WHY are nurses so catty??

Tweety, BSN, RN · May 22, 2005

WRONG!!!!!!!!!!
Oh, so WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!

:yeahthat:

There's a big problem that women are thought of one way when they behave, but men can behave the same way and be thought of differently.

allnurses Guide · May 22, 2005

Ask yourself this question, why is it when a doctor enters a room, the nurse is so nice to the doctor and ask yourself why that same niceness is not carried over to the fellow nurses. Nurses do not treat or speak to fellow nurses the same way they talk or converse with physicians. Its shameful.

It is probably the same dynamic as how you treat your family - you show them your warts and all but are on your best behavior for strangers.

steph

caroladybelle, BSN, RN · May 22, 2005

Why are nurses so catty????????

Doesn't that resemble the old phrase, "When did you stop beating your wife?????"

It assumes as fact, something that may not be fact for everyone.

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And as a general rule, problem workplaces have to feed off of someone to get their strength. It is difficult for someone to be "catty" when the other staff do not cooperate.

In other words, those frequently doing the complaining about "cattiness" are those that feed on that "cattiness" when it is not directed at them.

Much like gossip and backbiting quickly lose their thrill if there is no one listening.

Kelly_the_Great · May 22, 2005

But men don't go to the boss. They know where to draw the line.

Are you kiddin' me???

Next the argument will be, well, maybe men are just as b*tchy (or catty - whichever) but that's just because of the "feminization of society".

:uhoh3:

Tweety, BSN, RN · May 22, 2005

The recruitment and retention committee came along and asked us why we with long-term employment stay at this hospital. Was it the pay? The benefits?

The number one answer was "I like the people I work with".

We have our catty moments, and when a nurse enters the room we don't jump up and act all polite, like when a stranger comes through, we've had our share of bullies too.

Personally, I think it's a great place to work because there aren't many men there. :chair:

Kelly_the_Great · May 22, 2005

Personally, I think it's a great place to work because there aren't many men there. :chair:

AHAHAHA, Tweety!

You're gonna get a reputation :nono: . Didn't you know there's a double standard??? I mean, it's okay to talk all day long about how all th' problems in nursing (for that matter th' whole dang world - after all Eve ate the apple 1st) are because of women because naturally we're all a bunch of B's.

But, you! You sayin' this about men! You must be a man-hater!

LOL... :wink2:

neuronursein06 · May 22, 2005

Ask yourself this question, why is it when a doctor enters a room, the nurse is so nice to the doctor and ask yourself why that same niceness is not carried over to the fellow nurses. Nurses do not treat or speak to fellow nurses the same way they talk or converse with physicians. Its shameful.

IMHO, nurses do not always treat physicians well- just like physicians don't always treat nurses well, they don't treat their colleagues well, and nurses don't treat nurses well- not all of the time, of course. I've witnessed physician's significant others as patients, the physician not acting as an MD, and answering Q's for his wife- and the nurse, who knew this MD well, telling him that she was going to call security on him? for answering questions? (The wife was unconscious at the time!!!) She was asked to resign, as this was witnessed not only by another nurse and tech, but by the senior resident in the ER, and the ER attending. Of course, this is only one example of it off the top of my head.

I've worked on small units and large units as a tech- while there are "clicks", both female and male, wherever one works, I think the larger floors, as a whole, have the type of "lifestyle" to "welcome" cattiness. I won't go into it here- but it does happen with guys and girls....nurses, techs, med students, and docs....but only a handful of people.

allnurses Guide · May 22, 2005

Cliques happen everywhere. Sometimes they are just perceived and the people don't intend to make anyone feel left out.

steph

Tweety, BSN, RN · May 22, 2005

AHAHAHA, Tweety!
You're gonna get a reputation . Didn't you know there's a double standard??? I mean, it's okay to talk all day long about how all th' problems in nursing (for that matter th' whole dang world - after all Eve ate the apple 1st) are because of women because naturally we're all a bunch of B's.
But, you! You sayin' this about men! You must be a man-hater!
LOL... :wink2:

:rotfl:

Nah, no hatin'. Some of my best friends are men. I'm married to one. Heck I am one.

