When good vent threads go bad.....

Nurses General Nursing

Published

2 days ago, a thread that promised to get interesting went south and got locked, and other recent threads could end up that way if they go south. Within the last 6 months, some others nearly ended up the same way. This is a good place to vent and share stories about PITA pts./family members, and share coping strategies on how to deal with the nonsense. It's possible for people to respectfully debate and disagree without letting personal attacks shut down a good thread. (I've even respectfully disagreed with a moderator.)

But there really is no need to bash people who vent, especially when there are multiple threads on the same subject, indicating that what people are venting about is a widespread problem. (Maybe someday, Allnurses.com will have a PITA pt./family member forum of its own.)

Society has changed a lot over the years. It used to be that people respected nurses and treated them with respect. Now, there are more and more people with the "Burger King" selfish entitlement mentality. They want what they want when they want it----right NOW!! They don't care or think about other peoples well-being or feelings as long as they get what they want when they want it, and to heck with everyone else.

The healthcare industry has changed a lot over the years. Now, instead of focusing on peoples health needs (anyone remember the Quiet-Hospital Zone signs?), they focus on "customer service" to attract profits. And the "customer service" focus feeds into peoples attitude of selfish entitlement, instead of setting limits on behaviors that compromise other peoples health and safety.

This scares me, since I have family members who could come to harm because a selfish entitled person bullies the nurse so much with their ridiculous demands and drama, that the nurse doesn't get a chance to check on my family member in time to catch something serious and maybe save their life.

Years ago, there were no specific laws against assaulting healthcare workers like there are now, and there should be laws like this for all healthcare workers. Years ago, no one thought about the need for metal detectors in the ER or hospital, now they are in some facilities and they are badly needed.

There is a shortage of nurses willing to put up with abuse, and it's only going to get worse unless the healthcare industry gets their priorities straight and holds people responsible for their own behavior instead of blaming it on how a nurse "presents herself". Years ago, a woman in an abusive relationship had little resources and protection (and got blamed for the abuse). Now, they do; and nurses should have the same resources and protection also.

Therapeutic communication does help with pts. that are scared, angry, etc. most of the time. It won't help with people that have selfish entitled personalities who don't care about life-threatening emergencies, since their own "wants" are far more important to them than someone elses health or life.

I truly think that if "customer service" and "have it your way" is the future of healthcare, then heaven help us all as we get older and need healthcare.

Specializes in OB.
You're being logical again; people often don't want advice, they want affirmation....:)

I wish that when that is what people want they would just say so, not ask for advice then get indignant.

(I've been known to tell my family on occasion "I don't want you to fix anything right now, I just want an "Oh, poor baby" for a little while). After a bit of sympathy, then I'm ready for sensible thinking.

Specializes in ICU/Critical Care.
You're being logical again; people often don't want advice, they want affirmation....:)

I probably am.

I particularly hate threads where people ask for advice. We give it and then they do the exact opposite of the advice we gave. Like in another thread where a nurse was asked to wrtie a statement about her faults and why she was having to leave a unit to go to another unit. She decided to write the letter even though many people expressed concern about her "hanging herself out to dry'. Then she responds that we are being harsh when she finds out that we're upset.

and then, we're accused of eating our young!!!

oy.:smackingf

gives me a headache...

leslie

On the recent vent threads that I have seen go bad due to certain posters, it seems that their purpose IS to center attention on themselves and become the focal point of those threads. They seem to thrive on the negative feedback and ire they create.

Some of them I've noticed are older nurses who haven't worked on the floor for years and have missed out on the changes. That's why I posted the thread that I did.

Some of them I've noticed are older nurses who haven't worked on the floor for years and have missed out on the changes. That's why I posted the thread that I did.

One in particular is and the posted stories sound very, very familiar, like from threads a few years back under a different name.

Specializes in LTC, Med/Surg, Peds, ICU, Tele.

How did I miss this thread? I have been distracted the past few days. All I can say is "Right on Sister SqueakyKitty!" I totally agree with every word you said.

Specializes in LTC, Med/Surg, Peds, ICU, Tele.

With the family dynamics we have in the hospital we need to take care of the pt. and the family and sometimes it takes a "village" to please a PITA. :banghead:

What a great line!!!:up:

Specializes in LTC, Med/Surg, Peds, ICU, Tele.
On the recent vent threads that I have seen go bad due to certain posters, it seems that their purpose IS to center attention on themselves and become the focal point of those threads. They seem to thrive on the negative feedback and ire they create.

I have noticed this as well. Good point...:up:

we need to be able to vent i've just spent 3 night dutys dealing with a patient who has chronic pain issues. he demands attention every shift it a new problem of what worng with him, the ward already thinks thats he will put a complaint in towards the medical staff and various others teams involved in his care. its hard to deal with when you have poorly and the man has such a negative attitude to care providers.

One in particular is and the posted stories sound very, very familiar, like from threads a few years back under a different name.

As much as I've read the older threads, I completely missed this. Maybe I'm looking in the wrong places.

Having born the brunt of the ire of some poster when I gave an opinion in several threads, all I can say is the truth hurts too many people and their egos.

It's like several other posters have said, if you ask for an opinion, you have to be able to read the replies, both the favourable and the unfavourable.

Vents are another issue. You blow off steam on the internet. You don't go out binge shopping, kick the cat, or scream at your spouse. Hell, most just want to get it off their chests.

Specializes in Med-Surg, Psych.
I've also noticed here on allnurses.com that people who respond on vent threads are pretty honest. If they think the OP needs to reflect on their own actions then they tell them. This is good, I think face to face we do tend to say 'oh you poor thing' to a persons face rather than 'maybe you should think about your own attitude' because it is a bit too confronting.

Respectfully suggesting that an OP reflects on their actions is fine, its the character bashing and superior tone that gets on my nerves which unfortunately happens way too often on this forum. Responders need to remember that they do not know the OP or all the pertinent details.

I particularly hate threads where people ask for advice. We give it and then they do the exact opposite of the advice we gave. Like in another thread where a nurse was asked to wrtie a statement about her faults and why she was having to leave a unit to go to another unit. She decided to write the letter even though many people expressed concern about her "hanging herself out to dry'. Then she responds that we are being harsh when she finds out that we're upset. I don't get it. If you ask for advice and 90% of the response says not to do something, don't do it!

If an OP gets advice and chooses to make an unpopular choice, that is their perogative and they have to live with any possible unfortunate circumstances. I personally am becoming more selective who I give advice to, as often people don't take it seriously and then I feel I've wasted my time.

+ Add a Comment