Why are preceptors negative towards nurses they are teaching?

I've been a nurse for about 4 years now but this is my first real floor nursing job. I am 4 weeks into precepting on a MedSurg floor and I'm just wondering...

Why is it that preceptors generally tend to be negative towards nurses they are teaching?

My preceptor has tried to throw me to the wolves since day 1. Every time I've asked her for help or tried to explain that I was in over my head she just tells me that I need to feel this stress and doesn't help me at all.

This overall experience has been miserable but I have been trying to be a trooper and stick it out.

I had my first mini review with my manager today that overall went well she said she definitely saw me progressing and said I was doing pretty good. She said she was going to switch my preceptor for my last couple of weeks so that I can learn some different techniques ... and, get a different point of view.

I think that's a great idea even if I thought my preceptor was wonderful it's always good to have more than one perspective.

At the end of a very very long shift after 3 straight days my preceptor tells me that I'm going to work with somebody else next week. She proceeds to tell me that it's because there are certain things that I'm just not picking up from her and that maybe I will be able to pick it up from the other person.

A nice way of saying I wasn't doing well and that it was somehow my fault.

I'm just wondering why is it that nurses tend to eat their young?

Why can't they just be a little bit more patient and understanding that things take time and that I'm not going to be at 100% so early in the game. Why can't they stop for a second and put themselves back in the shoes of being brand-new on a MedSurg floor when it's very busy and there's 10 million things going on and you feel a little overwhelmed??

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

No, I am not a new grad, I however am new to the hospital/medsurg setting. I am not trying to make people mad, and I am not bashing my preceptor, I honestly was looking for feedback as to why so many preceptors are so hard on new employees. I am sorry if my post offended you, and I do not expect a big pity party, I was looking for true feedback.

"So many preceptors are so hard on new employees?" Did you get that from reading AN? Because in my experience, relatively few preceptors are hard on new employees, and when they ARE, it's just as likely that the new employee is the problem rather than the preceptor.

[Farawyn]

Wow, I hadn't thought of that, could be on to something... I mean, if your lucky enough to get time to get near the food in the cafeteria then you have to wait a zillion years for a soggy sandwich... and you don't really get a break because families see you and take the opportunity to ask questions... I should just bring in a snack so everybody isn't starving...

Gurl, if it's NETY, YOU are the snack.

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

I am definitely looking at this situation as a positive, I truly believe that this is a good idea for orientation anyway, getting other peoples views and perspectives is invaluable. Everybody had different techniques and ways of doing things and if you get to learn from several people it gives you the opportunity to see several different ways of doing things and figuring out which one works for you. I have done my best to keep a good relationship with my preceptor throughout this whole process, I may not like her teaching style, but I like her as a person and want to have a good relationship with her, and all my new co-workers.

I am well aware that there are places that will can you if the preceptor and the new don't mesh, and I am very thankful that I am not in a situation like that. I actually was offered 3 different positions and my deciding factor was the manager on this unit, she seemed really friendly, positive, and laid back and we just seemed to click during the interview. My impression of her was spot on, she is a wonderful manager and I am thankful that I chose this position.

I am not necessarily jumping to a conclusion I am being eaten, I honestly just wanted honest feedback as to why this seems to happen in this profession.

Your entire thread is coming across as "MY preceptor is mean to me." The honest feedback is that it doesn't happen is this profession any more than it happens in the general population, and at least I haven't seen any "mean preceptors" cause serious injury or death. Unlike a colleague of my former husband's who was "pranked" by his co-workers causing broken bones.

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

I am sorry if I offended you, I did not mean to generalize to the point that people would take it personally, and I know that not all nurses do this. I am not a new grad, but I am new to the hospital/med-surg floor. I have done other things in my career that were somewhat valuable for my nursing career, but it was not working on the floor. I wanted this job, I love it, I am thankful to finally be here (have been trying forever). I in now way shape or form believe that all nurses do this, I understand your point that it is a generalization that could be perceived as pointing at every nurse who precepts eats their young.... I know that there are a ton of nurses who are wonderful preceptors. This is not my first post on here, I had some deleted because I did not want to compromise my anonymity. I actually posted on here because I wanted true feedback to the phenomenon. I also did not know that it was a buzz word that would cause so much controversy. I do have common sense, so I will in the future try not to generalize you, if you would kindly not generalize me as a new grad with no common sense who had expectations and is troll/sock puppet trying to stir the pot. (Wow, I am going to now have to look up what I have been called because im not sure what a troll/sock puppet is??)

