When good vent threads go bad.....

Nurses General Nursing

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2 days ago, a thread that promised to get interesting went south and got locked, and other recent threads could end up that way if they go south. Within the last 6 months, some others nearly ended up the same way. This is a good place to vent and share stories about PITA pts./family members, and share coping strategies on how to deal with the nonsense. It's possible for people to respectfully debate and disagree without letting personal attacks shut down a good thread. (I've even respectfully disagreed with a moderator.)

But there really is no need to bash people who vent, especially when there are multiple threads on the same subject, indicating that what people are venting about is a widespread problem. (Maybe someday, Allnurses.com will have a PITA pt./family member forum of its own.)

Society has changed a lot over the years. It used to be that people respected nurses and treated them with respect. Now, there are more and more people with the "Burger King" selfish entitlement mentality. They want what they want when they want it----right NOW!! They don't care or think about other peoples well-being or feelings as long as they get what they want when they want it, and to heck with everyone else.

The healthcare industry has changed a lot over the years. Now, instead of focusing on peoples health needs (anyone remember the Quiet-Hospital Zone signs?), they focus on "customer service" to attract profits. And the "customer service" focus feeds into peoples attitude of selfish entitlement, instead of setting limits on behaviors that compromise other peoples health and safety.

This scares me, since I have family members who could come to harm because a selfish entitled person bullies the nurse so much with their ridiculous demands and drama, that the nurse doesn't get a chance to check on my family member in time to catch something serious and maybe save their life.

Years ago, there were no specific laws against assaulting healthcare workers like there are now, and there should be laws like this for all healthcare workers. Years ago, no one thought about the need for metal detectors in the ER or hospital, now they are in some facilities and they are badly needed.

There is a shortage of nurses willing to put up with abuse, and it's only going to get worse unless the healthcare industry gets their priorities straight and holds people responsible for their own behavior instead of blaming it on how a nurse "presents herself". Years ago, a woman in an abusive relationship had little resources and protection (and got blamed for the abuse). Now, they do; and nurses should have the same resources and protection also.

Therapeutic communication does help with pts. that are scared, angry, etc. most of the time. It won't help with people that have selfish entitled personalities who don't care about life-threatening emergencies, since their own "wants" are far more important to them than someone elses health or life.

I truly think that if "customer service" and "have it your way" is the future of healthcare, then heaven help us all as we get older and need healthcare.

Specializes in ICU, Telemetry.

:rotfl:

***wondering if we can get elephant "stickies" to put on the charts of PITA patients as a warning to the next nurse***

Specializes in ER/EHR Trainer.

I love this forum:redbeathe Great opening statement...it should be printed and handed out to all our peers and administrations!

Threads that go bad....there's a surprise. Sometimes we forget it's a vent, and really want the OP to see, it's not US(whoever us is), they just are in a bad situation and problem would never exist if it was US.

Sometimes, during our convincing, it gets out of control.. Or, sometimes we just try VERY HARD to explain why OP IS WRONG:D

Just my :twocents:

Maisy:redbeathe

Or, sometimes we just try VERY HARD to explain why OP IS WRONG:D

Maisy:redbeathe

heh...

*snort*

leslie

this is not directed to the op on this post but in a general way

MAISY, most people don't want to be told they are wrong, they just want the 'oh, you poor little thing, that was just awful'

Specializes in ER/EHR Trainer.
this is not directed to the op on this post but in a general way

MAISY, most people don't want to be told they are wrong, they just want the 'oh, you poor little thing, that was just awful'

It's just one of those things...if you lived your whole life in the southwest, never saw the northeast....fall (season)would have a very different meaning to you...you may argue that it was impossible for it to be coldish, see leaves turn into an artist's palette, or that fall was very different from summer. But it is!

I think that's when our vents go bad....we(responders) try to convince someone of something for which they may have no comparison or experience, in some cases-they DO NOT appear to be interested in learning...just expressing their under/uneducated opinions.:D

Who knows? JMHO as always.:redbeathe

Maisy

Specializes in ICU, Telemetry.

