Why is it MEN seem to get along better in this field than WOMEN??!!!

caroladybelle, BSN, RN · May 12, 2004

LPN2Be2004 - hope you learn a sense of humour before you graduate. My post wasn't derogatory, it wasn't sexist, racist, American bashing, elitist, communist or even industrialist (I would love to be an economist). Life is supposed to be fun.. remember when we all used to have fun? On the ward you won't have an ignore button (if you do where can I get one?).
I think that it was far to harsh that I have been sent to pergutory (sp.) What I think is the funniest about it is the irony. Hmm let me see. Why do men seem to get along better than women? Blocking me from posting to other threads is a bit ... how shall I say??? well I had better not. Denial of Service is a female response. Actually more effective and far more damage than physical abuse... bruises(sorry contusions) heal faster than mental scars. Not saying that I am a blubbering mess right now (I'll cry into my beer later).
I thought the whole point of this site was to allow nurses (and nurses to be) to exchange idea's, news and views. Guess I didn't read the rule about not mentioning men being able to pee standing up (we can you know. Whats more we can put the seat down as well. We just choose not to)
O boy am I looking forward to being in a workplace where this attitude reigns.
Anyhow I am off to surf the web for pictures of pretty women (ha ha ha) I was joking.

LPN has a wonderful sense of humor. You, my dear, are just not funny.

May I suggest that try the Student Doctor BB. I think it fits your attitude quite well.

And since I have been here, no one has ever just been blocked from all other threads than one that they continue to post on. If you cannot post, it is probably because your precious "male superiority" is too advanced to post on our simple BB.

(you know that you have almost the same style as some premed at SDN that was putting down Nursing - right down to the "Pee standing up" comment)

Stitchie · May 12, 2004

I don't know where you are from Stitchie, but I just don't see the problems you outline...Men don't get along better than women....Or maybe I just seem to get along with everyone and don't notice what you are noticing. Could be growing up with four brothers just makes me accustomed to the male environment..And specific personality types come into play. What might bother some women doesn't bother some men...I haven't run into the difficulty you seem to be describing....As I said before, lucky me...

You mean you don't see that your female behavior is a choice, rather than a biological imperitive?

That's all I'm saying, some women choose to be catty and wreck each other's lives. Why? They know, but I sure as heck don't.

I don't participate in the toxic environment. I choose more professional behavior.

susanna · May 12, 2004

You mean you don't see that your female behavior is a choice, rather than a biological imperitive?
That's all I'm saying, some women choose to be catty and wreck each other's lives. Why? They know, but I sure as heck don't.
I don't participate in the toxic environment. I choose more professional behavior.

Why? I think I know why.

Personally, the reason why I'm so interested in this thread is because of this: now that I've come of age, I've realised that I've never gotten personally close to a woman without finding out that she was really catty underneath.

All of my friends (who range from the ages 19-26) show some sort of harsh cattiness, meaning they like doing something that is very manipulative or cruel or mean, whether it be something just

a little scathing or disgustingly destructive, to other women.

The most common catty thing a woman does is talk about another women's misfortune just for the fun/interest of it without the intention of lending a helping hand or giving real advice. This, I think, is very manipulative becasue ir has hurt me the most in the past. When I asked, my friend actually seriously admitted to me that she likes gossping about other people because she likes laughing at their misfortune and thinking how she is not in that situation.

I've only had a few close scattered guy friends and theyve never seemed manipulative like that to me. But they do seem like they feel powerful by other means than cattiness. Hee hee. I dont how? Is that why u guys watch sports so much?

At work, I've also generally seen women behave this way; they act one way but underneath, are really destructive.

Before, I was always know as someone who didnt gossip. Now, I"VE BECOME CATTY from having these friends for so long. I've become obsessed with gossiping and poking at other people on their behalf. It doesnt feel good to do this but it doesnt feel good either to be left out of the circle because then, the cattiness is directed towards you! I know its mean and destructive to a team environment, where you want everyone to suceed and not just yourself.

Despite what some of you say, I dont believe that if you really like yourself, you can choose to be a respectful, confident person who does not engage in any of these activities. I beleive that because these are my only friends, and because I'm surrounded by this behavior, I cant help wanting to act this way. I mean, what am I supposed to do, just not have friends who are girls? Just stay away from my colleages who are women? This is a collective problem, not individual. It is propogated collectively and then individuals get sucked into the pattern. I beleive its the way women build trust, by being catty together towards others. Anyway, this is how it happens to me.

This is why I'm looking for collective and generalized answers to how to solve this problem.

Marie_LPN, RN, LPN, RN · May 12, 2004

You mean you don't see that your female behavior is a choice, rather than a biological imperitive?
.

No because i don't see it as a female behavior, i see it as someone's personal behavior that is not limited to one gender.

Behavior is a choice, but to call something "female behavior" makes it seem like it's only a female's problem.

Marie_LPN, RN, LPN, RN · May 12, 2004

Collective and generalized answers won't solve these prolems, because we're not clones.

susanna · May 12, 2004

Collective and generalized answers won't solve these prolems, because we're not clones.

We're not clones but we are very interactive beings and have ways of acting/thinking/doing that are collectively propagated.

A hero has a thousand faces.

No man is an island, all to himself.

Stitchie · May 12, 2004

No because i don't see it as a female behavior, i see it as someone's personal behavior that is not limited to one gender.
Behavior is a choice, but to call something "female behavior" makes it seem like it's only a female's problem.

Well, we are talking about female's vs. male's. And the majority of the posts on this seems to say that 'females are catty, manipulative' etc.

As far as I'm concerned, I'm a female, I chose my behavior, therefore it is my 'female behavior'.

It may not work for you, but it works for me.

