WHY are nurses so catty??

[SnowymtnRN]

I swear sometimes i don't know WHY i'm in this profession. My mom works at a job as a RN and was limping one day. Her knee bothers her from time to time, etc...she's overweight (and working on it) but it gives her trouble at times. Instead of someone ASKING her what was wrong, one of the nurses ran to the manager and told her that my mom couldn't "keep up" and didn't seem to be quick enough for the job cuz she seemed disabled. This is a NEW job for my mom, so she's still on orientation technically. The manager called her in and made her take off today to go to Occ health and have it tested so she could be cleared to work. WTF?? She told her "we'll figure out what to do pending what the doc says." so she didn't work today and lost that time worked. Of course she went to occ health, the Doc tested her etc...and cleared her no problem. She told him she was excercising, walking and taking meds for it. Forgot to wrap it that day, but was not having any trouble SINCE that day. I have 2 problems with this. 1 is that NOBODY asked her what was up with her knee that day. NOBODY. 2 is that the manager just jumped on it because of what this other nurse SAID. WHY do nurses feel like they have to police each other's performance? UGH i'm just disgusted.

[Tweety, BSN, RN]

I'll take what I can get!!!!:)

It is nice to be able to speak to someone that has had such a great experience...I wish I were you my friend. I WISH I didn't feel the way I do, but unfortunately, I have not been exposed to the great people you have. Don't get me wrong, I know some beautiful nurses that are the sweetiest, kindest, and gentle souls. Have great friends and good working relationships. I think that stress can bring out the worst in people sometimes...but can't take the stress out of nursing...anyways, thanks for making me chuckle!:)

I definately agree that stress can bring out the worst in people. I've worked in some nursing environments that I've had to leave. Mainly leaving charge nurse positions with coworkers that wearn't so nice, that were insupportinate, or I just didn't have the energy to be in charge of. I never once thought, "this environment is this way because I work in a female dominated field and I have to expect that females are more mean than males and females are catty". I faulted myself for being an ineffective charge nurse, and I've faulted management for letting it get that way. Never did I blame the fact it was female dominated.

So I'm not saying I've worked in Shangri La. I have the same problems and concerns as any nurse.

Woot.

[nursemike, ASN, RN]

Seems to me that the biggest difference between men and women in the workplace is that women have more trouble separating work performance (and evaluation thereof) from personal criticism.

I think pretty much everyone has problems with that. It isn't easy to accept criticism in any form.

I will buy that men and women often have different styles of aggressive behavior, largely because we're raised differently. Girls are still conditioned to avoid straightforward confrontation, and boys are still somewhat conditioned toward physical violence. If only all children could be taught to behave like grown-ups by the time they're grown up.

[pebbles, BSN, RN]

There are team-building and communication workshops that can be done, to help ease the problem. Managers would have to make it mandatory for everyone in the workplace to participate. There are ways to change the workplace culture and communication styles. Help people learn to communicate with each other, about things like what happens when someone doesn't meet your expectations, how do you handle it. Help people communicate on a bit more of a professional level, rather than the behind-someone's-back, or "catty" approaches.

Just some thoughts. It's not about "nurses" or "women", imo. It's about groups and group interaction and workplace group dynamics.... and it can be changed, if people would be willing to work on it.

[minneRN]

You've got a positive attitude. My last bedside position sucked. They changed managers and the manager decided she didn't like the head nurse that had been doing her job for the past 6 years. She replaced her with another nurse. After about 2 years, she hated that nurse and kicked her off the floor!!!! She had tantrums and tyrads (spelling) like you wouldn't believe....after a little bit of that I thought, forget this I'm outta here!!!

I definately agree that stress can bring out the worst in people. I've worked in some nursing environments that I've had to leave. Mainly leaving charge nurse positions with coworkers that wearn't so nice, that were insupportinate, or I just didn't have the energy to be in charge of. I never once thought, "this environment is this way because I work in a female dominated field and I have to expect that females are more mean than males and females are catty". I faulted myself for being an ineffective charge nurse, and I've faulted management for letting it get that way. Never did I blame the fact it was female dominated.

So I'm not saying I've worked in Shangri La. I have the same problems and concerns as any nurse.

Woot.

[minneRN]

Wow, very well put Mike. Nice reflection, haven't really thought about it in that way.

I think pretty much everyone has problems with that. It isn't easy to accept criticism in any form.

I will buy that men and women often have different styles of aggressive behavior, largely because we're raised differently. Girls are still conditioned to avoid straightforward confrontation, and boys are still somewhat conditioned toward physical violence. If only all children could be taught to behave like grown-ups by the time they're grown up.

[nursesinabox]

Female nurses are catty because they are women, and frankly, many women are catty. Male nurses expect anyone who takes a job to be physically able to perform. It's not personal. In fact, the NM is doing her job by sending the newly hired RN to get eval'd. If the new RN can't physically do the job, now is the time to find out. Again, it's not personal, it's business.

