Why are nurses such back-stabbers?

Tweety, BSN, RN · Dec 16, 2006

Backstabbing they are! So give nothing to stab with!
There are other ladies who I would trust greatly but it has been earned.

BINGO! Give them nothing to stab with. In your moment of anger you lost their respect. Too bad in response they lost yours. Two wrongs don't make a right anyway you look at it.

sister--* · Dec 16, 2006

....Another thing that you can't change so easily: if you are in a truly toxic environment, nothing you will do will change it, until you change jobs. Generalizing and complaining rarely will do it for ya.

Yea, that...(

UM Review RN, ASN, RN · Dec 16, 2006

I would gladly leave this profession if I could find another in which I didn't have to worry about losing everything that I've ever worked for because some catty little brat took my words out of context and blew them out of proportion to my boss.

Do people not realize that their words have power? That those words can literally destroy lives?

I make a great target because I don't join in on the gossip. And if there's one thing I've learned, if you're not right in there with them, you get targeted.

Give them no ammo?

I'd love to, but it's a bit unrealistic. Coworkers follow each other and critique each others' every move throughout the day.

This last job, I thought everyone was so nice. Then one night, I'm sitting in the back doing my charting and I hear every single one of them ripping the absent ones to absolute shreds. It was disgusting. I just wanted to walk out right then and there, and I completely lost my respect for these otherwise excellent nurses.

I'm tired of it and I'm glad I'll be getting out soon.

Epona · Dec 16, 2006

Here's some advice for you that may work. It dawned on me while I was reading this, why haven't more people tattled on me or been ugly toward me in my past professional career??? I believe it was because I did not "get involved." I did my job, was friendly, yet professional. I have not made many friends at work places over the years, but the ones I did make, have been great friends. I think you can weed out those who are caddy and those who are geninue people. At least I have been lucky at that so far. And talk about a back-stabbing profession, Broadcasting and Media is certainly one of them... I really never had a problem or at least if there was talk about me, it never got back to me. And TV can be one cruel business.

Stay focused, be friendly yet professional and BE CAREFUL who you take on as a real friends.

Happy holidays!! Epona

:icon_cool:

Ruby Vee, BSN · Dec 16, 2006

i learned years ago that you elicit the responses you get.

i find it truly saddening and disappointing that nursing, predominately a female profession harbors such negative stereotypes against women. it truly amazes me how few of our members seem to actually like nurses, or to like women. it is small wonder that many nurses are having negative experiences with their co-workers. it seems that few nrses really like their co-workers, their profession or their gender. how sad that someone would have a negative experience with a co-worker (which that person may or may not have contributed to with an "off the cuff remark") and then generalize against an entire gender and most of a profession!

Sylv · Dec 16, 2006

i learned years ago that you elicit the responses you get.

not necessarily.

for instance, i recently encountered one witch of an rn that follows my shift, who either snubs people or verbally attacks out of the blue.

there are some really dysfunctional people out there and they are not all on the other side of the bed.

Jo Dirt · Dec 16, 2006

I've learned that females (and males can be included) who are prone to juvenile, resentful, bratty behavior usually don't lose it with age. I never understood it, myself. Why does it make them feel good to pull others down?

Bad character flaws these people have.

StNeotser, ASN, RN · Dec 16, 2006

i learned years ago that you elicit the responses you get.

i find it truly saddening and disappointing that nursing, predominately a female profession harbors such negative stereotypes against women. it truly amazes me how few of our members seem to actually like nurses, or to like women. it is small wonder that many nurses are having negative experiences with their co-workers. it seems that few nrses really like their co-workers, their profession or their gender. how sad that someone would have a negative experience with a co-worker (which that person may or may not have contributed to with an "off the cuff remark") and then generalize against an entire gender and most of a profession!

agreed.

if one looks at the world in general, notice how much more aggression is elicited by men. look at who starts wars. look at how many more males are in prison than females. look at women more positively people, please. after all, i'm sure you were all brought up by one.

this isn't meant to upset the men reading by the way, i'm just trying to restore some balance back to this thread. some men are bad, so are some women. but the gender stereotyping in this thread is disgusting.

guyk100 · Dec 16, 2006

Why do nurses feel the need to "tattle" on colleagues to the boss for petty things? Behavior like this does nothing to elevate our profession and everything to keep us down. Why are there some nurses who feel superior when they tell on someone to the manager? This recently happened to me and I thought I had a good rapport with my co-workers yet one of them ratted me out to the boss on an off-the-cuff remark that I made. Why does this happen? Is it because the majority of nurses are women and women are catty individuals. I'm a woman btw. From now on though, I am just going to do my work, and only talk to the other nurses/aides about clinically relevant stuff only. Other than that, I'll keep my nose in a book. Actually, I won't be working at this current place much longer. There are staffing issues that put my license in jeoprady so I am starting a job hunt after the holidays.
So, why do we do this to eachother?

