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Why Do Nurses Eat Their Own?

Nurses Article   (94,766 Views 293 Replies 634 Words)
by nrsgofold nrsgofold, RN (New Member) New Member

nrsgofold has 20 years experience as a RN and specializes in ER,ICU.

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As current times have shown, we're short staffed. Administration wants to make money. So cuts are made to equipment and man power. Who has your back? Who can you rely on? Your fellow nurses? I'm not so sure anymore. Why do we as nurses eat our own when we should be teaching them and guarding them as our own. The fact is as we age our young nurses are going to be taking care of us, but there are those all too eager beavers who will in fact burn you. This is my experience. You are reading page 10 of Why Do Nurses Eat Their Own?. If you want to start from the beginning Go to First Page.

SmilingBluEyes has 20 years experience.

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I have a feeling that sound advice is wasted. Some people have to live and learn it their own way. That much is patently clear here.

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167 Posts; 4,005 Profile Views

If you plan on opening an agency, you might want to watch the politics. It's one thing to think something, yet another to post it or picture it. You will turn some people off with your trump pic...it's okay for an ordinary person, but a business owner would not typically be biased in that area for fear or turning away potential clients. It also may make you look like a bully and opinionated...but, that's just how I see it. Way to go on your goals at such a young age. Good Luck :-) May want to curb the know it all attitude regarding business and nursing until you have your papers. Oh, a tad of experience may help keep the doors open unless you happen to be so fortunate to have a golden spoon. :facepalm:

Thank you for your insight and compliments! :)

Maybe I should watch my politics on here hahaha.. I certainly hope nobody supports him here.. And yes, I do agree with you that I am very opinionated. I don't see it as a bad thing, and I certainly wouldn't stir up arguments in a business setting. AN is my fun time =D

I do have the papers for the business ready, and I don't have a golden spoon (unfortunately). I hope to gain the experience that I need while running my business.

Good luck to you and thanks again!

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167 Posts; 4,005 Profile Views

I have a feeling that sound advice is wasted. Some people have to live and learn it their own way. That much is patently clear here.

SmilingBluEyes, you're not perfect. Of course you would judge your own advice as "sound," because the majority of humans love their own advice.

Your view of your co-workers and young nurses is extremely negative, biased, and generalized, and I'd rather not take that advice for the sake of my own and others' happiness.

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SmilingBluEyes has 20 years experience.

2 Followers; 19,577 Posts; 65,243 Profile Views

Anywho....

Do I believe bullying exists?

Yes I do.

Do I believe it can go from young to old, as well as old to young?

Clearly.

Do I believe it's limited to nursing?

My life and work experience tell me clearly, not. It's all over.

Do I believe the term "bullying" is used inappropriately or over-used?

Definitely. A lot of what goes on is not bullying but that is a buzzword of the day. Hell, even in the military basic training, a trainee can hold up a "time out " card to get their drill instructor to "stop picking on them"

 

Hmmmm wonder if that works in battle or at war.

Likely not.

I hope I have raised/am raising my kids to be critical, independent thinkers who are not afraid to stand up for themselves and recognize bullying when it TRULY exists and act on it as appropriate. Not just for themselves, but in the way of standing up for others and what is right and good.

And I feel for those who have been TRULY bullied, in any profession or at school. I really do.

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My friend, you aren't laughing, you are furious. I say this with a kind heart. You need to get out of any profession with other women. Its not them, its you. Please see someone and stop with the degrees...you have some terrible self hate going on.

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SpookyCat has 5 years experience as a BSN, RN and specializes in OR, Clinic, Med-Surg.

87 Posts; 4,384 Profile Views

I'm sorry but I cannot read a discussion like this and keep silent.

It's okay nrsgofold. There are a lot of snarky people out there. In my darkest moment while in nursing school, I made the mistake of asking for advice on allnurses. I was poked at, chewed up, spit out, and charged with THE HIGHEST TREASON to the profession. I had made a mistake in clinicals. I already felt horrible. The comments on here had me bawling like a baby for 3 days. HEAVEN FORBID WE BE ANYTHING OTHER THAN PERFECT.... Sorry. I'll save that rant for another thread.

