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Why Do Nurses Eat Their Own?

Nurses Article   (94,119 Views 293 Replies 634 Words)
by nrsgofold nrsgofold, RN (New Member) New Member

nrsgofold has 20 years experience as a RN and specializes in ER,ICU.

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As current times have shown, we're short staffed. Administration wants to make money. So cuts are made to equipment and man power. Who has your back? Who can you rely on? Your fellow nurses? I'm not so sure anymore. Why do we as nurses eat our own when we should be teaching them and guarding them as our own. The fact is as we age our young nurses are going to be taking care of us, but there are those all too eager beavers who will in fact burn you. This is my experience. You are reading page 9 of Why Do Nurses Eat Their Own?. If you want to start from the beginning Go to First Page.

27 Posts; 886 Profile Views

I know I know this person is back LOL but i have to add my two cents here. When I was working on a graduate degree a pseudo mentor/ friend of mine who is a CEO of a large HCO told me something that literally changed my view/role in nursing. He said "I love nursing" I was sensing sarcasm so i asked him to elaborate, he said "when i am sitting in a meeting dealing with budgetary issues regarding our HCO, and cuts need to be made, nursing leadership immediately volunteers to kill their staff." He detailed the often detrimental and knee jerk decisions the nursing leadership would make to appease their HCO, and how easily he could freeze pay and eliminate raises for nursing staff altogether with little or no fuss. Essentially we nurses created a self-fulfilling pattern of shooting our selves in the foot. So a young nurse sees a toxic culture from the top down, and then she/he is underpaid, uses pto to cover low census, and works with bitter experienced nurses who have taken it on the chin for twenty years. Yeah thats why we are *******s, we are unwilling to be professionals who back each other, its easier to be mean and like a lemming walk off the cliff...Cheers:)

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Farawyn has 25 years experience and specializes in A little bit of everything..

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You guys must work in some crappy places. I can count the bad nurses I know on one hand. Very sad.

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I worked in nursing since 1987 and I became a nurse practitioner in 1991. I worked pre admitting and employee health at the same job till 2005. I left to work more flexible times and hours since I had 2 children. Now I am trying to get back in the hospital since my kids are older and the hospitals are not recognizing that I have been working all along and a nurse recruiter at University of Miami commented that I have not been in a hospital in a long time. I feel like I am being treated like I have the plague. So what if I have not been in a hospital in a long time, everything in a profession has to be learned usually after a job starts so I do not understand why this is a problem. Some people should not be in certain jobs if they have an additive like that. There is so much pettiness in nursing because it is a female dominated profession.

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Any job, where illogical and often dangerous pressure/and work is placed on a crew by everyone else up the chain of command will do one thing for sure: It will cause the crew to lash out the only way they feel safe to release pressure, and that is at each other. Folks have job fear, so won't lash UP (the ladder where the problems are coming from) so the pressure valve blasts sideways.

in other words, 95% of nursing stress begins at the very top and is pressured thru your bosses in whatever form works: bonuses...threats...both...etc.

i have mostly worked in rehabs and long-term care. i was fortunate enough to have also served many years in the US military. I bring 2 things to my nursing: strong camaraderie and a strong worth ethic. For instance, the last day I worked last week, i brought in fancy iced coffee and treats. one for the nurse i was taking shift from as well as her coworker. "I know your day was stressful, here is a little decompression treat!"

IF we don't take care of one-another, we can be sure that no one else will.

NO other profession can literally get away with slave labor, like nursing. it wasn't as bad as its getting and i fear will get worse.