Not to get into stereotypes, but this is only an issue because most nurses are women. Women look at this problem and see an injustice to the individual. Men look at it and see an injustice to the team.

Meow.

Pete Fitzpatrick

RN, CCRN, CFRN, EMT-P

You are absolutely right, the problem is that there are too many women forming these chicken coops. Reality? This is just one reason we need men, to keep us from making fools of ourselves...it just so happens that rarely will a woman gossip and make an *** out of her petty self in front of a man...WE NEED MORE MEN TO CREATE BARRIERS TO THE LINE OF GOSSIP AND PETTY CRAP THAT GOES ON WITH WOMEN. Likewise, the presence of women keeps men from belching and farting in public. We all have our faults.

[gwt]

Hey!

Catting aside, I'm a 46 y.o. male, half way through my BSN and I'm looking at a pair of new knees in a few years. They got that way from a lifetime of other unrewarding, demanding work. I'm really looking forward to a more satisfying, albeit physically demanding career for once!

[JoniL&DRN]

Why are nurses so catty? Because nurses are mostly women and women are just catty.

I hate to say it.. but it's TRUE! My husband always says men don't have the same problems as women (in terms of catty-ness) because no dude would put up with another dude being a jerk to him... He just might have something there. Of course I have also ran into my fair share of women who are not that way, in fact just the opposite.

[ldkrn]

There's a lot of cattiness in nursing. Not because of women or men or black or white stereotyping issues. I think it's because of the work environment. It is so demanding and thankless that it just brings out the worst in some people. When pt's frustrate us, we can't lash out at them, so some of us turn on one another. I think we feel like we do so much for everyone bout ourselves. Some nurses will put down others to build up themselves. Many of the people who do this are actually very giving when it comes to dealing w/ pt's. If you get several of these folks together you can have a real cathouse! I do agree, it is not something peculiar to the nursing profession.

My sister is an attorney and overheard some of the clerical staff talking about how they shouldn't help her because she is just a faker and probably an alcoholic too! (she has an auto-immune cirrhosis of the liver and has been very ill in the past). Thank God she is assertive and confronted the gossip and threatened to have her and her pals fired if they continued to defame her character. She's a partner in that law firm now!

You know, though, there are different power dynamics at work in your sister's situation. An attorney of any status in a law firm has a lot more power over the clerical staff than one new staff nurse does anywhere.

Cattiness and pettiness are endemic in areas where people feel powerless and trapped, so they build themselves up by tearing others down. It's sickening, and nurses do practice it to the nth degree, especially on hospital units (big reason why I'm no longer employed in acute care settings). It ceratinly is not unique to nursing. I've spent a lot of time working in family literacy programs, you'd think the women there would be supportive of each other given all they've been through, but noooooooo. Can't wait to start ripping each other apart at the slightest provocation.

I guess the only thing I would say is that YOU can't control anyone's behavior, only how you react to it and what you do about it. If someone is a jerk, it's a reflection on them, not you. I don't understand, in this era of the nursing shortage, why nurses choose to stay in jobs where they are abused and unhappy when they don't need to.

[LeeRN911]

Why are nurses so catty? Because nurses are mostly women and women are just catty.

NOT true....... MEN are just as bad. Sometimes, men are worse.

[Heather56]

I agree that male nurses can be just as catty as female. The last place I worked had a group of nurses who were the ultimate of catty ie "mean girls". The problem was that they also jumped at the chance to have preceptor nursing students and would train their students in their art! I think there are many reasons why nurses are catty. I have found however that the cats are usually in packs (prouds?) and this can destroy the moral on a unit. I have to say the area I presently work in is much better.

[Artis]

Ask yourself this question, why is it when a doctor enters a room, the nurse is so nice to the doctor and ask yourself why that same niceness is not carried over to the fellow nurses. Nurses do not treat or speak to fellow nurses the same way they talk or converse with physicians. Its shameful.

Just brainstorming here:

I think the causes are many-fold, but three that I can think of right off the top of my head are:

1. Nursing is a very demanding, detail oriented field. You have to be on the ball every minute, all the time to do this job right. You can't be daydreaming anytime. If you aren't paying attention, someone could really get hurt, or worse. So co-workers tend to be very demanding as well.

2. Nursing instructors are intensely detail oriented, they have to be to produce great nurses. They also have a personal mission to "weed out" the less than ideal nurses, and this is after people have had to jump through flaming hoops to get *into* nursing school. Nursing instructors do not get reprimanded for being difficult to please, they are rewarded for it.

3. To get *into* nursing school, you have to be very very competitive. You don't get in, unless you are fairly driven to succeed as a nurse, this would tend to select a group that is almost tailor-made for young-eating. It kind of reminds me of chickens. If a chicken sees another chicken with a speck of blood (or something red) on it, that chicken will come and peck the red spot, and other chickens will come and peck too, until the injured chicken is killed, or nearly killed. Does this promote the survival of the fittest, or the survival of the meanest?