One would think that nurses would show a little more comraderie toward one another. When I was a newbie floor nurse I would have been foaming at the mouth for a more seasoned RN to take me under her wing. Then once I made my own way I would have gone out of my way to help her if she ever needed it.

Why are nurses so judgemental and critical of one another? I don't care how stressed I was. I NEVER belittled anyone. I was always the one taking that co-worker, who is having a bad day, aside to make sure he/she's ok.

Why can't nurses accept that fact that we are all human beings and all inherently flawed? No one is perfect. You try your absolute "Type-A Personality" best but you can't be perfect in everything.

Perfect examples of of how wonderful nurses have treated me over time starting with nursing school:

1). They stole our charts/MAR's and hid them so that we couldn't properly take care of our patients, while in nursing school. They just didn't want to deal with us.

2). They watched in silence as my nursing instructor ripped me up one side and down the other for not "paying attention" during report. In reality, I felt rude sitting in a room full of women while they bashed a coworker behind her back. They hadn't even started report yet. They were gossiping (as usual).

3). They say to your face, "how could you be so stupid?" Oh I can never ever forget the wonderful time when someone said, "You are such a disappointment." --- where is the constructiveness in that criticism?

4). I once had a patient fall because he vasovagaled in the bathroom. I was standing beside him, grabbed him under the axilla, (I'm 5'6" and he's 6'2"). Needless to say, his butt hit ground (very gently but because it did I had to write an incident report. No one spoke to me or even looked at me for 2 hours and I was made to feel like the incident was entirely my fault. Turns out, they were Withholding assistance on purpose.

5). I once went to someone I thought was a mentor to ask advice. I got a little watery eyed because it was very serious in nature. She told me that I was being unprofessional and so on and so on.

6). I learned to 'shut up and color' real quick. I was forced to turn very introverted and I used to be quite the opposite. There a lot of strong personalities in nursing. So after being criticized and ridiculed or just plain ignored when trying to make small talk at the nurses station/break room, I just withered away in the background.

7.) I made the mistake of going into the OR. I did love surgeries.... I didn't love the drama. I was constantly ridiculed and compared to another nurse who started a month just before me. I wasn't catching on nearly as quickly as she did. I couldn't understand it either. I was usually pretty good at learning things that I had a drive for... And I wanted to be an OR Nurse BAD.

Long story short I was diagnosed with MS (hence, the difficulty learning with memory loss). There was a staff meeting and my name came up because the housekeepers were asking how my orientation was going. The housekeepers shouldn't know anything unless people are openly gossiping about me!! That other new OR nurse didn't help and would often throw me under the bus as well because it made her look so much more golden!

I loved helping people but Nursing broke my spirit. I see my diagnosis as an open window to a brighter world than I've known in nursing. I'm applying for Grad School to start a Master in Social Work program in the fall. No job is perfect but Maybe there I'll be allowed to be a little bit more myself.

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SpookyCat, that's horrible what you had to go through.

I have been through very similar situations, both on AN and in the clinical setting. So I can really empathize.

Don't let others nonconstructive criticism make you introverted and ashamed of yourself. People who do these kind of things are so unhappy with themselves, that you should look at them with sympathy next time they treat you like this.

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SmilingBluEyes has 20 years experience.

2 Followers; 19,577 Posts; 65,243 Profile Views

And staff BEING mistreated, a horribly common theme in nursing. It's why some environments are too damn toxic.

Maybe because it talks about some thing that is current in nursing? Staff mistreating each other is a common theme in nursing.

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SmilingBluEyes has 20 years experience.

2 Followers; 19,577 Posts; 65,243 Profile Views

I am so sorry for what you have endured. Horrible. I wish you well in your anticipated career as a social worker.

I'm sorry but I cannot read a discussion like this and keep silent.