Stitchie · May 12, 2004

Why? I think I know why.
Personally, the reason why I'm so interested in this thread is because of this: now that I've come of age, I've realised that I've never gotten personally close to a woman without finding out that she was really catty underneath.
All of my friends (who range from the ages 19-26) show some sort of harsh cattiness, meaning they like doing something that is very manipulative or cruel or mean, whether it be something just
a little scathing or disgustingly destructive, to other women.
The most common catty thing a woman does is talk about another women's misfortune just for the fun/interest of it without the intention of lending a helping hand or giving real advice. This, I think, is very manipulative becasue ir has hurt me the most in the past. When I asked, my friend actually seriously admitted to me that she likes gossping about other people because she likes laughing at their misfortune and thinking how she is not in that situation.
I've only had a few close scattered guy friends and theyve never seemed manipulative like that to me. But they do seem like they feel powerful by other means than cattiness. Hee hee. I dont how? Is that why u guys watch sports so much?
At work, I've also generally seen women behave this way; they act one way but underneath, are really destructive.
Before, I was always know as someone who didnt gossip. Now, I"VE BECOME CATTY from having these friends for so long. I've become obsessed with gossiping and poking at other people on their behalf. It doesnt feel good to do this but it doesnt feel good either to be left out of the circle because then, the cattiness is directed towards you! I know its mean and destructive to a team environment, where you want everyone to suceed and not just yourself.
Despite what some of you say, I dont believe that if you really like yourself, you can choose to be a respectful, confident person who does not engage in any of these activities. I beleive that because these are my only friends, and because I'm surrounded by this behavior, I cant help wanting to act this way. I mean, what am I supposed to do, just not have friends who are girls? Just stay away from my colleages who are women? This is a collective problem, not individual. It is propogated collectively and then individuals get sucked into the pattern. I beleive its the way women build trust, by being catty together towards others. Anyway, this is how it happens to me.
This is why I'm looking for collective and generalized answers to how to solve this problem.

That is dreadful, and I'm sorry that you haven't found any women to be close with and to trust.

Your co-workers are doing a disservice to thier professional standing. They have made bad choices in their behavior.

Spoiled1, MSN, RN · May 12, 2004

bingo! this is just one reason why this woman will never vote for a female president of the united states of america!

i don't think you are in a postiton to say what i will or will not do. like my other post stated, this is only my opinion! you can choose to agree or disagree, but please don't cross the line with comments as such.

Marie_LPN, RN, LPN, RN · May 12, 2004

Well, we are talking about female's vs. male's. And the majority of the posts on this seems to say that 'females are catty, manipulative' etc.
As far as I'm concerned, I'm a female, I chose my behavior, therefore it is my 'female behavior'.
It may not work for you, but it works for me.

Just because that majority of the posts have label some females as whatever, doesn't mean that the majority rules.

Your behavior that you choose is you own personal behavior, no matter what you call it.

Never would i consider my behavior or thought as "female". And that completely works for me.

nursemike, ASN, RN · May 12, 2004

Kind of a lively thread, eh? I have to admit, I do sometimes buy into the notion that women are catty and men are good-natured dullards, but it ain't necessarily true. The most mentoring, supportive nurses in my workplace happen to be women. Mostly somewhat older women, which is interesting, though I doubt all of them are post-menopausal--I'm thinking it may have more to do with experience than hormones, and of course it has a lot to do with character (anyone with the guts to stay in nursing for twenty years must have some inner fortitude).

I tend to agree with those who are skeptical of "generalized, collective" solutions, but I do concur with the need for a more positive environment. One thing I've noticed in school is that we few males do seem to feel a bit of comaradarie, since we are so vastly outnumbered. (That, and we spend a ridiculous amount of time discussing our more attractive classmates. That's probably a.) normal and b.) a subtle way of advertising our heterosexuality.)

I don't know--I've always thought I was pretty well in touch with my feminine side, even before nursing. I've always felt nurturing toward the critters in my life, and while children frighten me, I try to be kind to them. I think we all have attributes of both genders within us, if we are secure enough to access them.

I've also noticed that the women I like best are usually kind of tomboyish in their interests. To some extent, it may just be that physically active women tend to be better-looking, but I think it has as much to do with attitude. My advice, then, to women who do find it difficult to get along with other women would be to notice the few things we men do right, and copy them. Try to remember, though, that we've had our whole lives to practice.

My other advice is to try to look at a difficult co-worker through the same eyes you would a difficult patient. Sometimes people don't seem quite as bad if you can understand the issues they bring with them. Sometimes. Other times, there's a lot to be said for just steering clear of the jerks as much as possible.

leslie :-D · May 12, 2004

Collective and generalized answers won't solve these prolems, because we're not clones.

marie, i totally understand and agree with where you're coming from. speaking as the devil's advocate and to present a different perspective...once upon a time, women were not encouraged to speak their minds for it wasn't lady like. these repressed feelings manifested themselves into facetious, catty and indirect (passive/aggressive) behaviors. we were conditioned and brainwashed that a lady that speaks her mind is nothing but a *****. now today, our views are much more progressive and realistic. many women (such as myself) feel empowered when i'm called a *****. just for the fact that women are still called that but when men assert themselves, they're just being 'men'....well obviously we can see the double standard. in the meantime, there are (too) many residual women still unable or uncomfortable saying what they mean and meaning what they say, so it comes across as cattiness. but there are so many MORE women, such as yourself and other posters, that are secure in themselves and will call a spade a spade and that's to be embraced. my point is until all people can communicate with vindiction and self-assurance, these stereotypes and deep-rooted behaviors will remain. so definitely, continue to speak for yourself and only yourself, but in the meantime, we have to recognize that we're not going to change human nature, however conditioned. we just have to acknowledge the reality of the big picture.