to court.
- men are just interested in conquest - that's the real excitement for men
is this not how we came to live in the standard we now live in? men like a challenge and men built buildings, infrastructure, government, sciences, inventions etc etc etc. is this a criticism or are you giving us a compliment!
- men always feel they have to promise love even when they're not in love
do you require they say they love you before you will sleep with them?
all men want to ****; some men will say they love you in the hope of getting a ****, even when they don't. honest men will tell you they want to ****.
- women earn only 59% of what a men earns even when their contribution is "indispensable"
***, more feminist doctrine. when women have children, they either don't work or work less than men in paid employment. women also choose to work in occupations that don't pay as well. this is why women earn less than men, because men are supporting them. think about this, a man and a woman in a job interview with the same experience and qualifications as each other, the man will cost the employer 41 percent more to employ....no employer would ever hire a man!
- men have power and they don't want to give it up
more feminist propaganda. a small minority of men has the power; most men have no option but to shovel the **** to feed their families.
- men can't admit it when they're wrong
and some women have this stubborn habit too.
- i'm an attractive woman. i have lots of options. yet so many men i end up with are insensitive.
so, the more attractive a woman is, the more she requires sensitivity in men? i thought they left the wussies for the ugly girls with no options...
- my father criticized me too often
my mother criticized me too often. i think she saw things in a different way because she was female and i was male....maybe you could have a think about that.
- men are so paranoid about homosexuality
are you attracted to homosexual (and i'm not referring to your fantasy of being so sexy that you manage to seduce a gay man straight) effeminate men?
- i'd like to be able to get lovey-dovey without it necessarily leading to intercourse, but that's too much to ask from a man
i'd like to have intercourse with a woman without it leading to getting lovey-dovey, but that's too much to ask from a woman.
- when i meet a man i often think he's wonderful--i tell all my women friends and i'm elated; then he disappoints me once, then twice. before i know it i think he's a jerk. yet i'm still tempted to stay with him.
well, if he had disappointed you by not disappointing you, he would have been such a "nice guy" that you would have just wanted to "be friends".
- male leaders get into too many wars (it would be different if a women led)
"in response to the invasion, the british government under prime minister margaret thatcher declares a war zone for 200 miles (320 km) around the falklands, assembles a naval task force with which to retake the islands, and launches long range air attacks from the mid-atlantic ascension island on the airfield in port stanley to disrupt the flow of supplies to the argentine forces.
from start to finish, this strange undeclared war lasted 72 days, claimed about 1000 casualties, and had a cost of at least 2 billion dollars. from a political point of view, it secured the reelection of margaret thatcher". source:http://www.ability.org.uk/falklands-war.html
- men who aren't macho are often.. well....wimps
if we are aloof and indifferent, you complain we aren't open enough. if we get all open and touchy feely, you complain we are acting like wimps.
as women try to compete with men, men should poke fun at them. when women realize they can never compete, men will throw women a bit of sensitivity....when they've earned it.
as for wussies or wimps, they just need to unlearn all the feminazi propaganda that has deeply infiltrated western society.
- men are afraid of commitment
men are less likely to commit if women continue to give away what men want willy-nilly. we thought you preferred wild anonymous sex too! if they do commit they are afraid that the woman will separate, taking the kids, assets, and a percentage of his income until the kids are adults....now what are the advantages of commitment for a man then, eh?
- if i could wish anything from my relationship with a man, it would be to have more honesty
what, you want him to be more honest than you are with him?
- there are no men who are sensitive and strong--who are not already taken up
i think maybe you have climbed far too high up corporate ladder. remember women "marry up" and men "marry down"
there are many men who are far stronger than their bank balances but you are not interested in them, eh?
- men and women are so against each other
its good you're taking some responsibility.
- men can't see the forest for their ego's
women can't see the forest for their sense of entitlement. women have a sense of entitlement because they think they are a special gender. women think they are a special gender because their egos have become much too inflated, eh.