I am requesting opinions on my current situation..I have been taking nursing pre-reqs for the past year and a half, and am waiting to find out if I've been accepted into an lvn program at my local cc for the fall. I intended to bridge to RN in a year or two after my daughter graduates high school. My husband told me he would support us (we have a sixteen yr old daughter also) while I was in the program. He decided three weeks ago to leave our marriage instead, and said he would make our house payment as child support. This leaves me responsible for utilities, groceries, gas, etc.
In the meantime a position has opened up at a local state facility paying 30K a year for a managment position, I am qualified for, and I have an interview scheduled.
I do not have any nursing experience, but know that I could be good at it. I have always enjoyed making a difference and helping others. My question is would it be worth it to take out a 10k loan per year, and work weekends to make ends meet while in nursing school, or should I take the solid employement if it's offered? Will it be worth it to make my daughter and I sacrifice for the next year while I become an lvn?
"Will it be worth it?" is a question only you can answer for yourself based on your values and priorities.
That said, state jobs in these parts tend to have much better total compensation than do private-sector jobs and finding nursing work as a new grad can be very challenging.
Personally, I'd be reluctant to turn down a good-paying government job in favor of the uncertainties associated with entering the nursing trade.
I actually have only one daughter. I haven't seeked legal council at this point. He has agreed to help us as much as he can. I won't get into a legal battle unless he doesn't hold up his end of things. I think as long as we can all make it, the simpler the better is best for my daughter. I have always worked, and will continue to for the rest of my life no doubt, just in the area of business.
Get an appointment with a lawyer at once to find out what you are legally entitled to in a divorce: this does not mean that you have to have an adversarial position with your husband, it would be more of an informational session.
Your husband may turn out to be a fairly good guy who will uphold his obligations or even go above and beyond legal requirements. OR--he may say one thing and do another and just leave you hanging.
He may not be ABLE to make house payments in lieu of child support depending on your state's requirements--he may have to send a check to your state's Family Services or whatever it is called in your area and they may then record it and forward it to you.
Please do not blindly trust. Do not just let him decide what he will and will not do, at least not without knowing the legal ramifications.
I couldn't agree with this post more . . . I've seen the situation too many times. Best of luck to you.
Get an appointment with a lawyer at once to find out what you are legally entitled to in a divorce: this does not mean that you have to have an adversarial position with your husband, it would be more of an informational session.
Your husband may turn out to be a fairly good guy who will uphold his obligations or even go above and beyond legal requirements. OR--he may say one thing and do another and just leave you hanging.
He may not be ABLE to make house payments in lieu of child support depending on your state's requirements--he may have to send a check to your state's Family Services or whatever it is called in your area and they may then record it and forward it to you.
Please do not blindly trust. Do not just let him decide what he will and will not do, at least not without knowing the legal ramifications.
Specializes in Mental Health, Medical Research, Periop.
I agree with the posters here. I just would like to add that I would focus on eliminating as many stessors as possible (in regards to your personal life) before starting a nursing program. Many people underestimate how stressful, and time consuming nursing school is. I wish you much luck!!!
i actually have only one daughter. i haven't seeked legal council at this point. he has agreed to help us as much as he can. i won't get into a legal battle unless he doesn't hold up his end of things. i think as long as we can all make it, the simpler the better is best for my daughter. i have always worked, and will continue to for the rest of my life no doubt, just in the area of business.
thank you everyone for all the advice.:)
after the fact, you may not be able to do anything if he doesn't hold up his end of things. without legal representation, you really risk your ability to hold him to anything. if not for yourself, do this for your child's future. she is counting on you to protect her interests, and quite frankly, trying to avoid conflict might seem to be in her best interest right now, but in the long run could really be to her detriment.
you are getting lots of advice to seek legal counsel because this is absolutely the wise and prudent thing to do when you are dissolving a partnership as important as a marriage between two people with property and a child.
Depending on what school you plan to attend, you definately could at least give a bit of financial aid. Being a single mother and separated, you are likely to receive some help as far as tuition goes. When you fill out the fafsa, they ask you if you are married, single, or separated/divorced. So there is no need to wait to apply until you get divorced. YOU CAN DO IT! I say take the job, if offered, skip over the LVN program and go straight for ADN. Not many of the hospitals around me are even considering LVN's anymore. I think everyone should just go for the GOLD! Good Luck!
By the way, it definately can be done. There are several single mothers in my program right and many who have graduated with several children. My best friend is a single mother with little help from dad and has done just fine. Another, who is a single Mother, who has 5 children and a full time job just graduated in December. It will be tough, no doubt, but it certainly is doable!
Wow!!! This thread has quickly turned into an advertising ad for family lawyers. I believe all you want to know is "Will it be worth it to make your daughter and yourself sacrifice for the next year while you become an LVN?" IMHO, without committing unauthorized practice of law (UPL), I feel that you know what's the best course of action for your family, as far as the legal situation goes--you've already said simple and quick is best for your daughter. I would stick with your intuitions on that. In regards to school and the tremendous sacrifice it will take both financially and emotionally as well as physically the both of you, I say go for it. There are so many programs out there for single mothers to go back to school that will pay for tuition and books, and all you have to do is apply for them.
Your daughter is 16yrs old (close to becoming ayoung lady herself), so one year of not giving her your total undivided attention will not kil her. Sometimes the best things in life come at a cost and your willingness to sacrifice.
In the end you know what's best, and if not, then I suggest you pray on it.
Specializes in ED, Neuro, Management, Clinical Educator.
If this is something you genuinely want, you will forever regret not doing it. You need to do what makes you happy. You should pursue it. People succeed against the odds every day. You may have a difficult few years ahead, but it will be worth it if you end up achieving career satisfaction for the rest of your life.
netglow, ASN, RN
4,412 Posts
Very seriously THIS!