Will my scars from cutting be a problem?

[S.F Skylar]

Hi,

When I was 14, and through to age 17, I would cut my arm every now and then because that was the only "coping mechanism" that worked for me (or knew of) at the time. Of course, I've stopped since then and I know how to deal with it.

The scars were never extremely deep; they're a little pale in comparison to my already-really-pale skin. They're really easy to notice, since they're on the back of my arm, but most people take awhile to notice. Still, nursing uniforms are always short-sleeved, CNA or not (right?).

I don't actually care about the scars, but people tend to think I am still cutting even though the scars are really old, or they just get weird about it. I was thinking of covering the scars with tattoos, but I feel like that wouldn't help me much, either, because of the reputation of tattoos. Or would it be okay depending on the tattoo? Such as using pretty flowers and grass instead of a ferocious dragon. If not, what can I do?

If there's nothing, that's okay. I chose to cut and I knew there was the possibility of the scars presenting a problem in the future. I just want to know if, in this case, they will present a problem. I'd greatly appreciate any suggestions and advice on what to do.

[Catzilla]

I would think that for the interview,

cover up (long sleeves are more appropriate in an interview anyway IMO).

Starting a new job, perhaps long sleeves in the beginning (first impressions and all) or not.

As for "making up a lie" say what feels right to you! Childhood accident? Not technically a lie!

Hurt when you were younger? Not a lie! Got hurt, long story. Not a lie!

You do NOT owe anyone an explanation beyond what you are comfortable disclosing. Ever.

[imintrouble, BSN, RN]

I have a very large scar on my wrist from a childhood accident. Being a nurse, if I saw it on someone else, I'd wonder if it was self inflicted. Never once has a co-worker ever asked me where it came from. Give your colleagues some credit. We are for the most part, a nonjudgmental group.

[Meriwhen, ASN, BSN, MSN, RN]

I have a very large scar on my wrist from a childhood accident. Being a nurse, if I saw it on someone else, I'd wonder if it was self inflicted. Never once has a co-worker ever asked me where it came from. Give your colleagues some credit. We are for the most part, a nonjudgmental group.

Agreed. Whatever we may choose to wonder, we're not going to pass judgment on it unless you decide to make a big production out of it.

[Jules A, MSN]

Agreed. Whatever we may choose to wonder, we're not going to pass judgment on it unless you decide to make a big production out of it.

I'm not so sure. Although this thread has been surprisingly supportive which I think is excellent and I love that so many seem to have gotten past this behavior I wonder if some of the blanket encouragement isn't less than realistic. Again maybe it is because I'm in psych but any time I see someone with scars that appear to be self harm, usually meaning multiples, my radar is way on for cluster B traits. Not that I would be so rude as to ask someone and hopefully I don't prematurely stigmatize them but just saying a cutting history for me is a huge red flag for personality traits.

My advice stands that I'd avoid wearing them like a badge of honor as some seem to suggest because while it totally is one's personal business it becomes open for public consumption when visible, imo.

[dirtyhippiegirl, BSN, RN]

My advice stands that I'd avoid wearing them like a badge of honor as some seem to suggest because while it totally is one's personal business it becomes open for public consumption when visible, imo.

At some point as an ex-self harmer, you need to move on. There is certainly a difference between wearing your scars "like a badge of honor" (I don't see how this is done without being overt about it?) and being free from shame and, on a pratical note, physically comfortable in your work environment.

Pragmatically -- yes, I am going to wear long sleeves in situations where I need to impress someone. So. To a job interview. And for those first few weeks of work when you're trying to fit in and make a good impression. But as someone who worked on a burn unit...long sleeves, even those thin long sleeved shirts, just were not a viable day-to-day option if I wanted to not be sweaty and uncomfortable for an entire shift. And when I started wearing short sleeves to work, my charge nurse DID outright ask me if I used to cut. I said yes. She asked me for advice about what to do with her daughter who was now cutting herself.

Honestly, I'd rather someone just ASK me but everyone has their own comfort zone. I decided years ago that I did not need to sweat through the summers or never experience the joy of swimming etc. etc. for shame of how others would perceive me.

[Jules A, MSN]

Honestly, I'd rather someone just ASK me but everyone has their own comfort zone. I decided years ago that I did not need to sweat through the summers or never experience the joy of swimming etc. etc. for shame of how others would perceive me.

I hear ya and while I believe that in a professional environment personal things are better kept personal I understand that others might disagree. A similar topic I have encountered is staff disclosing a substance abuse history. I personally do not feel it is appropriate in a professional setting and have seen it come back to bite a coworker in the butt however it is clearly another topic without a sure right or wrong approach and of course everyone has the ability to do what they feel is best for them. :)

[NICUmiiki, DNP, NP]

Every school I know (except for one, they wear jackets) allows for a long sleeve t-shirt under the uniform. My school allows long sleeves t-shirts and we have a uniform scrub jacket.

[Tenebrae, BSN, RN]

....

My advice stands that I'd avoid wearing them like a badge of honor as some seem to suggest because while it totally is one's personal business it becomes open for public consumption when visible, imo.

Speaking as a former self harmer, I certainly dont wear them as 'a badge of honour"

I'm done being ashamed of that part of my life however. I've moved on. Wearing long sleeves is not practical for me, I end up hot and sweaty and gross.

Not one person thats asked me has ever been negative

[Gooselady, BSN, RN]

Your scars are NO ONE'S BUSINESS. You don't 'owe' an explanation, and frankly, if I saw a scar on a coworker's arm, I would think it is none of my business to ask! No matter what shape or age it was. I ask my patients about scars, it's my job to be that nosey with them, but that kind of nosiness is just poor social skills among coworkers.

Nope, having this attitude doesn't stop people from crossing interpersonal boundaries, but it supports YOU in your self-respect. I think feeling a bit indignant at someone NOT minding their own business is better than feeling afraid or victimized any day :)

Hospitals ARE freezing cold as a rule, especially when they put on the air conditioning and you are sitting there trying to chart.

And lie. A person nosey enough to ask about a faint scar(s) on your arms doesn't deserve more than a lie

[JWG223]

Wear a long-sleeve shirt for interviews. Otherwise, I wouldn't worry about it. It would legally be discrimination to professionally affect you. Socially---well, you know whether or not it's an issue. You've had the scares for some time, now, and know how people do/don't react.

[summeroflov]

I don't see why it should be anyone's business to ask. Do they ask about other bodily defects? If so, that's quite rude. That said, I've had a few patients ask about my scars (which are more recent than at 17) and I told them that I have cats. Because I do.

[nurse4ever08]

No tattoos. Long sleeve shirts, lab coats, scrub jackets, or just simply say it's private and move on. Most people are too busy working to notice scars.