I am not sure how hospitals are but, where I work, we do NOT stop for the entire 12 hr shift. No hyperbole there. Dont take lunch because we cant spare those precious minutes. We have way to many acute care, pysch, ALL admissions while we attend a no less than 4-6 hr medpass (depends on emergency(ies). We do MDS' work as well as clean up after pts whose physical habits are horrendous, if you are reading twixt the lines here... work a full shift, collapse into bed with another shift coming up..only to get a call @ 2 hrs into sleep because you missed sonething as you were doing your job plus MDS plus Admissions and told to get your tail into work to fix it. And yes, you still cone in for your night shift. Tired? That, like your license -- is your problem. Even the secretaries get to play "kick the nurse." With all the foreign nurses being shipped in at cheaper pay, attitude has changed too. The prevailing attitude is "If you don't like it - quit"

Suffice it to say if males were nurses, there is NO WAY they would be expected to be subjected to this. Jobs which are traditionally female treat us like errant children...there are good places to be sure but the pile on effect has really been changing these past few years. Not 10 years ago, i worked along 2 more awesome nurses and CNAs (they are still awesome!) and we ran the building at night. we were expected to be the professionals and we WERE what was expected.

Now? We cant send anyone else until the Admin (not a nurse) approves. Millionaire owners want more and more $$$ and we have all watched someone pay for that greed.

Used to be , by word of mouth, you found out where the more nurse-friendly places were.

I should hush...lol. anyhooo, I love my residents! i love my co-workers. i love nursing. but, at 56, i can still easily handle the pressure of 10 years ago...but i am looking to do something else. i have already seen 2 good nurses be destroyed. It nearly tore my heart from my chest. didnt used to believe in unions but i do now. just wish we could get more in the South. God Bless you, my sisters. Lets get our Nightingale on!!! :-)

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12 Posts; 332 Profile Views

I think it is because the public eye has nurses on pedestals and when you are on the inside, you realize what really happens. Nurses are viewed as angel such as teachers.

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167 Posts; 3,961 Profile Views

Yep Many of us have seen this. The experienced, older nurse is a threat or at the very least gets zero appreciation and recognition for her hard work and contributions. The young pretty one can disrespect her mentors all she wants. She can throw all her coworkers under the proverbial bus to make herself look good. And she gets promoted in record time. And she will cry "bully" when anyone calls her on her crap.

Now, I don't want to do management. They (the young) can have it and all the nastiness that goes with it. Middle management is one of the most unappreciated jobs anyone can do. So yea, they can have it. But I mind VERY much you stepping on me to get there while management names you "employee of the year" cause you "look good". I have a real problem there. And those people will be supervising and making decisions that they are not ready to make after a year or so total in nursing. Scary.

I HIGHLY doubt that management hires people simply because they "look good," from a business standpoint. If you have no interest in management, then why do you say that new nurses "step on you" to get above? Again, please explain how all of these young nurses "step on you," shove you down, and climb their way to success. Because, you know, their success depends on your failures, right? This is such an immature and egocentric generalization that I can't believe it's coming from a seasoned nurse.

Maybe they have more drive and passion, maybe they have more qualifications for management than you. Being a floor nurse and working in management have different skill sets.

You seem to have a lot of resentment against young nurses, even though you most likely were one yourself. Which only proves the hypocrisy in your statements.

You don't understand because you have no work experience as a nurse. So I can't really take your POV so seriously. Get some years as a practiced nurse under your belt and get back to us.

Oh, and just because I don't have any work experience as a nurse, does not mean I lack common sense. If you're going to use your seniority to save your pride, then you really have gotten yourself into a corner. Because all you need is common sense in this situation, really. Maybe stop blaming other nurses for your shortcomings.

Edited by milesims

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My friend, you aren't laughing, you are furious. I say this with a kind heart. You need to get out of any profession with other women. Its not them, its you. Please see someone and stop with the degrees...you have some terrible self hate going on and a bucket full of sheepskin hasn't helped. Be well

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SmilingBluEyes has 20 years experience.

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Once again, you are speaking of something you don't have first hand understanding of....... and what do you know of my shortcomings? Nothing at all.

Mgt DOES hire them cause they are "cute". A person was hired and my administrator who hired her said TO ME, it was cause she was "so darn cute and perky". She had no experience, no merits that the admin could name other than "interviewing well and being so dang cute". YOU are NOT a nurse, so you have no idea. It DOES indeed happen. And eating is not limited to "old eating young". This young nurse only lacked salt and pepper to finish the job. She was completely untrustworthy and most could not stand to work with her.

