Why do some nurses use their titles as a big ego boost?

Nurses Relations

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Specifically talking in social settings. I understand if you're at work or at a job interview, your title needs to be specified. I have a friend who I've been doing pre-reqs with years back. Our goal was always BSN. We took different paths and now she is an RN and I just finished my LPN. I feel like she rubs it in my face alot with the distinction of LPN. Instead of asking about NCLEX, she'll say, "how was your test for LPN?" "Are you going to continue on to be an LPN?" "Are there any LPN jobs you can find?" She loves that distinction. It's petty, it's catty, it's typical female behavior and I try not to let it get the best out of me but's frustrating sometimes.

I'm sure all of you understand that not every nursing path is the same and is different. Everyone has their own goals and a difference of degree doesn't make you a better nurse. I was included in a conversation of new grads at an ICU (where my mom happens to be one of the older ones that DO take care of the young). One nurse was in her 30's and said, "Why should I get a master's? It's all preference, honestly. In the real world, people can care less about how many degrees you have. At the end of the day, you're a nurse. your co-workers judge you on how you work with everyone else...how you are with your own patients and how you are with your fellow co-workers. No one could care less about a masters"

This is what I go by and this is what drives me. If it's anything I learned in psch of mental health nursing, there's a thing called "defense mechanisms" haha (if you all remember). Sometimes people who compete are compensating for something else.... I'm not going to go there. I think it's cool when people have goals and continue on with education - more power! But it shouldn't be used to boost their own ego...

I think I know the "type" you're talking about. They're overly proud, and they annoy the whole world with their pride. It's not an RN/LVN thing. It's a, "Hey world! Look at meeeee!" thing.

These nurses can't order a cheeseburger without working in some statement about how it effects them as an RN. Maybe it's "brain food" for studying. Maybe they worked in a Burger King while they were waiting to get into RN school. Maybe they read an article about organic lettuce in a nursing journal...

My strategy is to playfully let these people know that I don't take myself so seriously.

"Are there any LPN jobs you can find?"

Why would I want to find a job as an LPN when I could get a job filling vending machines. I looove M&M's.

"Are you going to continue on to be an LPN?"

I'm thinking of completely changing direction. I want to design kites.

After I give the shortest and dumbest answer I can think of, I immediately change the subject. Eventually, they learn to be less boring and single-minded.

:roflmao: :roflmao:

Yes, there's two ways of looking at the subject, and specifically the OP's situation.

On the one hand, maybe the OP is being over sensitive and this is indeed a "sour grapes" thing. If a LPN feels inadequate and jealous, there's a couple options. You can get over it and be happy being a LPN. Or, if you can't do that, well, I guess you better get off your butt and go back to school.

On the other hand, maybe the RN in the OP's post really is one of those who somehow works the "Im a RN and you're not" bit into every conceivable conservation. C'mon, we all know people like this. This isn't called being proud of one's accomplishments, this is called being an oblivious narcissist. Like the neighbor lady who works the fact that her son's a congressman into every conversation she's ever had. Or the green hippie-ish person who manages to bring the conversation back to him and what he's doing to save the planet and how he's a hero and look at me! Look at me! Look at me!

If the OP is dealing with a person like this, of course she has a point.

But we don't really know, cause we weren't there. Such are the limitations of an Internet message board......

I think it could be that you're being sensitive. Who knows really without knowing the entire story, background, tones, etc.

I know that when I first started working (at 16) I worked in a fast food place which I stayed at for several years off and on. I became really good friends with some of the people I worked with. At one point, I practically lived with my friend/co-worker who was a single mom and I helped her look after her kids. I was fairly young, pregnant myself, and she was a great friend and support. I'm still grateful to this day for her.

As time went on and as I gained more education, we drifted apart. Some of it was due to the fact that I was busy with school, had another job, and had my own family. Some of it was due to the fact that she started returning my calls less and acting strange when I visited. Finally, she said it...in a "joking" manner of course....that I was "too good" now. I'm the one that kept reaching out, but I think because of her own insecurities our friendship changed. Her mother passed away and I went to visit her and went to the services, but we really aren't friends like we were before. Most of my friends/acquaintances now do happen to be people who I went to college with or worked with post graduation. It wasn't on purpose, but I just got tired of feeling like I had to defend myself or avoid talking about certain subjects because it might make someone jealous. It happens at work sometimes too. I can be talking about how expensive my kid's sports equipment is and a tech will say something like, "I don't even want to hear it," or I mentioned that my kids got laptops for Christmas (which I didn't even buy, and they're pretty cheap now anyway) and get a comment like, "It must be nice."

It gets exhausting having to worry about if what you're going to say is going to offend someone else or not. That's my theory on why people of similar "status" tend to associate with each other. I'm NOT saying that RN is greater status than LPN either, but there are obvious tensions between people with different education levels, incomes, etc., and I don't think that tension is always the fault of person with the higher education, income, etc.

Specializes in Oncology; medical specialty website.
I have to say, and not being mean at all, that the people that always seem to have the biggest issue is the people with the lesser degree.