You joined over six months ago. If you've been reading with any regularity and checking the "latest" page, you would KNOW what a hot button you've pushed and what a hornet's nest you've stirred up. I don't know you enough to accuse you of being disingenuous, but really?

[42pines]

I suggest that every nursing student read the book "Odd Girl Out." It can be bought for $0.75 plus a few dollars shipping on half.com or amazon.com.

The book goes a very long way in explaining why females turn into bullies, and just understanding it helps avoid some problems.

Lateral violence or bullying is rife in nursing. I remember reading an article from maybe 2002, the journal was on nursing education. I wish I had kept a copy. But the article followed several groups of newly graduated RNs in Boston hospital fast track programs.

The author reported that after a year a very surprising number had quit. The reason: bullying.

There are a lot of bullies in nursing, and a lot of very good people too. The problem with bullying is, if you are a victim, often others don't see it. Again, this is well explained in Odd Girl Out.

If you buy and read it, PM me and tell me what your opinion is.

[nursy1, BSN, RN]

OP I know it's been said before, but needs repeating. Please, use more paragraphs when posting. I am trying hard to understand what you are posting and follow, but a continuous stream-train-of-thought communication style is pretty much impossible to fully understand.

It's too hard to read what you are writing, in plain terms.

Thanks.

Sorry... I tend to write like I think... long stream on endless thoughts... in the future I will try to use more paragraphs... I really did try on some of my replies, but it seems that I tend to get confusing and ramble anyway....

I will try my best to make my posts more clear in the future. And I will definitely think twice before posting when I am feeling tired, frustrated and upset. I never meant to cause so much controversy.

[nursy1, BSN, RN]

And others mentioned it, but I will agree: Precepting new nurses is very hard. A preceptor is responsible for his or her own workload, and more importantly, the patients' wellbeing, while ensuring the novice nurse has the best possible learning experience.

Preceptors are not always volunteers; many are drafted into it, just by virtue of being experienced and knowledgeable and actually do resent that extra work. That is unfortunate and unfair to both novice and preceptor. A novice would go a long way, understanding the "other side" a bit and really developing an attitude of being helpful, eager to learn and hard-working and careful about expressing negative thoughts about the unit or the nurses in it.

First impressions are huge on both sides. If the preceptor is resentful, and lets it show, the novice is understandably and inevitably put-off and won't like that person. If the novice comes in with an attitude of entitlement and arrogance (and yes this happens), the preceptor automatically feels this signals trouble and it sets a bad tone for him or her. And word spreads quickly that this new nurse is trouble, and not a good fit for the unit. Like it or not, you have to acclimate to the unit culture if you are to get along and continue working there. If it's a toxic unit, you alone won't change it, and it's best in such situations to move on.

A bit of openness and understanding on both sides go a long way. And even if a novice is straight out of school, trying to learn the culture of the unit, he or she IS an adult and responsible, at least in large part, for his or her learning and development.

If a preceptor is unduly harsh or difficult, it's sometimes best to try to get a new one, speaking to the manager or nurse educator. I would choose the words wisely, not being negative, but rather, saying the two of you are not a good fit.

Being positive can only help any novice nurse's cause.

I agree with what you posted 100% and that is what I have done at work. I may have ranted a bit on this post at first, maybe using it as my sounding board. But at work I always try to present myself in the most professional manner possible.

Also, I know that things have been extremely stressful on the floor I work on, they were short handed for months, and then had to precept for months on end, so I really do try my best to understand both sides of the situation. I actually got feedback from my nurse educator stating that when I was expressing my concerns, I kept saying "I know that ____ is really stressed out", and "I understand that she is tired of being a preceptor". She had to remind me that this is my 1 and only opportunity to learn and I need to stop thinking about her situation and think about my own.

