I had a whole different post in mind today, but then realized it needs to wait until next week. Oops!
So what does that leave me today? Very little!
What nursing related thing have I learned? I learn nothing when I'm not nursing. Well, this week, anyway. I have had some evolution as a person, and a patient. But nursing? Nada.
As a patient approaching 6 weeks post op from spinal fusion, I have learned...
...that the torso I see from the side in the mirror doesn't look like mine. My lordosis is gone.
...I am thankful to have cut my med list down so much.
...being really skinny means my hardware presses against my skin and incision site when I bend. I really hoped this would stop by now.
...I never knew how much I relied on pain to be the friend who cautioned me to hold back. I've felt anxiety over losing the pain.
...^^^^ that??? It's crazy.
...I CAN SLEEP ON MY BELLY!!!!!!!!
...I'm EXTREMELY bad at unknown. My post op appt this week will show whether I am fusing at all yet. I just want to know.
...the hardest lesson is this mountain of defeat I'm feeling after such a big few months. I'm seeing pics of graduation, celebrations of employment, and worthy bragging moments on my facebook historical posts. I felt like life was hard then, I celebrated something hopefully becoming easier. It didn't though.
I've lost my muchness, guys. Lots of it.
Bonus:
...it comforts me to know my LEO hubs and his coworkers have devised an apocalypse plan. I also just realized being nurses makes us all valuable (like, save the nurse, kill that guy instead, valuable).
So what have you learned? (And please, if you can, bring it back to nursey since I couldn't! (Sorry, mods!) We need to stay yellow.)
One, who is usually charge when she's there, was working with me. I was charge - probably because I'd been charge the past three shifts in a row, and the team lead figured it would be easier for someone who already knew the patients to be charge instead of someone who hadn't worked in five days, if I had to hazard a guess. This nurse got three kinds of up in my face about how I must be "enjoying" the title (why would anyone enjoy it?) and made snide remarks all night. I already didn't like her, now I really don't like her. We don't even get a differential for being charge, so it's not like I was taking an opportunity for her to make more money away from her.
Do people honestly enjoy being on the receiving end of these kinds of attitude problems? Is there something I'm missing here; is being charge actually desirable? We don't have free charges - our charges have a full patient load, and have to listen to everyone else whine all night for free - so I don't get what her deal is.
I'm really starting to think about leaving. Or telling management the only way I'm going to stay is if they don't give me preceptees and they don't have me do charge. I'm tired of dealing with everyone else's attitudes.
I am so much more tolerant of other older folks starting down the road of dementia than I am of my mother. She has always been rather narcissistic and it is getting worse with age and the beginnings of the trip down an ugly road. It makes me sad that I cannot separate 55 years of her giving with the right hand and then pulling back with the left. I see friends who, a year after their mom's death, are still grieving deeply. I don't see me in the same spot a year later. That makes me sad.
Cystic Fibrosis sucks.
I understand this more than I wish I did. With my mother's borderline personality disorder, everything always has been, and always will be, about her. And while I realize that it's not her fault, the frustration has more often than not gotten the best of me over my life and I just can't as you said separate it out. I think it really hit home just how bad it was when I had my last knee surgery 10 or so years ago and I ended up getting a staph infection and yada yada and it was awful and she comes in and plops down on the couch and does this deep sigh like the weight of the world is on her shoulders and says, "My knee has been bothering me...maybe I should go see your surgeon." I'm normally not a violent person, but if I could have stood up, I may have beaten her with my crutches.
Long story short, Nutmegge, I know where you're coming from.
I understand this more than I wish I did. With my mother's borderline personality disorder, everything always has been, and always will be, about her. And while I realize that it's not her fault, the frustration has more often than not gotten the best of me over my life and I just can't as you said separate it out. I think it really hit home just how bad it was when I had my last knee surgery 10 or so years ago and I ended up getting a staph infection and yada yada and it was awful and she comes in and plops down on the couch and does this deep sigh like the weight of the world is on her shoulders and says, "My knee has been bothering me...maybe I should go see your surgeon." I'm normally not a violent person, but if I could have stood up, I may have beaten her with my crutches.
