Why is there so much drama in a field where we help people?

Nurses Relations

Published

Title is enough said. Forget "eating their young". Why so mean to each other??

Sometimes I wish we could get our frustrations out like they did in the old west: punch each other in the nose and then go have a beer.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
I'm thinkin' it be text speak.

I thought this was a professional site where we use professional language and write words out. No text speak in other words.

In the old west, they shot people. Or lynched them. Punching in the nose was rather mild. We could duel, I guess. Dueling is supposedly civilized.

Or we could just understand that nurses, despite what some pre-nurses seem to believe -- are only human. Sometimes we really don't LIKE each other. (Or our patients, but we HAVE to be nice to them.) We're not perfect. And some folks are just far too sensitive and take everything personally.

One day I was coming to work and had a bit of a misunderstanding with a door that, had I been paying more attention, I would have realized opened TOWARDS me. I wasn't really paying attention to the fact that it was opening towards me as I was rushing toward it. BAM! Hit my face, broke my glasses. So when I walked onto my unit, I had a nice shiner starting and was holding the pieces of my glasses. I went directly into the employee bathroom to assess the damage to my face, and then tried to tape my glasses together so I could see . . . one of the brand new nurses was at the nurse's station when I went there for tape. She acted all cold and huffy toward me and I couldn't figure it out. It turns out that she had said hello to me when I walked onto the unit, and was miffed because I hadn't responded. I heard her telling the secretary that she couldn't understand why I hated her. Even when I pointed out my shiner and the glasses I was trying to tape back together and told her I just hadn't SEEN her, that I hadn't deliberately ignored her, she didn't believe me. She was SURE I didn't say hello because I hated her. There's someone who needs to stop taking things so personally!

I'm thinking if we just TALKED to people, a lot of the drama would dissipate.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Im in Education and you find the same behaviors in this field as well!

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Psych.
Title is enough said. Forget "eating their young". Why so mean to each other??

1. Because we are dealing with things that others can only imagine.

2. Because of conflicting personalities. Some people see totally black and white while others can see many shades of gray. Some people make mountains out of molehills.

3. Because to some people the concept of teamwork means do whatever it takes to make myself look good.

4. People notice when management has favorites.

5. Management has favorites so not all rules are equally enforced.

6. Differing opinions on what appropriate care is.

7. Burn out

8. Not thinking outside the shift that you work.

9. Instead of airing complaints when it happens, people hold things in until they explode one day

10. Everyone has a preconceived notion on what is the appropriate course of treatment.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

I thought this was a professional site where we use professional language and write words out. No text speak in other words.

.

Thank you! I hate "text" talk.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

One day I was coming to work and had a bit of a misunderstanding with a door that, had I been paying more attention, I would have realized opened TOWARDS me. I wasn't really paying attention to the fact that it was opening towards me as I was rushing toward it. BAM! Hit my face, broke my glasses. So when I walked onto my unit, I had a nice shiner starting and was holding the pieces of my glasses. I went directly into the employee bathroom to assess the damage to my face, and then tried to tape my glasses together so I could see . . . one of the brand new nurses was at the nurse's station when I went there for tape. She acted all cold and huffy toward me and I couldn't figure it out. It turns out that she had said hello to me when I walked onto the unit, and was miffed because I hadn't responded. I heard her telling the secretary that she couldn't understand why I hated her. Even when I pointed out my shiner and the glasses I was trying to tape back together and told her I just hadn't SEEN her, that I hadn't deliberately ignored her, she didn't believe me. She was SURE I didn't say hello because I hated her. There's someone who needs to stop taking things so personally!

I'm thinking if we just TALKED to people, a lot of the drama would dissipate.

I agree with your last part. I often wonder if maybe I take things personal. I try and remember others have things going on in their lives, and may take it out at work, with or without realizing.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Im in Education and you find the same behaviors in this field as well!

No males take offense please. But I often wonder if it's because education and nursing are USUALLY women. We tend to be overemotional and take things more personal. Men tend to let most stuff roll of their backs. Just an observation.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

I'm not sure, but what you're saying has been my experience. I have known males that will be infuriated with people or situations, yet they would only let it be known around their trusted few acquaintances, while some women have been in meetings, and threatening to fight each other. For the most part, they end up moving up the career ladder very quickly, I've literally witness all of my male counterparts who had the same or less experience than I had, the same or less education/training, move on to supervisory roles in 1 school year! I have yet to experience the ugly catty behavior from a man, so I would say there is some truth here.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
No males take offense please. But I often wonder if it's because education and nursing are USUALLY women. We tend to be overemotional and take things more personal. Men tend to let most stuff roll of their backs. Just an observation.

It's really the same in ANY occupation. I'm not a nurse, I hope to be someday (maybe!), but it's like this anywhere you will work, no matter where. It's, you know, people.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in ICU.

I for one have worked other fields and I have never seen the mess I see with nursing. It really starts in nursing school. I wish they would weed those folks out somehow. Who cares if they score all A's, they are going to be toxic in the workplace.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Mean is a subjective term. Nurses who are direct, are not anything but work oriented, like to spend their downtime alone and the like could and often are described as "mean".

Work is not personal, although the kind of work we do can and is considered personal in nature--it is about the patients.

There are nurses who personally "call out" another nurse, purposefully embarass them in front of other nurses, patients and the like--who gossip and are just generally very vocal in the drama of their own creation--that to me is an entirely different story. And a behavior that needs to be reported.

However, a nurse that directly asks one to do something, who is focused on the task at hand, who may seem short and not friendly when asking a CNA to do something, and who generally just do their job and leave--that is not mean, that just implies that a nurse is just focused on something other than the niceties with other nurses.

As you continue with your journey to become a nurse, you can only control you--and reflect good practice. You can not control how others behave but be mindful of nurses who are really vocal at the expense of you or a co-worker.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Nursing Management.

Maybe some nurses have forgotten where they once were! All of us have to start somewhere. If we don't help each other, the job is even harder. I have been a nurse for many years and worked in all different settings, but have not forgotten what it was like to start out new!

Up Vote Up Vote ×
+ Add a Comment