What's the weirdest thing management has said to you?

[monkeybug]

Based on the thank you card thread, what's the most bizarre thing said to you by management or administration? I can think of a few that will always stand out in my mind.

When discussing our patient satisfaction surveys, our manager told me in a staff meeting, "Monkeybug, a patient would much rather have a nice nurse than a smart one. They don't care how smart you are, it doesn't matter. The "little things" are what matter! In fact, a family probably wouldn't care if you killed a patient if you were a really sweet nurse." My reply was rather colorful, and culminated with me saying, "give me the smart ***** any day if I'm the patient."

I had a negative survey once because the patient had rolling veins. The patient's comment was that I should have kept this from happening. I asked manager how I was to do this, for future reference. "Well, of course, you can't control rolling veins. But I'm sure if you just apologized enough, you wouldn't get these negative comments!" (my only negative that quarter, but enough of an issue to get called to the office)

[Kittypower123, BSN, RN]

I work in LTC and our administrator told us that our facility should be comparable to a nice hotel. Really? I've never been to a nice hotel that had staff to toilet me, get me up and dressed in the morning and undressed and in bed in the evening, managed my medications and treatments, showered me, fed me and monitored my condition.

[JDZ344]

We never got paid, either, but it was okay (to management) because those that worked the spring forward got paid 8 hours. Never mind that it was not always the same nurses.

That's the rubbish they try to pull here, too. And then we got smart. We calculated the spring forward date and all who worked the fall back requested to work that night to make sure we got what we were owed.

[redhead_NURSE98!, ADN, BSN]

"The committee meeting is at 11:30 so you can just clock out for lunch and go to the meeting."

"......Do you want me to go to clock out and go to lunch, or go to the meeting? Those are the choices."

[Orca, ADN, ASN, RN]

I always loved it when our administration at a rehab hospital where I once worked told us to give certain rich/famous patients the "VIP treatment". On one occasion I cared for a Hollywood celebrity (whose name you would immediately recognize). I was told by the facility administrator to "take special care of her". I informed him that all my patients get the best care I can give them.

[JDZ344]

I always loved it when our administration at a rehab hospital where I once worked told us to give certain rich/famous patients the "VIP treatment". On one occasion I cared for a Hollywood celebrity (whose name you would immediately recognize). I was told by the facility administrator to "take special care of her". I informed him that all my patients get the best care I can give them.

That's crazy!

[RNsRWe, ASN, RN]

I, too, remember being a new charge nurse and being told by my unit manager that the reason I was so stressed was because I didn't take my breaks/meal breaks! I had told her I COULDN'T take them because my whole staff was new, I was new to charge, and each of us always had more patients than we could realistically handle. WHEN was I supposed to take these magical rejuvenating breaks?

Her answer: Oh, you simply have to leave the floor--take a walk outside in the parking lot. Take a walk down the street (keep in mind it's nightshift and in a bad section of town!!).

Me: Ok, you want me to take a mental break, I get it, but....WHEN? Do you have a float nurse to cover all of my staff and me for our breaks?

Her: No, you don't need coverage. You just tell the others you are taking ten or fifteen minutes off the floor, and then you GO.

Me: Hmm.....really? I should just pick myself up and leave? What about the fact that my staff won't POSSIBLY have time to keep an eye on my patients as well as theirs? And that *I* don't have time to watch their patients while THEY are taking a ten-minute romp in the parking lot??

Her: You can ask the nursing supervisor to cover you.

Me: Really? The same nursing supervisor that keeps slamming me with admissions and doesn't have enough time to help start a difficult IV.....she's supposed to cover me for every break I need, every shift?

Her: Don't make a big deal about it. Just go.

Me: Can't wait for THAT lawsuit. No, thanks for the suggestions, but I think I'll have to stick with slowly losing my sanity in order to keep my patients safe. Your way, though, is sure a NIFTY idea....

[RNsRWe, ASN, RN]

On the same note, management once sent a memo around that a patient had a "difficult family" and we should basically bend over backwards to give the patient and family what they wanted. (not in those exact words, but that was pretty much what was implied). Lo and behold- family arrive. "Mum needs more pillows".

Management: "Get her more pillows"

Me: "The only pillows we have are under patients. I am NOT taking them away from one person to give to another to stop her family complaining".

OMG, I remember a scenario like this....except it wasn't a complaining family, it was the fact that there simply weren't enough pillows on my med-surg/ortho floor. Every patient had at least one or two pillows, some had more to prop various body parts.