Long story short, Nutmegge, I know where you're coming from.
Our mothers must have been cut from the same mold. I also always knew that my mother thought the world revolved exclusively around her, but we finally cut ties when she started in on our 10-year-old daughter (her only grandchild) after my dad died. That was the straw that broke the proverbial camel's back. We haven't spoken in over 2 years, and I am totally fine with not dealing with her self-absorbed ridiculousness. (((Hugs)))) to you both
Our mothers must have been cut from the same mold. I also always knew that my mother thought the world revolved exclusively around her, but we finally cut ties when she started in on our 10-year-old daughter (her only grandchild) after my dad died. That was the straw that broke the proverbial camel's back. We haven't spoken in over 2 years, and I am totally fine with not dealing with her self-absorbed ridiculousness. (((Hugs)))) to you both
Ugh. That's one of the things that has kept me from having kids, the be honest. The only thing keeping her in my life at this point is my dad. How he has managed to cater to her ridiculousness for this long is beyond me. (((Hugs))) to you
I've learned that tonsil stones are disgustingly awesome, and I love calling the parents and telling them their little darlings have these disgusting things in their throats. They freak. :)
I was so excited when I found out there was a name for those things! They sure do smell terrible. Don't ask...
Nursing related WILTW: We're in a 4 day Kaplan live review so please correct me if any of the following is incorrect.
D5W is an isotonic solution until it's infused. It then becomes a hypotonic solution when the dextrose is metabolized.
You can have a thyroid storm post thyroidectomy.
Signs of hypothyroidism include brittle hair and decreased menstruation, along with fatigue, cold intolerance and muscle weakness. (I'm now convinced my thyroid is not functioning properly)
There are parietal lymph nodes, located in front of your ear, on your jaw. These can swell for some unknown reason, with no noticable infection. It can be painful.
I find it distressing that the instructor for this review can not pronounce most of the generic drugs names, told us that lorazepam is a cardiac med and then 30 minutes later said it was hormone replacement. Makes me wonder what other incorrect info/rationals are slipping by me.
I learned that I may have made a mistake in thinking that I didn't need to apply for a temp license and that my background check wouldn't take the full 8 weeks.
On the non-nursey side of things, ever so briefly. I am learning how to hunt. By default I have learned that black flies are horrid and that if you amass enough black fly bites, you can look like you have chicken pox. Also, allergies are a major PITA right now.
Back to doing practice questions and content review for this girl. I plan to make the best use of my time while waiting for my ATT number to come in.
WIL[later]TW: according to the worker's comp adjuster, the doc only orders an FCE if they're worried you're not physically capable of doing your job. What I'll learn next week: Whether it's worse to fail and be branded disabled, or manage to pass and get told that means you're not really injured.
So... I just learned that the opportunity I previously thought I didn't get has come through after all -- a new position opened up and I am going to the PICU.
It is where I always saw myself when I became a nurse after years of working with chronically ill kids on the "outside".
I love cardiac and feel that I am good at it. But, even though I had very good reasons for pursuing adult care vs. pediatrics, I feel that I am ready to return.
And now... I'm scared poopless! So excited, but pushing out of my comfort zone is going to be an adventure. I had worked out this whole plan B in my head that I would continue to work cvicu and eventually get my acute care NP and continue to work with VAD and transplant patients, which I love.
But my heart and my mission in nursing has always had to do with pediatric critical care. I'm truly excited... And truly in shock that this is happening now!
Ixchel, you're teaching me a lot of nursing in this post. I'm learning what 6 weeks post op spinal fusion looks like. Thank you.
Thank YOU! I think we learn the most through experience, and the experiences of others do count!