You are right that nursing is a female dominated field & females are the biggist back stabbers. A instructed told me this.

Male dominated fields males usually cover for their own: Police cover up for their partners, Doctors usually cover for their own!!

If you think of other male dominated fields most of them cover their own!!

Midwest4me · Dec 16, 2006

From now on though, I am just going to do my work, and only talk to the other nurses/aides about clinically relevant stuff only. Other than that, I'll keep my nose in a book.

Yes, it bothers me a whole lot too---I think it's a gender thing as I haven't seen it much among male nurses. However, the talking to others only about "clinically relevant stuff" and keeping your nose "in a book" can and probably STILL will be fuel for the backstabbers...(i.e., "oh look she's antisocial now" realm of thinking). If someone has a problem with you for ANY reason, he/she will find something to complain about.:angryfire

Good for you for pursuing another job---especially if there are issues that place your license in jeopardy. The best of luck to you!

UM Review RN, ASN, RN · Dec 16, 2006

i learned years ago that you elicit the responses you get.
i find it truly saddening and disappointing that nursing, predominately a female profession harbors such negative stereotypes against women. it truly amazes me how few of our members seem to actually like nurses, or to like women. it is small wonder that many nurses are having negative experiences with their co-workers. it seems that few nrses really like their co-workers, their profession or their gender. how sad that someone would have a negative experience with a co-worker (which that person may or may not have contributed to with an "off the cuff remark") and then generalize against an entire gender and most of a profession!

i don't know about that. i like most people and get along well with most people. i'm a live-and-let-live kinda gal.

in my case, i was overhearing from a different area, and they were nurses that i didn't know all that well. i was truly shocked. some truly horrible things were said about other coworkers, accusations and judgments that made me sick to my stomach. i finally had to get up and walk through the group just to go to the bathroom and get some fresh air.

and guess what, this was not an isolated experience.

people--all people, not just nurses--need to realize that they talk too darned much about things and people that are not their business, and imo, that's the root of the problem. too many people simply don't have the mind or the manners to just shut up if they cannot say anything nice.

ok, off the soapbox now. thanks for letting me get that out of my system, because it was really bugging me.

LDK6294 · Dec 16, 2006

Hi to all who have contributed to this topic --

Here's the thing; having talked this over with a psychologist, it was put to me this way: IF you, as a conscientious, ethical, worker do all you can in a given day to provide the best possible care within the scope of your responsibilities, then you set an example of doing the right thing. Often, others notice that you are doing what they themselves are not, whether that includes taking an extra few seconds to calm someone in pain, or listen to a concerned family member, it only highlights to the observing co-worker the things they realize they should also be doing. Perhaps they've remarked to you that 'patient so-and-so is very difficult' but then see said patient respond warmly to you because of your extra effort and little bit of attention. That sets up some uncomfortable feelings in the co-worker; it requires reassessment of their own skills and abilities.

Face it, none of us like to look in the mirror and see warts. So what is easier? Instead of making changes internally, striking out by way of high-school type behavior is a tried and true defense mechanism that frankly, quite a few people resort to. It isn't an answer, it isn't mature, and it usually sets up an uncomfortable environment for all involved; sometimes (in the case of a LTC setting) even patients get involved in these mini-dramas. This is only an explanation as to the why of it; how to 'change' how nurses and other health-care professions treat each other belongs to each and every one, it comes from within. Recognizing that others may feel threatened by someone modeling behavior in a higher standard goes a long way to diffusing a sense of "What's their problem?".

Their 'problem' is just that; THEIR problem. So what if the perception is that a nurse is 'snooty' because they refuse to associate with juvenile behavior? Again, it only holds a mirror up to their own inadequecies. This applies to all careers, male and female. It may feel like it's just in nursing, but as others have already attested, it's everywhere. Listen to the lyrics in a song called "High school never ends" by a group called Bowling for Soup. It's spot on.

Life is what you make of it. Cheers!

:balloons: