What's the weirdest thing management has said to you?

[monkeybug]

Based on the thank you card thread, what's the most bizarre thing said to you by management or administration? I can think of a few that will always stand out in my mind.

When discussing our patient satisfaction surveys, our manager told me in a staff meeting, "Monkeybug, a patient would much rather have a nice nurse than a smart one. They don't care how smart you are, it doesn't matter. The "little things" are what matter! In fact, a family probably wouldn't care if you killed a patient if you were a really sweet nurse." My reply was rather colorful, and culminated with me saying, "give me the smart ***** any day if I'm the patient."

I had a negative survey once because the patient had rolling veins. The patient's comment was that I should have kept this from happening. I asked manager how I was to do this, for future reference. "Well, of course, you can't control rolling veins. But I'm sure if you just apologized enough, you wouldn't get these negative comments!" (my only negative that quarter, but enough of an issue to get called to the office)

[anotherone, BSN, RN]

we always get those comments. other gems are along the same lines

[classicdame, MSN, EdD]

we were told once to not call into the patient's room if their favorite show was on. Really?

[monkeybug]

we were told once to not call into the patient's room if their favorite show was on. Really?

And how are you to know that? Is their favorite show part of the admission assessment?

[Morainey, BSN, RN]

You should have been able to answer all of those urology patient's questions about their urologic problems, meds, diagnostic tests, and urologist, even though you don't work on a urology floor. They were very frustrated. (my inner monologue: SO WAS I!!!)

[liveyourlife747]

Management has encouraged us to go take walks on our lunch breaks, um yea like we have the time to leave the floor and go outside to walk around the track. Plus they didn't understand that our unit phones don't work outside the hospital, so we would be unavailable in the event of an emergency with our pt.

[RunninOnCoffee]

Our NIH policy is to do a handoff NIH with the on/off going nurse doing it together. THe NIH assessments had been Q4. The first NIH I did I charted the NIH scale. The next day I am in line to pick up my son from school and the hospital calls telling me I didn't complete the stroke charting and need to come back to finish it. I let the mgr know that I had in fact done the stroke scale. She's said she saw that, but I didn't write the note that I completed it. So my response was "So I have to chart that I charted?" Yup.... we now have to chart that we charted.... makes lots of sense to me! I guess they just want it recorded that the 2 nurses did it together??

[KelRN215, BSN, RN]

"The hospital always errs on the employee's side"... A lie told to me by management attempting to explain why I wouldn't be getting paid for the extra hour I worked on the fall back night in 2011.

[monkeybug]

I remembered another nutty thing the same manager said. At a staff meeting we were discussing the fact that 99% of the time we did not get a lunch break. At best, you might get to gulp down a few bites on the way through the nurses station. A nurse had finally gone to HR about it. HR told us to clock a "no lunch.". Manager said we should just think about a day when we didn't have a patient, or maybe got an entire hour, and "it would all even out." Excuse me, but it does not. I am not allowed to run to Target if I don't happen to have a patient. That time is not my own. I asked her what the Labor Board would say about her theory (it is such a pain when one of the nurses you are trying to screw is a lawyer!). We got an email shortly thereafter stating that we should write out a "no lunch" on the clocking error sheet.

[monkeybug]

"The hospital always errs on the employee's side"... A lie told to me by management attempting to explain why I wouldn't be getting paid for the extra hour I worked on the fall back night in 2011.

We never got paid, either, but it was okay (to management) because those that worked the spring forward got paid 8 hours. Never mind that it was not always the same nurses.

[Testa Rosa, RN]

We had a really mean pt on our oncology unit. I was told she was a very intelligent and articulate woman who was in denial for a long time and who was now trying to blame the medical establishment for her life limiting cancer. She was leaving the unit for daily radiation tx. Lucky for me I never was assigned to her during her two or three brief stays with us. Next door to her was my sweet, simple pt--a frequent flier who had life limiting colon cancer. She was on heavy amounts of Dilauded and was a bit of a scatterbrained to begin with.

She would leave the unit frequently with IV pole in tow to visit the vending machines or people watch in the lobby. Upon returning, My scatter brain sweat-heart pt passed me by at the front desk establishing it would be another hour before she could have her PRN Dilauded/Benedryl combo. She left me and went out of sight down the hall where she settled into the wrong room, sitting on the edge of the bed of the mean pt who started to pitch a fit on the level you've never heard/seen before when she returned with her transport team who had already been yelled at several times for various things. Needless to say they disappeared as soon as they could so she leashed a full fury attack on my sweet pt--throwing racial slurs and just saying the meanest things.

My pt had barely sat down and didn't touch anything, still we remade the bed and obtained a new meal tray. We arranged for a flower delivery. We even wiped all surfaces down with Sani Wipes and called housekeeping to clean the restroom. Mean Lady berated me the whole time to her own nurse who she also treated badly.

While I and the other nurse attempted to do "service recovery" on the mean pt. (and I kindly asked the relief nurse to settle my crying pt into her own room and pull some Ativan early for her based on a phone order I had just obtained), my manager pulled me aside and said she would be writing me up for not preventing my pt from going into the wrong room. That I should have been rounding frequently enough to have noticed my pt was in the wrong room.

So tell me, I asked, how would I know my frequently ambulating/restless pt had settled into the room covered by another nurse? She told me that I should been a good enough nurse to have prevented the situation. Hmmm, I thought to myself, no amount of "good nursing" was going to prevent an honest mistake from happening that was totally unrelated to my nursing care. Am I right?

[SleeepyRN]

Our NIH policy is to do a handoff NIH with the on/off going nurse doing it together. THe NIH assessments had been Q4. The first NIH I did I charted the NIH scale. The next day I am in line to pick up my son from school and the hospital calls telling me I didn't complete the stroke charting and need to come back to finish it. I let the mgr know that I had in fact done the stroke scale. She's said she saw that, but I didn't write the note that I completed it. So my response was "So I have to chart that I charted?" Yup.... we now have to chart that we charted.... makes lots of sense to me! I guess they just want it recorded that the 2 nurses did it together??

Chart. That. You. Charted??? Sorry, I had to repeat this slowly hoping it would make sense (sarcasm) Insanity I tell you!!!