Why do patients abuse nurses?

HappyPediRN · Sep 17, 2008

Sounds like what you really need is a hug. Big huge hugs to you.

twinmommaRN08 · Sep 17, 2008

I'm sorry to hear about your grandpa and that ugly patient you had to care for today.

I don't have any advice on how to deal with difficult patients because I haven't began working as a nurse yet. All I have to say is, please don't feel bad for crying in front of your orientee, because you are human and entitled to your feelings/emotions. If I saw my preceptor crying during a difficult shift, I wouldn't feel like a total loser and be ready to quit when I have to take a minute to cry because I'm feeling overwhelmed and down.

Plus, when I read the first year in nursing forum and see all the complaints new grads have about their preceptors, I've never seen crying on the list.

I sincerely hope tomorrow will be a better day for you.

lpnflorida · Sep 17, 2008

Some of this so called abuse we get is due to a sense of entitlement some patients have. Some is projected anger. Feeling of loss of control can bring out the worst in people..

Medic/Nurse, BSN, RN · Sep 17, 2008

Hey there TigerGalLE - I KNOW from your posts that you are among the best.

I will answer your question -

THEY do IT because THEY always KNOW there are NO CONSEQUENCES to any BAD or "ILLEGAL" behavior.

We ACCEPT treatment from "PATIENTS" that would land them in JAIL (or worse) IF they were to ACT the way they do ANYWHERE else than in a healthcare setting.

I am all for JAIL.

Maybe THAT would HELP.

Nah - I'd still be PAYING out the WAZOO!

Anyone else have a solution. ALL of mine are less than Legal.

Oh well.

Treat and street and SMILE. :) Our "job" depends on their Press Gainey scores.

My beauty queen days prepared me well. (I CANNOT wear the tiara at work anymore - I am sooo disappointed???)

I hate it.

kmoonshine, RN · Sep 17, 2008

When I have to deal with patients like this, I try to smile...A LOT. I smile so big it is sickly. And the patient is probably thinking "What has that nurse been smoking?!:smokin:"

I had an older lady once who was cussing at me, who wouldn't cooperate, and wanted me to do something that would ultimately cause her harm - and when I explained why I wouldn't do what she wanted, she became very upset and the verbal abuse started all over again. So, I stood up, smiled, and said "You have yourself a FABULOUS day Ms. Smith." As she continued her yelling, I walked out of the room saying "I'll be back when you aren't so busy; enjoy your BEAUTIFUL morning!" It was the only way I could keep myself from screaming or crying.

So, kill 'em with kindness. And a big smile doesn't hurt, too. Its my way of "swearing" right back at them; swearing with a smile, that is!

:hpygrp:

AngelfireRN, MSN, RN, APRN · Sep 17, 2008

I'd like to implement a tourniquet about the neck myself, but that ain't exactly legal.

They KNOW they can get away with it and no one's gonna say boo to them about it no matter what they do. They KNOW that all they have to do is complain and they'll get a goody bag/free gas card/gift card/etc from admin and you'll get your hand smacked. They KNOW that you have to put up with it and that you can not say what you want to to them (I do anyway, it's just a job, and I've already almost died of an ulcer once, at 27).

Had one dinklepuss come in Medical the other day, madder that a mashed cat because he had a new employee. How that was my problem, I'll never know. New employee needed a forktruck physical, which we do not do without an appt. I had made him an appt for two days later, when the hearing girl would be there, so that we could get it all done at one time.

Not good enough for this dude. He walks in, I am in my office, finishing up paperwork on the comp. I ask "Can I help you?"

"Yeah, you can get over here where I can talk to you."

:madface: This does not endear me to him, to put it mildly.

Long story short, my sup agrees to do the physical and we set it up. As Attila the Hun heads out, I say to him, "You know, you'll get a lot further with me if you're a little nicer."

"Well, you set the tone when you didn't get up when I walked in."

(So he's one of THOSE men, beer gut, cigar-chomping, chauvinist)

I looked him dead in the eye and shot back,

"I'm not a dog, sweetie, I don't come just because I'm called. Have a good one." :lol2:

You know, I have not seen him since, and that poor new employee about had a fit. He knew the guy, and said that no one, but NO ONE had ever told him off before.

I called my sup and told her what happened. I had had surgery the day before, and my anaesthesia was still hanging with me. I figured I'd catch heck, but all she said was thank God he did not catch me on a day when I was at full steam.

Sometimes doing what you know is not necessarily right is so satisfying!

NursingAgainstdaOdds · Sep 17, 2008

I truly always assume the best about people, so I will say that most of the abuse stems from stress and anxiety. When people are driving me crazy, especially family members, I think to myself "these people are so anxious", even if what I want to think is "these people are such wackos". Frequently, I think both in quick succession, but it helps me maintain the perspective I need to take care of business.

Other than that, some people are just jerks.

psalm, RN · Sep 17, 2008

Document it; if there is a trend, it is in black and white and may help you or another nurse when the pt. gets physical.

Sometimes all I can do is state to the irate pt. or family member, "I will come back in 10-15 min. to give you time to calm down".

pagandeva2000, LPN · Sep 17, 2008

No advice I can offer under these circumstances are legal...had a similar day myself. :icon_hug: Here is a cyber hug from one nurse to another, though!

kmoonshine, RN · Sep 17, 2008

I truly always assume the best about people, so I will say that most of the abuse stems from stress and anxiety. When people are driving me crazy, especially family members, I think to myself "these people are so anxious", even if what I want to think is "these people are such wackos". Frequently, I think both in quick succession, but it helps me maintain the perspective I need to take care of business.
Other than that, some people are just jerks.

Very true. I also think to myself "they were once someone's baby", which helps me to forgive their shortcomings.

Batman24 · Sep 17, 2008

They do it because they get away with it at many hospitals. It's despicable.

He needs to be put in his place in a professional and polite way. Let him know flat out that slamming the door in your face is unacceptable. as is cursing at you. You are there to help and treat him but won't be abused in doing so. Let him know you understand that being a patient is rough and it's hard being in the hospital but that you want him to get better and him doing his part while help that to happen.