When a child dies - what makes nurses incredible.

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Specializes in A and E, Medicine, Surgery.

There is no such thing as an average day at the office in our world but when a child dies it affects every single person working in the department. It means that every nurse has to dig deep and this post is to my team of nurses but also to every nurse that has made a difference...........

To my nurses,

Today you made me very proud.

I know that when you took the pre-alert and heard that a paediatric arrest was coming in that the first thing you felt was terror and your stomach turned to ice. I heard you quietly say "Please God, no" but you still stayed professional and took all the details necessary. When you came off the phone all you needed to say was we have a paed arrest coming and that was enough for your colleagues to be running.

I saw that this child mattered, when your hand shook whilst getting the drugs drawn up. Normally when we are preparing for a pre-alert there is chatter but today each of you were in your own bubble focussed on making sure that everything possible was ready in order to give this child a fighting chance.

I know each and every one of you felt the huge weight of responsibility you were about to encounter and I said as I always do in these circumstances. "It's ok, you all know what to do, just keep your heads and remember that whatever we feel the parents will be feeling a thousand times more. Make me proud guys".

I know that when the paramedics ran in with the child in their arms and we saw that little foot that each and every one of you thought about your children, or siblings or niece and nephews and desperately wanted to make things right. Yet that thought didn't stop or slow you it propelled you all into action. You all did what you needed to do effectively, calmly and respectfully. You talked to the child, calling him by his name, encouraging him to fight with us. You remembered your training and things ran like clockwork.

I know how much each and every one of you cared. When we all knew it was futile we carried on that bit longer each of you thinking "just in case". I know that every one of you wished you could make it yesterday or any other day and the family could simply be just another ordinary family.

I thank you for the compassion and kindness you showed to the child's parents, who were so young and bewildered . I understand how hard it was when Dad was shouting and screaming telling us how useless we all were and that we had killed his child. You recognised that it was just grief and allowed him to rage until he calmed and then sobbed. Equally you didn't judge his mother who stood impassively watching us, you knew that it wasn't because she didn't care, but that in fact she cared to much and just could not take in the enormity of what was happening.

I looked at you all working away, and whilst I know age is in some ways irrelevant, not one of you was aged over 30 and yet you conducted yourself with such maturity.

I saw you tears when you hugged the family and know that they were for the precious child and also the family whose lives will never be the same.

I thank you from the bottom of my heart for the gentleness and dignity that you continued to afford to the child.

I know that you fully understood the magnitude of the parent's walking out of the door leaving their precious baby with us. Each of you were thinking that whatever happens in the future their lives will never be the same and each of you reflected on the pain the family were going through. I know that at this point it was the time that most of you let the emotions you had been holding onto go and as I gave you a hug I knew that today's experience will change you.

I know a little piece of your heart broke as you did it but thankyou for carrying the child down to the chapel of rest and making sure he was warm and tucked up just like mum had asked you to.

I realise that many of you will go home and hug your loved one's much harder tonight and some of you will call me trying to make sense of what happened. I will say what I always say "we cannot make sense or understand what has happened the only thing we can do is take some comfort in knowing that we did the best darn job we could and although that doesn't change the outcome it gives the parents and ourselves some comfort.

I know my nurses that you all think I have big shoulders and affectionately call me old mother time. I know that you know that I have dealt with far too many children dying but after you have all gone home and everything is done and my shift over I take myself into the Sister's office, shut the door and have a long good cry. Each and everyone of these children leaves a footprint in my heart.

I hope and pray that I have been your rock today and that I have sent you off knowing that you did an incdredible job, and that I am so proud of each and every one of you. Nurses are amazing and that should never get lost.

So once again,

You proud, emotional, tired, nurse in charge

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Specializes in ER.

Bless you!

What makes nurses incredible? Nurses like you and your coworkers.

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God Bless you and your team. Said a prayer for your nurses and the family.

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Wow! Very touching.

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wow that sent shivers up and down my spine............... bless u and your team for the work that u do! :redpinkhe

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Specializes in Med/Surge, Psych, LTC, Home Health.

Wow. Thank you so much for what you and your team do, each and every day. As a mother of two little ones, if anything happened to them, I would trust them in your hands any day!

Thanks! :redpinkhe

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Specializes in Emergency, CCU, SNF.

That was very sweet and heartfelt, I can't imagine the things you and your staff must go through.

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WOW, this was a very heartfelt and a amazing story (made me cry). Bless you and your team of Nurses for the amazing work you all do. I will say a prayer for the family.

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Specializes in A myriad of specialties.

What a powerfully touching message. As a nurse who has lost a child(and believe me we NEVER get over such a loss), I respect those who can work in an area in which loss of a child does occur and with some frequency. I could never do it. Thanks to ALL of you for ALL that you do. That MUST be the hardest kind of nursing.

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Specializes in Critical Care; Cardiac; Professional Development.

As the mother of a child who is gone after having him for 13 years....and now a nursing student.....just...thank you.:redpinkhe

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THANKYOU their is lots more I would like to say but right now simply thankyou

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Specializes in A and E, Medicine, Surgery.

Midwest4me and gentlywind, I am so so sorry for your loss and truly hope that this post has not opened any old wounds but THANKYOU for your words, I cannot tell you how much they mean.

Can I add that I have nothing but admiration and deep respect for anyone who has lost a child then gone on to nurse.

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