When the NCLEX Pearson Vue Trick Goes Wrong

Ethan, Regular Nurse

Gather 'round, boys and girls, and allow me to tell you a story.

An unparalleled tale of exhaustion.

A regalement of courage.

A dirge of loss.

May it serve to protect you from the evils that may befall you, should you follow in my footsteps. May it guide you through life with the utmost caution, a warning to stir fear into the hearts of the bravest of men. May it be a reminder that lady fortune does not smile upon us all; to some she cackles madly.

A few weeks ago, I took my NCLEX. Like all Russians named Ethan in our nursing class, I waited to study until the night prior to the exam. Arriving at the testing center, I felt confident - the confidence that only a lack of preparation and a blissful ignorance could provide.

I began the exam soon enough, going through the mountain of select-all-that-apply questions with the fury of a thousand suns. I will beat this exam, I thought to myself as the nursing gods laughed and laughed. I was ready for the dreaded question 75. It came soon enough.

And went.

Ok, no big deal; twenty-five more, I thought. I can do this.

When the questions continued after the hundredth, I was a Bond martini: shaken, but not yet stirred.

Every five questions brought with them an expectation of a cutoff.

And every five questions were a mocking lie, an affront to all I knew was true in this life.

By question 183, I was resigned to my fate. This is my life now, I thought. I will answer questions until the end of time. This is how it's always been. This is how it ends.

After 200, I do not know what happened or how I answered. I returned to conscious test taking at around 240, and then again at what was apparently my final question.

That's when it happened.

The screen flashed, it was over. I was free to return to my life.

I had a wife. I had a child. I remembered now. The nursing gods took pity on my soul and showed me their twisted mercy by giving the eternal exam an end.

The moral here is not to study more, no. That was merely a prelude to my forthcoming misfortune.

I was exhausted. I paid for the NCLEX with every IQ point I may have possessed. I was lost in a labyrinth - the walls of which were composed of the corpses of what were once my brain cells. They fought valiantly, I assure the survivors. They will be remembered.

I need to know if I passed as soon as possible, I thought, in my delirious state.

I asked several reputable sources if the "Pearson Vue trick" worked and received a majority response to the affirmative.

"Do it," says Matt, my classmate, my coworker, my personal Sith Lord. I convinced him earlier to try it and the website wouldn't let him register, indicating a positive result.

So I began the process, sending him a screenshot to see if I was doing it right. He nodded, as much as one can nod via text message. I completed my order.

It let me register, indicating I failed. This means my orientation is halted and the classes that were already scheduled for this fall would have to be delayed an entire semester.

I tell him that I failed, that the registration went through, and that I paid $100 to the board of nursing to find out.

He tells me I'm on the wrong website.

"My wife and I are laughing," he texts back, in gentle consolation, "thanks for that."

In the wake of my exam, I paid the wrong people and now I have to try to get that money back. I call the number the BON website gives me, to no avail. They're closed; business hours are 0800-1700.

I try the following day at 0800, before my software orientation starts. I'm put on hold for 20 minutes but have to hang up. I try again and hold for 10 minutes on my lunch break, decide that I liked having a social life during lunch, and hang up again. When I get home, I call again, this time holding for 40 minutes, and finally someone answered, just when I had forgotten I was on a call. I must submit a refund request via email, they say, which could take up to ten days to process. If approved, they'll send something in the mail.

So to recap: I called them only to be told to write an email and possibly receive a response via the post office; the people handling the request are clearly the model of efficiency.

At this point, not only do I not know how I did, but I'm down an extra $100.

I did, however, try the real Pearson Vue trick and can confirm that it worked for me. Luckily, I was spared another extra payment.

To those taking the NCLEX soon, I wish you the best of luck. You will basically be brain-dead after that exam - it's not the hardest test, just tedious (especially when a third to a half of your 265 questions are SATA).

If you remember anything from this ill-fated story, let it be this: when you try the "Pearson Vue trick," make sure you are actually on the Pearson Vue website. You would think that would require no thought, but be wary: the NCLEX can be both cruel and unusual. It pillages your brain and destroys your ability to reason.

So the moral of my story is this, my fellow Nightingales: Don't make financial decisions immediately after every question on the NCLEX.

When the NCLEX Pearson Vue Trick Goes Wrong

About Ethan, Regular Nurse

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