WHY are nurses so catty??

fergus51 · May 22, 2005

Maybe we should start a thread to talk about all the nice things our coworkers have done for us over the years....

lady_jezebel · May 22, 2005

stress can bring out the worst side of people sometimes. nurses and doctors are generally rude at times, due to the work environment imo. i think people enter nursing or medicine with good intentions (usually), but many end up feeling burned out & used up at some point in their careers.

however, i've noticed that people within corporate environments can be pretty nasty/gossipy at times. cubicles can drive anyone mad, and some large businesses have really negative cultures. corporate drones also act out the stress of competition & (in their case, not nursing) boredom by behaving "catty".

smsrnbsn · May 23, 2005

Well, he might be right, but...as healers, we should also extend our healing toward one another. It wouldn't have taken any longer to extend a kind word of concern before sending your mother to be evaluated. As nurses, The Business is Healing...for all...even ourselves.

:balloons:

Trublunurse · May 23, 2005

It seems to me that there may be a bigger problem than attitude on this unit. Mere limping alone shouldn't slow a nurse down all that much where she couldn't do her job. Perhaps the workload was too great. Maybe too much is expected from not enough staff. Face it, we have an aging nursing population, many of us are overwt. and not in the best of health as well as suffering from profession related repetitive injuries to our bodies. Are we supposed to be thrown away when we can no longer do what we used to be able to do? Or shouldn't the workplace adjust to this reality? Actually, we are expected to do more than we used to do at the same level of functioning that we did when younger, in better shape, etc. And, if too much is expected from nurses, yes, the attitudes and backbiting will get out of hand, regardless of gender mix. I don't know that management really wants to stop the bad attitudes. As long as staff focuses on biting each other they aren't biting into the poor policies of the administration. I really enjoyed that piece on work abuse and thought it was dead on. I also recomend a new book out by Suzanne Gordon called Nursing Against the Odds. I couldn't put it down! If enough of us read it, maybe we could start a discussion thread on it??? Its very insightful as to the problems within nursing and how it affects us individually, our patients and society as a whole. And- there are solutions pro offered, not just complaining. I feel real bad about what happened to the RN with knee pain. Similar situations have happened to my mom, my brother and to me while on our nursing jobs. Its not right. Have I ever behaved badly to another coworker? Yes, I have. Usually I'm easy to get along with, but dysfunctional work environments tend to trigger me into snippy verbal abuse. The more burned out I get the worse I get. And, I am not going to excuse myself! I own it. But I am also not going immobilize myself by feeling guilty. I am trying to avoid the behavior in myself by recognizing the cause and the effect. I don't think I am alone in this, although not many of us want to admit our bad behavior. No one likes to realize that they have done or said hurtful non productive things to coworkers. But I bet we all do at times, especially when stressed. I say admit it, ask for forgiveness, forgive ourselves and work to improve the situation and ourselves. Working to improve the work environment should help improve the temperment of the coworkers who don't have enough insight to explore and change themselves. Oh yeah, easier said than done. Beyond a doubt. But it's good to talk about it, and start doing something, starting with ourselves! I think nursing is gonna turn itself around. In the meantime, plenty of our souls are bleeding.

kadokin, ASN, RN · May 23, 2005

But men don't go to the boss. They know where to draw the line.

Men go to the boss. It happens all the time.

Artis · May 23, 2005

YOur absolutely right, your souls are bleeding, thats why it is up to the individual nurse to make a change and to examine the soul and ask oneself, what is actually happening to me, here and now on this ward? Why am I this way? Why am I raising my voice? why am I speaking in this tone of voice? Am I unhappy? If they could only critically reflect upon oneself. Nurses have no right to treat another with disrespect. Its discrimination, no matter what the problem is, justice should prevail and as a human being deserves the equality this country has offered.

It seems to me that there may be a bigger problem than attitude on this unit. Mere limping alone shouldn't slow a nurse down all that much where she couldn't do her job. Perhaps the workload was too great. Maybe too much is expected from not enough staff. Face it, we have an aging nursing population, many of us are overwt. and not in the best of health as well as suffering from profession related repetitive injuries to our bodies. Are we supposed to be thrown away when we can no longer do what we used to be able to do? Or shouldn't the workplace adjust to this reality? Actually, we are expected to do more than we used to do at the same level of functioning that we did when younger, in better shape, etc. And, if too much is expected from nurses, yes, the attitudes and backbiting will get out of hand, regardless of gender mix. I don't know that management really wants to stop the bad attitudes. As long as staff focuses on biting each other they aren't biting into the poor policies of the administration. I really enjoyed that piece on work abuse and thought it was dead on. I also recomend a new book out by Suzanne Gordon called Nursing Against the Odds. I couldn't put it down! If enough of us read it, maybe we could start a discussion thread on it??? Its very insightful as to the problems within nursing and how it affects us individually, our patients and society as a whole. And- there are solutions pro offered, not just complaining. I feel real bad about what happened to the RN with knee pain. Similar situations have happened to my mom, my brother and to me while on our nursing jobs. Its not right. Have I ever behaved badly to another coworker? Yes, I have. Usually I'm easy to get along with, but dysfunctional work environments tend to trigger me into snippy verbal abuse. The more burned out I get the worse I get. And, I am not going to excuse myself! I own it. But I am also not going immobilize myself by feeling guilty. I am trying to avoid the behavior in myself by recognizing the cause and the effect. I don't think I am alone in this, although not many of us want to admit our bad behavior. No one likes to realize that they have done or said hurtful non productive things to coworkers. But I bet we all do at times, especially when stressed. I say admit it, ask for forgiveness, forgive ourselves and work to improve the situation and ourselves. Working to improve the work environment should help improve the temperment of the coworkers who don't have enough insight to explore and change themselves. Oh yeah, easier said than done. Beyond a doubt. But it's good to talk about it, and start doing something, starting with ourselves! I think nursing is gonna turn itself around. In the meantime, plenty of our souls are bleeding.