Ixchel - I am sorry you are somewhat struggling after surgery. I think that when a person had chronic pain, there is a lot attached to it, emotionally and physically. Also, if you had been on chronic pain medication before surgery and are able to reduce now you may perhaps feel a touch of withdrawal at times creating anxiety...not that I am saying that is what is going on but it is something that I have seen in patients.
However, I wish you a speedy recovery and that things will straighten out and healing will continue on all levels.
Your instincts on the meds are accurate. I stopped all opiates a few weeks ago, and have just braved the storm since. Thank you for your well wishes!
Ixchel, I have been thinking about you, and I'm glad you're doing well. I am especially glad you can sleep on your belly - that's the best feeling! I love sleeping on my belly.
THREE CHEERS HOORAY FOR THE BELLY SLEEP!!!! And thank you for your thoughts!
ixchel, I'm sorry you're having a rough time. I don't know your story, but I wouldn't wish spinal surgery on anyone. I suggest we have a potlock. Everyone throw in a pound for ixchel to help pad the hardware.
My story - at some point in early childhood, I managed to get bilateral pars fractures at L5. Over time, this resulted in spondylolisthesis. I've gone through conservative, medical management thus far. I have had no nerve involvement until recent years, and evidence of that could be seen in a demyelinated nerve root on a routine MRI 3-4 years ago. Then in November, going back for routine imaging, the disc at L5 was almost gone. I decided the time has come, as all surgical risk factors are presently in my favor at my age, and knowing I've turned the corner where the nerve involvement isn't easily ignored anymore.
As for the pot luck....
Can I throw in more than one? I have quite a bit to spare....
If you're throwing in more than one I will too - I have about ten I could afford to lose right now!
I have some padding to offer! I also make excellent authentic Italian food (if I do say so myself). Perhaps some carb loading?
I was just breezing in to say that. I learned a lot this week but I will have to type it up later when I don't have to get in to the shower for my 9th shift in a row. [emoji99]
Wish I could say I signed myself up for that voluntarily.
I will happily pledge 10 lbs to ixchel's padding fund.
And sign me upfor a solid 15 pounds for Ixchel!! Happy to contribute to your padding, lol
I will gladly take some pounds of padding and potlucks! My surgeon assured me that the feeling of bruising where the screws are digging in will subside once scarring develops on them, but in the meantime, being this skinny is actually a downfall in this instance. I lean forward, and the screws push back against my incision site. IT IS NOT AWESOME! lol
Still waiting on my husband to get into training for his job. I don't know why on earth it's taking so damn long! They said there are a lot of people ahead of him so he just has to wait for an email. Ugh. He's gonna apply for any kind of job he can get until he gets into training.
On another also depressing note, I found out a friend has cancer & has been in the hospital for 3 weeks. [emoji17] That's all the information I have. I don't know why she's been in the hospital for so long or what type of cancer she has. Hopefully I will get to visit her soon.
I'm sorry for your friend, and hope for her recovery. [emoji173]ï¸
I've learned that Valerian tea and Melatonin packs a punch with me. I went to sleep super early last night...and stayed asleep.
calivianya, BSN, RN
2,418 Posts
I again learned I work with some real witches.
One, who is usually charge when she's there, was working with me. I was charge - probably because I'd been charge the past three shifts in a row, and the team lead figured it would be easier for someone who already knew the patients to be charge instead of someone who hadn't worked in five days, if I had to hazard a guess. This nurse got three kinds of up in my face about how I must be "enjoying" the title (why would anyone enjoy it?) and made snide remarks all night. I already didn't like her, now I really don't like her. We don't even get a differential for being charge, so it's not like I was taking an opportunity for her to make more money away from her.
Do people honestly enjoy being on the receiving end of these kinds of attitude problems? Is there something I'm missing here; is being charge actually desirable? We don't have free charges - our charges have a full patient load, and have to listen to everyone else whine all night for free - so I don't get what her deal is.
I'm really starting to think about leaving. Or telling management the only way I'm going to stay is if they don't give me preceptees and they don't have me do charge. I'm tired of dealing with everyone else's attitudes.