I am not patting myself on the back, just pointing out that I do understand that this is a stressful situation from both sides.

Thank you for your feedback, I really do appreciate constructive feedback that will make me think about the entire situation, not just my feelings at the moment of my original post, that is what I was hoping for. It is very much appreciated!!

[CamillusRN, BSN]

I jumped the gun with the NETY think...main point: I RETRACT MY STATEMENT!! SORRY! (not yelling just want everyone to see)

Om nom nom nom. *belch*

That being said, kudos on keeping your cool! Yes, NETY is a very sensitive topic, and an activity that the majority of nurses are doing their best to avoid. It calls into question a nurse's compassion, professionalism, ability to interact with trainees, etc etc. Not something to throw around lightly. Glad to see your retraction!

Best of luck to you as you continue to develop in your career!

[nursy1, BSN, RN]

Your entire thread is coming across as "MY preceptor is mean to me." The honest feedback is that it doesn't happen is this profession any more than it happens in the general population, and at least I haven't seen any "mean preceptors" cause serious injury or death. Unlike a colleague of my former husband's who was "pranked" by his co-workers causing broken bones.

Thank you so much for your valuable input... I am so glad that I have not suffered any broken bones as that is the risk I take every day when I walk out my door. Seriously, that is a horrible situation, but that does not in any way compare to what I posted about. I don't expect anyone to read all of my responses, but I fully acknowledge that I shouldn't have said what I said....

That being said, if I did truly feel like I had the meanest, horrible, nastiest preceptor in the world, I should just be happy that I didn't have my bones broken at work? Whatever happened to your friends husband is absolutely unacceptable. Nobody should ever be put in an environment where they are in physical harm of serious injury or death.... So while I understand that people were offended by my use of the saying, are you stating that I should just be thankful that I came home physically unharmed?? Come on, the situations don't even compare... I understand that the saying NETY is offensive (which I didn't earlier, apologies again).... But I don't think that anybody ever thought that she was physically taking bites out of my flesh at work... OK, I overreacted on my original post, but for crying out loud, you have me at a loss... so what is your actual message here... If I feel like people are mean to me, be thankful they didn't physically assault me??

As I have said about 25 times today, she has NEVER been mean to me.. She has always been kind, just a little too rushed, which increased my anxiety... I do realize that I jumped the gun on posting this with the title I used, don't worry, what I fully understand is that many people have zero tolerance for ignorance..... and yes, I was ignorant in the title of my post. I 100% did not know that that term was considered such an offensive term.... and then I learned, from feedback how truly offensive it is to our profession as a whole... but hey, that's okay, everything is a learning experience. We learn something new every day.

Added note: I just noticed your quote on ignorance and arrogance.. well I guess I called myself out on ignorance, it was not a choice, the choice I am making is to acknowledge my lack of knowledge, and I am choosing not to be arrogant and am trying to be humble and learn from this experience... Not at all the experience on my floor, but my experience in posting my honest thoughts at a moment of being upset, stressed out, overwhelmed and downright exhausted, choosing poor words for my title, and then venting on here... I will think twice before titling a thread again... But ya know what I don't regret my rant, because I have gotten some great feedback & advice on here... Was it a poor choice of words, yes.... but overall I will learn from it, and that is always worth the price of making some people mad... (unintentionally)

[nursy1, BSN, RN]

Om nom nom nom. *belch*

That being said, kudos on keeping your cool! Yes, NETY is a very sensitive topic, and an activity that the majority of nurses are doing their best to avoid. It calls into question a nurse's compassion, professionalism, ability to interact with trainees, etc etc. Not something to throw around lightly. Glad to see your retraction!

Best of luck to you as you continue to develop in your career!