There is a massive difference between an LPN and an RN and the LPN's in my RN program said that they didn't understand how big the difference was until they were about 1/2 way through the RN program...now they see.

I am in graduate school and I don't think my BSN makes me a better nurse at all. I see no reason for anyone who doesn't want to get into management or leave the bedside, to get a BSN. If I didn't aspire to do more, I can assure you, I wouldn't have bothered.

However, when people ask me what I do, I say, "I'm an RN"...because there IS a distinction between what I do versus an LPN. I never say that I have a BSN. However, I worked with an LPN that never seemed to want to tell anyone she was an LPN. She always tells everyone she is a "nurse" and while true, there is a huge assumption that she is an RN because she works in a critical care unit, and trust me...she knows it.

Needless to say, she is a difficult person to work with on top of it.

If she's an LPN she is a nurse and is entitled to use the title. When people ask me what I do I say I'm a nurse. Most of the time, that's all that is necessary.

Specializes in Oncology; medical specialty website.
I think it could be that you're being sensitive. Who knows really without knowing the entire story, background, tones, etc.

I know that when I first started working (at 16) I worked in a fast food place which I stayed at for several years off and on. I became really good friends with some of the people I worked with. At one point, I practically lived with my friend/co-worker who was a single mom and I helped her look after her kids. I was fairly young, pregnant myself, and she was a great friend and support. I'm still grateful to this day for her.

As time went on and as I gained more education, we drifted apart. Some of it was due to the fact that I was busy with school, had another job, and had my own family. Some of it was due to the fact that she started returning my calls less and acting strange when I visited. Finally, she said it...in a "joking" manner of course....that I was "too good" now. I'm the one that kept reaching out, but I think because of her own insecurities our friendship changed. Her mother passed away and I went to visit her and went to the services, but we really aren't friends like we were before. Most of my friends/acquaintances now do happen to be people who I went to college with or worked with post graduation. It wasn't on purpose, but I just got tired of feeling like I had to defend myself or avoid talking about certain subjects because it might make someone jealous. It happens at work sometimes too. I can be talking about how expensive my kid's sports equipment is and a tech will say something like, "I don't even want to hear it," or I mentioned that my kids got laptops for Christmas (which I didn't even buy, and they're pretty cheap now anyway) and get a comment like, "It must be nice."

It gets exhausting having to worry about if what you're going to say is going to offend someone else or not. That's my theory on why people of similar "status" tend to associate with each other. I'm NOT saying that RN is greater status than LPN either, but there are obvious tensions between people with different education levels, incomes, etc., and I don't think that tension is always the fault of person with the higher education, income, etc.

I can understand this. One of my closest friends didn't go to school after high school. Most of the time we get along fine, but sometimes out of nowhere she will snap and say how it isn't fair that I make so much money (I've never discussed $$$ with her and live modestly) when she has worked hard all her life and can't get ahead. I don't know what to do about it except let her vent and get it off her chest.

Specializes in Pediatrics.

I call myself a nurse. Not an RN, not a registered nurse, not an RN, MS. Personally, when I hear someone call themselves a nurse,I assume they are an RN. LPNs are not as common in my area, there are few LPNs in the hospitals. The ones that do work in my clinical affiliation wear a different color (thus, making a distinction).

I am hoping to begin my PhD studies in the fall. Will I call myself "Doctor"? Not all the time, and I don't expect my friends and family to call me that. I'm sure half of my students will still call my professor (as they often to with my colleagues who have doctoral degrees). But, I will be very proud to have earned that distinction, and will add it to my email signature, Facebook, twitter, and business cards. None of my friends (people who I met through nursing, outside of teaching) have a doctorate. Few have a masters degree. I barely even think about it. to me they are my friends and fellow nurses. If they think I am rubbing it in, too bad for them. As a firmed, they should be proud of me. What if I didn't have kids (and wanted them so badly) and I got offended by all the stick-figure families that people proudly display on their mini-vans? What if I didn't own a home, and they all did, would I not go visit them? We are all different, and our successes are measured in different ways (and it's all subjective).

Someone will always have something that you want (that is, IF you want it). This is what breeds healthy competition,as well as motivation for people to succeed. I may get blasted for this, but I cannot imagine that any LPN would not want to become an RN. While it may not be feasible, (finances, intellectual ability, family circumstances), I would think it is the natural progression. (I'd love to hear from anyone who feels otherwise, not as a challenge, but just to understand why you wouldn't do it). Honestly, it's ok to say "I wish I could go for my RN". I hear people say stuff like that to me all the time.

I call myself an RN. The few times I've said "nurse" people have asked me "RN" or "LVN"

Posting from my phone, ease forgive my fat thumbs! :)

I tend to just say "nurse" just because it's been my experience that a surprising percentage of the general population simply have no idea what a "LPN" is.

In fact, when I say "it stands for 'licensed practical nurse'.", more than a few people have somehow equated the word "practical" with the word "practitioner" and assume I'm a NP. Who has time to go through this song-and-dance over and over? And trying to explain all the education and scope of practice differences only results in glazed eyes and bored expressions.