Ditto. If you've seen someone doing jumping jacks to get their next fix (abdominal pain and you're doing jumping jacks?) it's hard to believe people automatically.There's a woman who goes up and down I85 stopping at every hospital with a "blue H" on the interstate telling folks she's a cancer pt and out of pain meds -- gets 14 mg of morphine in our ER, hits the floor wanting more, tells us she's had both breasts removed, a kidney removed, etc., and we get her to the room and suddenly this person who couldn't move d/t pain wants us out of the room to change -- I told her no, she'd had too much morphine and was a fall risk. I'm thinking she's just ashamed of her body, etc., -- well, she's got two intact breasts, and no surgical scars on her anywhere. Now, I've never heard of someone getting a kidney removed via lady parts or colon, so I call the ER doc and ask him if he actually visualized the pt -- especially the wrist band from the LAST hospital she stopped at. He's PO'd because her tox screen just came back positive for ALL options.

He call the last hospital, she was just there 3 hrs prior to us, got 10 mg morphine from them, left AMA. This ER doc was new, and our regular ER doc shows up and knows about her immediately -- this is how this woman gets drugs -- she goes to small community hospitals, does her "I have cancer" spiel, gets narcotics, and leaves AMA. She tries to leave AMA from us when we tell her there will be no more narcotics, and the doc calls the cops, who meet her at the door and tell her she came in with a postive tox screen, so she's going to jail for DWI.

I mean, this woman got 24 mg of morphine IV inside 10 hours. How was she still breathing!!!??

I mean, this woman got 24 mg of morphine IV inside 10 hours. How was she still breathing!!!??

Ah, tolerance. Isn't it a lovely thing? I hate the seekers with high tolerance - it's so hard to shut them up! But some people come by it honestly - I had a young man once s/p wisdom teeth extraction --> infection --> osteomyelitis --> several jaw surgeries. Lengthy hospital stay, lots of PCA morphine. In fact, he had more than 400 (not a typo - that's four hundred) mg of IV morphine in one shift alone! His concentration was so high that each 30 ml PCA syringe had 300mg in it - I changed it right after I got there, and again before I left. I think he was at something like 424 mg for my shift. And he was A&O x 4, walkie talkie, pulse ox high 90s, etc. That kid, such a nice kid, is totally screwed if he ever ends up in the hospital with pain again - nobody will believe he is telling the truth with a tolerance like that - I'm sure he'll be branded as a seeker if they don't know his history!

Specializes in ICU, Telemetry.

Holy crow. 400?!

Yeah, and that's the ones I feel sorry for, the folks who have had a traumatic injury, or surgeries where they've had to be on high power pain killers. I had a woman who had a tree fall on her, shattered her pelvis, broke both femurs, almost killed her. She was getting drugs like crazy, but she was burning thru them d/t the pain. If she ever has anything else bad happen, it's going to be hard to control her pain -- of course, the roadmap of scars across her abdomen and legs are going to tell the tale when she comes in again, too, but I just felt bad for her.

BTW, lesson learned from her: if your husband is cutting down a tree and says, "oh, honey, you don't need to move, it's okay, the tree won't drop anywhere near you or the house" -- go to the grocery store. The grocery store in the next county.

I know. It was insane. If I hadn't seen it with my own eyes, I would have said it was impossible. But then, there is no ceiling dose for opiods, and the more you go through, the more you need. Sad is the only way I can describe it.

Specializes in Operating Room Nursing.

I think that having a good vent here helps me because there are times when you can't deal with a particular problem at work and you go home feeling frustrated and angry and need to let it out. My partner is not a nurse and doesn't understand my working environment, here we all have an idea of some of the common problems in nurse and can share experiences.

I've also noticed here on allnurses.com that people who respond on vent threads are pretty honest. If they think the OP needs to reflect on their own actions then they tell them. This is good, I think face to face we do tend to say 'oh you poor thing' to a persons face rather than 'maybe you should think about your own attitude' because it is a bit too confronting.

If people are unable to understand our need to vent and share our frustrations/challenges here then perhaps they should avoid the venting threads. Not all of us can go through our nursing careers tolerating abuse from patients, doctors relatives etc smiling serenely.

Specializes in ICU/Critical Care.

I particularly hate threads where people ask for advice. We give it and then they do the exact opposite of the advice we gave. Like in another thread where a nurse was asked to wrtie a statement about her faults and why she was having to leave a unit to go to another unit. She decided to write the letter even though many people expressed concern about her "hanging herself out to dry'. Then she responds that we are being harsh when she finds out that we're upset. I don't get it. If you ask for advice and 90% of the response says not to do something, don't do it!

Specializes in ICU, Telemetry.
I particularly hate threads where people ask for advice. We give it and then they do the exact opposite of the advice we gave.

You're being logical again; people often don't want advice, they want affirmation....:)

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