Thank you... I truly had NO IDEA I would cause such a stir... I thought maybe I would get maybe a post or 2 from someone who has been a preceptor and from someone who has been the newby on the floor... Well, learning experience for sure... at least I didn't make this mistake in person in public or something ridiculous... I am already embarrassed & upset enough... Oh well, learning?!? Such a crazy situation, there is way more drama on this post than there has ever been at work... Not much I can do at this point but again apologize to those I offended... I didn't know the stigma that went along with the term... understand how it has stigma when pointed out to me, but wasn't thinking about it from that point of view at the time of my post... I guess you just learn something new every day...

Seriously, I want to email one of my instructors from what feels like forever ago and give them an earful for not warning my class to never ever say this. For crying out loud, they were so strict they made us wear the same color ponytail holders as our hair color... (not as easy as it sounds)... you would think they would say "Hey, by the way, DONT EVER SAY THIS"... But lesson learned.

[nursy1, BSN, RN]

You joined over six months ago. If you've been reading with any regularity and checking the "latest" page, you would KNOW what a hot button you've pushed and what a hornet's nest you've stirred up. I don't know you enough to accuse you of being disingenuous, but really?

Promise, I didn't know... Yes I have been a member, actually I thought I was a member for longer than that. I have utilized this site since 2010, but only by doing searches for information I was looking for. I do not have the time to keep up with the site & read regular posts & hot spots... why would I just decide randomly to post something that is going to make half of my fellow profession mad at me? If you think I am being disingenuous there is probably not much I can do to change your mind...

What I am doing now is really feeling like a piece of crap, thanks!! Peer support, TEAM NURSES!! if you couldn't tell from my earlier posts, im pretty sensitive, I do everything in my power not to show it, but it shows anyway so if you did not understand that from my 10,000 other posts today, I really did feel horrible for using a term that would upset people....

I can take people being mad at me for using that term.... I acknowledge that I was really overreacting after a long hard week, and the situation wasn't even that bad, I just put up a post of my thoughts... Afterall, that is what I thought the site was for?? I guess I misunderstood... What really has pushed me over the edge with this is your comment that I am not being honest... Why on earth would I not be genuine?

Truly, It really bugs me that I am letting you get to me, but what exactly is it that you think I am not being genuine about.. Do you think that I posted this just to get attention? I'm pretty creative and this is a pretty boring story if I wanted to make something up for attention? I'm sure if I gave it about 3 seconds thought I could make up some ridiculous drama that would get a ton of responses. I honestly don't understand what angle you are coming from?

So my preceptor said something that I perceived at the moment as hurtful, I got my feelings hurt, and then I got in my car, opened my phone got on a website which has always seemed to be a great resource for information & advice, and then lied and told a pretty boring story about my experience precepting?? Or, do you believe I used the term on purpose for attention?? Which one am I not being genuine about? If I wanted to use an obviously offensive term I can think of many more, as I said earlier, because of the feedback from others I understand how this term is offensive... But I am just sitting here at a complete loss, so how am I disingenuous?

I have been called/accused a lot of things in my life, and many of them I will own, but disingenuous is not me... period... especially on a website when people don't know me.. I am not the attention seeker, I wanted advice/feedback and to get my feelings off my chest without causing friction at work... If I wanted to cause a bunch of ruckus I would just post something obnoxious on Facebook... I was looking to my peers for feedback, which you gave... thank your for taking the time twice today to give me your thoughts...

I will try to learn from this as well. I need to understand that when I put my thoughts/questions out there, be prepared for any response... I got crap all day for this, and I felt horrible for how I offended my community. also knew that I was really just overreacting & overtired on my original post. But I learned that when you put yourself out there, be prepared that some people are going to read waaaay more into what you are saying & overreact to your response, as in they may tell you to consider yourself lucky to have not actually physically been harmed or eaten by anyone that day... or had your bones broken by your co-worker.

I think that I am going to bring my new preceptor breakfast on my first day next week, you never know how hungry she is.

[nursy1, BSN, RN]

Thanks for taking everything here in, retracting your NETY thing (multiple times), and really reflecting on the source of your stress.