It's okay nrsgofold. There are a lot of snarky people out there. In my darkest moment while in nursing school, I made the mistake of asking for advice on allnurses. I was poked at, chewed up, spit out, and charged with THE HIGHEST TREASON to the profession. I had made a mistake in clinicals. I already felt horrible. The comments on here had me bawling like a baby for 3 days. HEAVEN FORBID WE BE ANYTHING OTHER THAN PERFECT.... Sorry. I'll save that rant for another thread.

One would think that nurses would show a little more comraderie toward one another. When I was a newbie floor nurse I would have been foaming at the mouth for a more seasoned RN to take me under her wing. Then once I made my own way I would have gone out of my way to help her if she ever needed it.

Why are nurses so judgemental and critical of one another? I don't care how stressed I was. I NEVER belittled anyone. I was always the one taking that co-worker, who is having a bad day, aside to make sure he/she's ok.

Why can't nurses accept that fact that we are all human beings and all inherently flawed? No one is perfect. You try your absolute "Type-A Personality" best but you can't be perfect in everything.

Perfect examples of of how wonderful nurses have treated me over time starting with nursing school:

1). They stole our charts/MAR's and hid them so that we couldn't properly take care of our patients, while in nursing school. They just didn't want to deal with us.

2). They watched in silence as my nursing instructor ripped me up one side and down the other for not "paying attention" during report. In reality, I felt rude sitting in a room full of women while they bashed a coworker behind her back. They hadn't even started report yet. They were gossiping (as usual).

3). They say to your face, "how could you be so stupid?" Oh I can never ever forget the wonderful time when someone said, "You are such a disappointment." --- where is the constructiveness in that criticism?

4). I once had a patient fall because he vasovagaled in the bathroom. I was standing beside him, grabbed him under the axilla, (I'm 5'6" and he's 6'2"). Needless to say, his butt hit ground (very gently but because it did I had to write an incident report. No one spoke to me or even looked at me for 2 hours and I was made to feel like the incident was entirely my fault. Turns out, they were Withholding assistance on purpose.

5). I once went to someone I thought was a mentor to ask advice. I got a little watery eyed because it was very serious in nature. She told me that I was being unprofessional and so on and so on.

6). I learned to 'shut up and color' real quick. I was forced to turn very introverted and I used to be quite the opposite. There a lot of strong personalities in nursing. So after being criticized and ridiculed or just plain ignored when trying to make small talk at the nurses station/break room, I just withered away in the background.

7.) I made the mistake of going into the OR. I did love surgeries.... I didn't love the drama. I was constantly ridiculed and compared to another nurse who started a month just before me. I wasn't catching on nearly as quickly as she did. I couldn't understand it either. I was usually pretty good at learning things that I had a drive for... And I wanted to be an OR Nurse BAD.

Long story short I was diagnosed with MS (hence, the difficulty learning with memory loss). There was a staff meeting and my name came up because the housekeepers were asking how my orientation was going. The housekeepers shouldn't know anything unless people are openly gossiping about me!! That other new OR nurse didn't help and would often throw me under the bus as well because it made her look so much more golden!

I loved helping people but Nursing broke my spirit. I see my diagnosis as an open window to a brighter world than I've known in nursing. I'm applying for Grad School to start a Master in Social Work program in the fall. No job is perfect but Maybe there I'll be allowed to be a little bit more myself.

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9 Posts; 579 Profile Views

Please do not dismiss others thoughts so callously. I would say that your attitude is definitely a prime example of what others have to put up with in any job.

Edited by hillbillienurse
misspelled

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SnowShoeRN has 10 years experience and specializes in Family Medicine, Tele/Cardiac, Camp.

468 Posts; 16,920 Profile Views

Please do not dismiss others thoughts so callously. I would say that your attitude is definitely a prime example of what others have to put up with in any job.

Please use the "quote" button at the bottom of the comment box you want to respond to. Otherwise, we don't know who you are addressing. Thank you.

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