Again, try a few years in MY shoes and then get back to me. It's just plain silly to make assumptions based on purported "common sense". "Common sense" does not tell me how it would be to be a cop, firefighter or the like. I would make NO assumptions on their career experiences because I have not walked the walk. You are just talking the talk. Sorry, but true.

ETA: I just realized your age. I am sorry to have engaged you at all. I am officially through talking about this with you.

Best of luck.

I HIGHLY doubt that management hires people simply because they "look good," from a business standpoint. If you have no interest in management, then why do you say that new nurses "step on you" to get above? Again, please explain how all of these young nurses "step on you," shove you down, and climb their way to success. Because, you know, their success depends on your failures, right? This is such an immature and egocentric generalization that I can't believe it's coming from a seasoned nurse.

Maybe they have more drive and passion, maybe they have more qualifications for management than you. Being a floor nurse and working in management have different skill sets.

You seem to have a lot of resentment against young nurses, even though you most likely were one yourself. Which only proves the hypocrisy in your statements.

Oh, and just because I don't have any work experience as a nurse, does not mean I lack common sense. Because all you need is common sense in this situation, really. Maybe stop blaming other nurses for your shortcomings.

Edited by SmilingBluEyes

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167 Posts; 3,961 Profile Views

What frightens me about your view is that this might be used as an excuse; ...not my fault, I was abused…” How many times have we heard this from people charged with a crime? By using as an excuse, what I mean is if they bully (abuse) others (nurses, patients, etc.), they either justify it in their own minds (continue to do it), as a defense if they get caught doing it, or as reason NOT to report it if they witness it.

milesims,

The only explanation that I can see for this line of thinking is the union mentality where seniority is more important than qualification. Nurses are one profession that still has a strong union presence.

I completely agree with you. When pride is at stake, many simply pull seniority, and not qualifications, to dismiss what they don't think is "right" to them. This is really a toxic way of thinking and does not allow room for self-improvement, in my point of view.

This "cycle of abuse" is extremely childish.

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167 Posts; 3,961 Profile Views

Once again, you are speaking of something you don't have first hand understanding of....... Mgt DOES hire them cause they are "cute". A person was hired and my administrator who hired her said TO ME, it was cause she was "so darn cute and perky". She had no experience, no merits that the admin could name other than "interviewing well and being so dang cute. YOU are NOT a nurse, so you have no idea. It DOES indeed happen. And eating is not limited to "old eating young". This young nurse only lacked salt and pepper to finish the job.

Again, try a few years in MY shoes and then get back to me. It's just plain silly to make assumptions based on purported "common sense". "Common sense" does not tell me how it would be to be a cop, firefighter or the like. I would make NO assumptions on their career experiences because I have not walked the walk. You are just talking the talk. Sorry, but true.

So, management made a comment on how "cute and perky" a young nurse was, and you assume that THAT was the reason they hired her? How self-centered. Are you saying if you were "cute and perky" you would get the position easily? Is this how you place blame on things that you cannot change?

You really took management seriously when they said, "We hired her because she was so darn cute and perky?" Really? It sounds like a joke to me, and I'm pretty sure her resume doesn't say "so darn cute and perky" on it.

These generalizations and blame on young nurses are not going to aid in your self-improvement or better your life. It's best to let it go.

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SmilingBluEyes has 20 years experience.

19,552 Posts; 64,930 Profile Views

My friend, you aren't laughing, you are furious. I say this with a kind heart. You need to get out of any profession with other women. Its not them, its you. Please see someone and stop with the degrees...you have some terrible self hate going on and a bucket full of sheepskin hasn't helped. Be well

Who are you talking to?

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14 Posts; 833 Profile Views

If you plan on opening an agency, you might want to watch the politics. It's one thing to think something, yet another to post it or picture it. You will turn some people off with your trump pic...it's okay for an ordinary person, but a business owner would not typically be biased in that area for fear or turning away potential clients. It also may make you look like a bully and opinionated...but, that's just how I see it. Way to go on your goals at such a young age. Good Luck :-) May want to curb the know it all attitude regarding business and nursing until you have your papers. Oh, a tad of experience may help keep the doors open unless you happen to be so fortunate to have a golden spoon. :facepalm:

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