will I be neglecting my child?

Jilaweez, BSN, MSN, RN · Sep 8, 2006

I felt that way too but now I realize what a great lesson they are learning from me....follow your dreams. You just have to be more aware of the time you do have together and make the best use of it. As long as you find a happy medium your kids will benefit too!! Good luck!!

new_mom2005 · Sep 8, 2006

Thanks so much....

RNsoon! · Sep 9, 2006

Hi, I have not felt that way before ,because I do not have any kids yet!!! But, I have some words of comfort for you.Im pretty sure you have your kids best interests at heart.Im sure this is one of the reasons why you decided to go to school to become a Nurse;because you would like to improve your financial status so that your kids can have a better life and future(don't get me wrong, Im also sure that you have a passion for the feild).Right before you know it, you'll be walking down the stage to get your diploma!! Sometimes you have to make some sacrafices . Hang in there and good luck !!! ( how many times did I say " Im sure." lol)

nursecher · Sep 9, 2006

Don't be so hard on yourself. Kids benefit from time away and so will you. It is nice to miss my kids sometimes. I like it when they are excited to see me. I also treasure our time together so much more. Besides, kids need their Mom but they also need clothes, food, college, activities, ect. and all this cost money. I want to make a decent living to give them a good life. Also, I will be the first in my family to graduate from college, so think of the example that is setting for them. Good Luck and I hope you can let go of your guilt (at least a little of it). I know it is hard.

SummerGarden, BSN, MSN, RN · Sep 9, 2006

Don't be so hard on yourself. Kids benefit from time away and so will you. It is nice to miss my kids sometimes. I like it when they are excited to see me. I also treasure our time together so much more. Besides, kids need their Mom but they also need clothes, food, college, activities, ect. and all this cost money. I want to make a decent living to give them a good life.

:yeahthat:

And parenting via guilt does not pay off in the long run.

new_mom2005 · Sep 9, 2006

I think i will get over this guilt in a littlle while.Thansk you all

emllpn2006 · Sep 9, 2006

You did not say if you are a single mother but if you are just think about this year or so that you are going to be gone from their lives at times as a way of helping them in the future. I dont have any kids but if I did I would rather miss some time with them now and be able to get a degree that you can get a good job with than end up working at a lower paying job and having to miss more of their lives in the future while working overtime trying to make ends meet. Good Luck!!!!

Sally12 · Sep 9, 2006

I just signed up today to take my pre_reg courses that I need to go into nursng school and I can not wait to become a LPN. I want to work in the L&D floor.. But Now i dont know if i made the right choice now casue now I am thinking if I go to school now I will be neglecting my two boys.( they are both preschool age). Have you ever felt that way before going to school and if so how did you handle it
Thanks a lot.
KIM

Wait until they are in school, then NEVER WORK EVENINGS.

NurseLatteDNP, MSN, DNP, RN · Sep 9, 2006

And besides everything else, you will be a great example for your children, when they see you archieving your goals. It will show them not to give up in life when it gets tuff, and that they can do anything they want in life, if they work hard for it.

I feel guilty everyday for going to school and studying, while telling my daughter that I can't play with her at that moment. But I know later in life, she will know that I did what I had to do for her.

reese19 · Sep 10, 2006

I know how you feel. I have two young sons (ages 1 and 3), and I just started pre-req's this fall. I attend school at night, so my DH watches them while I'm at school. But I study a lot, which takes time away from my kids. BUT, I'm realizing how much fun my boys are having with my DH when I'm away, and that makes me feel better. I can see that my kids are not "suffering" from my being away at class and studying (I often study at a coffee shop a mile away from our house) --- needless to say, it's hard to study with two toddlers in the house! :) Anyway, as another poster mentioned, I just try to keep in mind that I am doing this FOR my kids ... so that THEY will have a better future ... so that DH and I can afford for them to attend a Christian school, be in activities, go on vacations, and even move into a bigger house (ours is a 2br townhouse that we are totally growing out of, but can't afford to move!). Anyway, just thinking of the things that I can provide for my boys because of nursing -- that's what keeps me motivated! But just know that all moms feel the way you do, to some degree. Try to keep your eye on the end goal, and it will make everything a lot easier in the "guilt department"! :)

Halinja, BSN, RN · Sep 10, 2006

If it was me, I might not start working until they were in school. Those preschool years were priceless to me. But let me tell you, the worry doesn't go away when they're older.

There have been class days when I and another Mom of about the same age have cried in the hall because we were away from our kids. Yet both of our preteen children are doing great, and we will have jobs that will provide for them, we will show them the value of hard work and perseverance, and we will feel better about ourselves for following our dreams. When we love ourselves, its easier for them to love and be proud of us.