I had a PATIENT the other day make comments to the charge nurse that I was "judging" her. When the charge nurse talked to me, she said the patient could not come up with anything specific that I said that was judgmental, but the patient did say that I took my job too seriously, didn't joke around, and wouldn't answer questions about my family. SERIOUSLY, those were the patient's words! The patient went on to say that she felt I was judging her on her length of stay, her resistance to ambulation, etc. (My teaching to her involved self-care, ambulation, getting back to baseline, and the risk of infection the longer someone stays in the hospital.) In other words, she was projecting her anxiety on to me and interpreting my behavior in the exact same way that she felt about herself.

As a new grad, I did the exact same thing as you did earlier on in this thread. I "grew up" in an environment of very experienced nurses that kept pushing and pushing and pushing. I would come home and complain how they just didn't understand, they were pushing me too hard, how I didn't get the support I needed. I started appreciating it when I went to a new job a little over a year later (left my old job due to scheduling, not the environment), and I had a week of orientation before they let me loose with, "You're good. No need for more orientation." That pushing I received helped me advance faster.

I'm not saying that you don't need another preceptor; what I am saying is that nursing in a new environment/specialty requires being challenged to develop in the new position. In my current position, I see way too many new grads being precepted by 1-yearish staff nurses, and when I follow the NGs, I see their gaps in knowledge, assessment, and priorities. They were praised, hand-holded, and not corrected often enough. One of the new-ish preceptors came up to ask me how her NG (now off orientation) was doing when I followed the him for three days straight. I could see in her eyes the concern and lack of confidence in the NG, which she obviously didn't address while the NG was being precepted. Scary.

That is scary, I think in some ways that is what worries me, I worried at times my preceptor was not watching behind me enough (possibly she has and I am not aware of it). She seemed too focused on the tasks (I mean computer tasks, not real things I need to do for pt) and getting my charting done quickly enough vs. my actual pt. care.

She literally sent me into the room with the pt. alone on day 2 to insert a foley & day 3 to start 2 IVs, (which I was okay with). Then the 2 days ago, she lectured me in front of half the staff (and our mgr.) because I did not come to her first and ask her to escort me into the room to prime the IV tubing for NS (which she was well aware I was going into the room to do)? It is a lot of mixed messages.

And I am not trying to complain about her just pointing out the mixed messages which just leaves me more confused as to how am truly supposed to proceed? When I ask you to come you say No, If I don't ask you to come, I was supposed to ask you. I honestly pretty much gave up asking for her to come along during the first week because its mentally easier to just go do it vs. asking preceptor to come in with you for a little guidance (which I only ask for on things I truly need the guidance on) and repeatedly being told No, you go in and do it alone, if you need me hit the call light. If you are directing me to take the reigns, against my will on day 2-3, why are you now, 2 weeks later and many, many situations/pt. scenarios later coming to me about priming IV tubing?? I almost had to beg her to come into the room for my 2nd trach suction. i was terrified, and she didn't come in she sent another new person, 3 weeks off orientation to go with me, and then he didn't turn the suction on... (we were talking through the steps together, and it was 1, 2, 3 Go, and then he said to me after I had the darn tube down the trach, Oh I didn't turn the suction on.... These are the things that scare me. Its just so darn confusing, and that is what I probably should have posted to begin with, "Why all the mixed messages, I don't know how to follow your direction?"

Again, not trying to complain, but very confused at times over the last few weeks, one second it is, you need to go in and to that yourself. even if I say, hey, do you want to just come in and observe in case I need a hand, she usually replies " I will be here at the station, just hit the call button". Now a lot of these tasks I have done before, but its been a minute.. I don't need a cheerleader, I just don't want to harm the patient, and if you never suctioned a trach before (just never had a pt with one, not even in school, did a practice on a mannequin once 4 years ago), then did it one time a week earlier, maybe not so ready to stick a tube down someones airway without knowing that someone is on standby to say "No, that's his ear, not his trach" (kidding/exaggerating).

So I will probably get blasted for "complaining" and wanting my hand held, and for certain things, I do, if it means safety for the patient I want someone near by, not forever, but for time 1 or 2 ever for something risky, I want someone experienced nearby, if they all think im a baby, so be it, my main goal is my patients safety, not what anyone thinks about me.