Nurses complained to management that we were reduced to rolling up sheets and towels to try to form props until of course we RAN OUT of THOSE items. Their answer? We should be more efficient in our use of hospital supplies and equipment so we wouldn't be out of them when we needed them! Never mind that we weren't using the pillows to build play forts, they were used ON the patients.

Never understood that thinking: if they GIVE us the equipment we need, we'll somehow be ungrateful and therefore misuse the stuff....and then we'd want more. Seriously? :-/

[monkeybug]

"The committee meeting is at 11:30 so you can just clock out for lunch and go to the meeting."

"......Do you want me to go to clock out and go to lunch, or go to the meeting? Those are the choices."

The only thing I clock out to do is GO HOME! If they want me doing something, they can pay me to do it.

[OnlybyHisgraceRN, ASN, RN]

" I don't tolerate bullying on this unit". Just the complete opposite.

[lemur00, BSN, RN]

On the same note, management once sent a memo around that a patient had a "difficult family" and we should basically bend over backwards to give the patient and family what they wanted. (not in those exact words, but that was pretty much what was implied). Lo and behold- family arrive. "Mum needs more pillows".

Management: "Get her more pillows"

Me: "The only pillows we have are under patients. I am NOT taking them away from one person to give to another to stop her family complaining".

Yep. That's the management I used to work under. Meetings with union reps and the whole deal to discuss the "problem" of making a patient wait for five minutes to have pillows fluffed or some silly thing because we had the nerve to attend to others' more pressing needs first. Reminding us we're supposed to be committed to "patient centred care" and why couldn't we just do what the unreasonable demanding patient and family want all the time so they don't call them to complain?

Because A) The demands are HUMANLY IMPOSSIBLE to meet and the pt/family would not be satisfied even if we could do it B) we need to set appropriate boundaries and should not be rewarding behaviour that we supposedly have a "zero tolerance" policy on, C) "patient centred care" doesn't mean the entire facility revolves around that one patient or family and D) I have 40 other patients who are NOT less important just because they are physically or cognitively incapable of phoning you and whining.

Having said that, I almost never got called in for these "meetings".

[PMFB-RN, RN]

If you call out sick and don't have a note, even for just one day, you don't get to use PTO with it.

*** I used to work at a large Magnet hospital that had the same policy. One day some of us nurses were standing around in the ER talking about it and an ER physican heard us. He was incredulous and said that was the stupidiest thing he had ever heard (quite a statement coming from an experienced ER physician). This great man told us that if any of us ever needed a doctors note to show up in the ER and he would write us a note, and he did! All we had to do was walk in (we didn't wait in the waiting room but used the employee entrance) and say "Hi Doc!" and he would grab an Rx pad and write "PMFB-RN was seen by me in the ER today", hand it to us and we would be on our merry way. Word got around and pretty soon staff from the whole hospital was dropping by to ge a note. That one doc talked the other ER physicians into also writing us notes. He said "afer all it's perfectly true! You actually did see nurse Smith on the ER today" No other deails were on the note and the doc enjoyed telling nursing management that no he could not elaborate about what were were seen in the ER for, HIPAA you know!

[wooh, BSN, RN]

I work in LTC and our administrator told us that our facility should be comparable to a nice hotel. Really? I've never been to a nice hotel that had staff to toilet me, get me up and dressed in the morning and undressed and in bed in the evening, managed my medications and treatments, showered me, fed me and monitored my condition.

When management pulls out the hotel comparison, I always think to myself that the patients are perfectly capable of choosing to go to a hotel if they want to do so. I'm not sure how well room service will handle their illness, but if they want a hotel, there are many that I can recommend to them. On the other hand, if they want hospital care, here we are.

OMG, I remember a scenario like this....except it wasn't a complaining family, it was the fact that there simply weren't enough pillows on my med-surg/ortho floor. Every patient had at least one or two pillows, some had more to prop various body parts.

Nurses complained to management that we were reduced to rolling up sheets and towels to try to form props until of course we RAN OUT of THOSE items. Their answer? We should be more efficient in our use of hospital supplies and equipment so we wouldn't be out of them when we needed them! Never mind that we weren't using the pillows to build play forts, they were used ON the patients.

Never understood that thinking: if they GIVE us the equipment we need, we'll somehow be ungrateful and therefore misuse the stuff....and then we'd want more. Seriously? :-/

Our supply people refused to bring us isolation gowns. At least 75% of our floor is on contact precautions, but we were apparently using "too many" gowns. Like we used them for a fashion show or something.