Saying "nurse" is just easier.

I'm an LPN and I feel like OP is a little oversensitive. At least she didn't have people asking how come she "didn't want to be a real nurse." like I did. I went back and am graduating with my ADN soon. Because I wanted to advance myself, not shut everyone else up.

Specializes in PACU/ICU RN.

You are ALL wrong about this. Im going to put it down to an assumption that the majority of you are Americans. What does that have to do with the topic, you ask? Everything, as it turns out.

From a young age, you were all taught that, with hard work and effort, you will succeed. All counties that hold meritocracy high suffer from the pitfalls of meritocracy, but Americans are hell stubborn when it comes to admitting the dark side of this system.

You see, when you believe someone's success is purely due to their hard work and effort, it goes to follow that someone's failure is also due to them being equally deserving of their failure. This is false. A person's success ALWAYS comes down to a certain degree of privilege, and luck. A nurse in South Sudan will be lucky to live till she is 50, and it will have nothing to do with lack of effort. So learn to be mindful of the fact that privlige is invisible to those who have it.

The other great failing of meritocracy is that it does not take into account that life is, to a large extent, luck. My friend daughter has terminal breast cancer. She has two very young children. Did she deserve this? Bad things happen to good people, and everyone deserves the benefit of the doubt. They all have a story you aren't privvy to. That's the problem with a little bit of success. It's too easy to lose your humility.

Why do some of you feel the need to brag about your achievements ? Because of your outdated views about meritocracy. You got chances other people did not, so learn to shut up and get on with it.

To the person who asked the question, remember that no one is EVER successful at everything. Luck comes and goes, and our "success" is about being able to seize the moment. I'm not saying hard work isn't a part of it. But it's not the only part, not by a long shot. Maybe you feel you need to move upward? Time to ask what's holding you back.

Any nurse worth their salt doesn't brag. I recently attended a talk where the speaker mentioned her PhD no less than 6 times. I was running for stemetil by the end. Nursing is in the little things you do for others each and every day. The need to talk about your achievements is childish. Maybe their are many millenials on this forum. Millennials seem to love talking about their "achievements ". But they don't know what they don't know. Having a degree doesn't disqualify you from Dunning Kruger bias.

Americans' false beliefs about meritocracy has created the tumultuous situation your country is in today. What you have is a society almost void of compassion. How far down do you all have to fall before you all wake up? Its not the presidents fault, or any one particular political party. It's all of your fault. Even as your country circles the drainpipe. Your country's problems won't be solved by politicians. It will only be solved by creating compassion and community rather than division and hate.

A degree or piece of paper doesn't, has never made a nurse. I take heart in the thought that facts remain facts, irrespective of whether humans believe them or not. I've met plenty of academics who were clueless as to either real compassion or emotional intelligence. So one must choose what you want to succeed at. A piece of paper (and I have my share of those) has never made a nurse. Have you all strayed so far from the truth???????

Specializes in Oncology, ID, Hepatology, Occy Health.

I started as a Nursing Auxilliary (Nurses' Aide in the UK) and was as proud of myself then as I am now with a masters. When asked what I do I say I'm a nurse (and in my last days in the UK when I was a Clinical Nurse Specialist, the reponse was still "I'm a Nurse").

Most people outside nursing aren't aware of the distinctions and don't actually care. Most good nurses will judge you on your patient care and your effictiveness as a colleague, not on your qualifications. Those who constantly flaunt a higher qualification have a self esteem problem, frankly. Yes, tell people when you're asked, but I have a colleague for example who is jokingly known as Jennifer "did I ever mention I have a masters by any chance" A****" (not her real name). That tells you everything - any respect people might have had for her masters is neutralised by her constant talking about it.

For years I was the RGN (RN) while my partner was an EN (LVN). With his extensive ICU and CCU experience I would often bow to his superior knowledge. I always respected him and that didn't suddenly go up a grade the day he converted to RGN (RN), although I was proud of his acheivement.

Yes, it's about egos and self worth. I'm proud of my achievements but I don't talk about them every day. If I mention them here of course I'm bragging a little, but is anybody reading actually impressed? No, of course not.

I actually firmly believe in one level of qualified nurse. Here in France we just have one nurse, the IDE, and we're all equal (no senior this, junior that, charge hand, team leader etc. Each nurse is fully responsible for his/her own patients. We help each other as a team but I'm not senior or junior to my colleagues. We're helped by aide soignants (care assistants) who have trained for 1 year but are NOT nurses. Thus there is no RN/LVN war to be fought (as indeed in the UK they phased out the EN but sadly still have a laughingly hierarchical grading system).

Any post-basic course, degree, masters etc. is a wonderful personal bonus, but it isn't essential and doesn't necessarily make you a better nurse. Some nurses get so bogged down in their academia they can tell you what impact post-modern theory might have on health care but they've forgotten how to take somebody to the toilet.

Specializes in PACU/ICU RN.

I worked for Medecins sans Frontieres for one year. Maybe due to a certain kind of persons I worked with, but I personally loved working with the French.

I would love to visit France again one day. So much to love!

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