scherzo · May 23, 2005

nursemike, ASN, RN · May 23, 2005

Honestly (and maybe I'm at fault, here) I'm not very interested in fairness to the nurse that "ratted." In response to the OP's question, I do think it is important that nurses police the behavior of their fellow nurses--if you know a nurse is negligent or incompetent or unethical, you have an ethical obligation to intervene, to protect both the profession and its patients. But that doesn't mean stabbing each other in the back by running to management every time you think there might be a potential problem.

The nurse who ratted may have lacked "inner strength" or "communication skills." An argument can be made that either deficit makes her unfit to be a nurse as surely as a bad knee, if not moreso. To be sure, we only have one side of the story, but that side portrays someone whose lack of character poisons the environment for everyone. If we knew that the OP's mother, with the limp, actually was unable to keep up, we might have to ask what measures could allow her to function within her abilities--transfer to a less physically challenging role, for example. But if we rely on prejudice: she's older, her knee is bad, she's obese, she doesn't take care of herself, we deny her the opportunity to demonstrate her abilities, and perhaps lose a nurse who is capable of providing excellent care.

Nursing can be a physically demanding field, but with all due respect, it isn't nearly as physically demanding as my previous career, as a carpenter. A carpenter who is past his physical prime is often a valuable asset to a crew for his knowledge base and experience. Of course, carpentry is a craft, not menial labor, and the most important skills of carpentry aren't physical, but mental. Digging a ditch, on the other hand, requires relatively little technical skill, and physical strength is paramount. Unless you need it dug in a hurry, in which case the technical skill of operating a backhoe beats physical strength every time.

CHATSDALE · May 23, 2005

I have worked with co-workers from hell, both sexes but the older i get the more i am inclende to appreciate the vast majority of people who are concerned about their pts and who want to do their work day and go home to a family

i absolutely hate terms like 'male nurse' 'lady cop' but this is a losing battle so to prevent ulcers i smile and ignore it..one thing about being old is that you don't have the time or the energy to waste on unimportant things

i work with one of the most annoying Bs you would ever want to see but i have many parts of the job that i like, and it is convenient for me to work here so i weight my options and i haven't let her [yes, female gender, conincidence]

run me off...

i have noticed that she is not that bad to others so i think it is something about me that she personally doesn't like...

not to paint myself with the same brush but sometimes some little imp inside me smiles just a little bit when she goes on and on about her family woes

most people are good and considerate...why do we always notice the nasty ones..M/F

as for original op some people don't like older workers or overweight people...prejudice is prejudice...ignore it and don't let it ruin yourday

khine2mn80 · May 23, 2005

The art of letting go.......just let it all go .....holding a fire too long in your hands will do no good then burn you...........just let it be...catty nutty ridiculous...whatsoever......afterall we only have one aim in our job......giving our best to our patients.....but sometimes it gets lost due to so many unnecessary burdens.....

for me once i step out of the ward i let my mind clam down n let go of whatever anger frustrations n resentment i had during that shift......embrace that little joyful thing u've done during your time n enjoy that laughter with someone........n u'll feel lighter

_________________________________________

life is a mirror ..........ur deeds be it good or bad will come back to you....its just a matter of time...........

Michael2546 · May 23, 2005

I am sorry that it seems to some of you like we are stereotyping, but the fact is that nurses are catty...however, I would disagree with the people that say it is because they are women, and that male nurses do not behave in this manner. Male nurses can be just as catty and backstabbing as the female nurses...in fact, it has been my experience with several, not all, but several male nurses I have worked with, that they use their being male to get special, preferential treatment. I mean I am sure that this is not the case with ALL male nurses, just as the fact is that ALL female nurses are not catty...but you have people who behave badly of EITHER gender in ALL professions...nursing is no exception. The fact that a lot of nurses are high-strung, competitive people just breeds this kind of behavior. Let's face it...most nurses did not get to be nurses by being shy, timid people...and so that aggression needed to jump the hurdles needed to get through nursing school and such, comes through, in the workplace, for some people, as "catiness" (if that is even a word)....like it or not it's the truth. :)

You never hear the term Male Lawyer or Male Doctor so it is about time to lose the male nurse title and be either a competent nurse or incompetent nurse and stop segregating us a male and female.

anichols · May 23, 2005

i personally prefer good nurses to bad, any gender. as far as catty and rude to someone overweight there may be other issues to consider. today we had a similar situation...slow, very obese trainee. like the nurse in the original post, i too went to hr to "narc" on this person. however the reason was that we had an emergency with a patient and the trainee (who will not answer lights and can't do a round without resting) could not respond appropriately due to his weight and slowness. he simply was physically unable to hurry to a bedside at the end of the hall to respond much less run back to the station for emergency supplies and had we not had good staff able to cover for him the patient could have died. it could be the person in the original post was simply concerned for patient well-being, not trying to be catty. there are rude catty people of all genders in every profession, but small groups like nurses just tend to see the same few ones day in day out so it seems worse than if there were 100 employees with more "good" people around to counter the bad.