Seriously, I could stereotype all day about men's egos, their homophobia, their lack of tenderness and compassion, that they are only in it for the money, their know it all attitude and not wanting to follow directions or ask questions, their presumption that females are catty, etc. But I won't do that. :chuckle

Rick_s3 · May 22, 2005

ditto pete....its all about the team....too much of the 3 b's bickering,b**chin,blabbin...for the other half

Yup, he's right.

karengr · May 22, 2005

I remember being in nursing school and one of my instructor's telling the class that "nurses eat their young...or their own..." or something like that. She said that nurses were some of the most competitive people you will ever meet. I really thought she was exaggerating...until I graduated and went to work in the field....or should I say...in the trenches...YES nurses eat their young. They are some of the most cold-hearted, back-stabbingest people I have ever met...I am sorry to say. Yes, you have b*****s everywhere, but you have an EXCESS in the nursing field! They will find and pick apart some of the most petty ridiculous things imaginable. SnowymtRN...I feel for your Mom...that other nurse was not worried about her in the least, if she had been, she'd have gone to your mom FIRST...as is often the case, unfortunately, more often than not, she was trying to stir up some trouble...it's a constant fight to watch your back...and I actually work with some of the more decent of the breed!!! UGHHHHHHHH.................and they wonder why there is a nursing shortage?????!!!!!!! :angryfire :angryfire

I couldn't agree more! I've seen some of the most heartless behavior toward fellow nurses and it leaves me with this knot in the pit of my stomach. Nurses are absolutely HORRIBLE to work with! I know, because I've been in the business for 22 years as an LPN.

I worked with a nurse from England (an agency nurse) in a nursing home, who had just been diagnosed with breast cancer. She was always an upbeat person, but as she was leaving she stopped to hug me and another nurse. It was as though she didn't think she would live to return. Anyway, she quipped, "Well Ducky, I'm off to get my titty zapped!" Again, her humor was covering the fear I saw in her eyes as she left to get her radiation tx. after work. Well, one of the hateful nurses complained about her hugging us, stated she couldn't stand that nurse, was glad she hadn't tried to hug her or she would have pushed her away, and was going to complain to the DON to ensure she could never come back. I stared at her in amazement and pointed out the obvious - this woman was absolutely terrified - covering her fear the best way she could - had a 12 yr old son - recently divorced - and all her relatives were in Enlgand! Furthermore, I pointed out that she was always nice! Well, this nurse not only complained about that nurse - but me as well!

I have many other stories as well and have been treated very badly on many ocassions myself. I'm hoping that becoming a NP or CRNA will give me greater autonomy and allow me to avoid being knifed in the back so much. There are so many "nurses" who should have been weeded out in nursing school.

Tweety, BSN, RN · May 22, 2005

Karen, I'm sorry you're so bitter about your experiences.

I can take a look at my interactions with nurses on a daily basis and over the years and look at the times I was "stabbed in the back", gossiped about, or treated unfairly and balance them with the times I was supported, talked to, or even just ignored as they went about their business and I went about mine, and realize the scale tips overwhelmingly to the positive.

Which is why I can't say with confidence that "nurses are catty" or "nurses eat their young". Are some nurses catty, yes they are. Have I been stabbed in the back by a coworker, yes I have. Have I seen a nurse eat their young, yes I have. But still I can't generalize that nurses are catty and eat their young. There are too many good nurses, too many supportive nurses, too many nurses in the same boat I am with stress and poor staffing. We need each other. Too many to generalize that nurses are horrible human beings. Too many for me to let the ones that stab me in the back force me to become bitter because it's balanced by the supportive ones who have helped me along the way. And no, I'm not too naive to realize there are bad seeds in nursing.