Probably the worst was a 400+ lb guy brought in by EMS because he couldn't care for himself any longer. He was early 50's and was still wearing the hosp gown he was d/c in 3 weeks before.
He was so big and the house was so piled up with garbage they had to cut a section of wall out to get to him. When he got to us he was covered neck to toe in fecal material.
Me and 2 other nurses went in to start giving him a bath. Lots of hot soapy water and about 50 towels. As we turned him onto his R side, we noticed something hairy stuck in a fold.
It was covered in poop, and upon futher inspection we noticed it had blown pupils. That was the first rat I have ever had to pull out of a fold. We also recovered some Little Debbie wrappers in other folds and a crushed coke bottle stuck in his a$$
We did get this guy admitted and sent to a nursing home for better care.
Had a guy come in with rubber ball stuck in his rectum. It had been on a chain of balls that are pulled out with orgasm (as I have no prostate gland, I couldn't really tell ya). But anyway, I was working with a male nurse that night who was taking care of this patient. He came to me and asked me if I would start his IV that he just didn't want to be aroudn the guy. So I go in, put the tourniquet on and what comes out of my mouth? "Open and close your hand like you're squeezing a rubber ball." lol :)
:rotfl: :rotfl: :roll OMG, I laughed so hard, I almost fell off of my computer chair!
I remember one night I took a 15yr old female pt. I looked at her triage sheet and it said " possible sliver in the lady parts" Now mind you it was summer so I was thinking water skiing off a dock or something similar.. I walked in the room and asked her what the problem was..she said , "I think I have a sliver in my lady parts" I asked how she thought it happened and she said, "Well I masterbate with wooden dowling rods" WTH>>> I would have loved to have had a polaroid of my face..I was not ready for the answer at all!! I regained my composure and said, "well you know they make devices that are much more body friendly for that type of activity"...she said, "I know..my mom told me this was going to happen someday"...arghhhhh. Yes, there was a sliver that had abcessed..Just another night in the ER....
I have seen my share of biggies and have found some unlikely things in the folds, I have also seen some maggots in wounds and bugs in ears.
I thought one of the funniest things on here tho was
Actually had a guy come into the ER last night. Cheif complaint: I smoked pot, and now I feel dizzy. Don't you just want to make them sit on the floor instead of taking up a bed?
OK was this not the feeling you were expecting? Take it up with your dealer bub!
Specializes in LTC,Hospice/palliative care,acute care.
Originally posted by kwagner_51
I had a pleasant experience the last time I went to the ER. I told the triage nurse that my son had a spinter under his fingernail. I really didn't think it was an emergency, but I also didn't want it to get infected. I asked her if he really needed to see the Dr. or could I wait until The office opened on Monday.
I also told her that I was a SN and that this was the second time he had done this. I told her that I didn't want to waste her valuable time. I got to leave. I didn't take Jake to the dr. but I did call his office. The splinter came out on its own about 3 weeks later.
QUOTE] I bet they'll never forget you....:chuckle You are famous down in that ED now....
Actually one of the nastiest things I had to deal with in a rural ER was a splinter under a toenail - now before you all start yawning it happened like this.
Small and I MEAN 20 bed rural/remote hospital - no doc. EN (LPN) comes up to me white faced - you got to look at this! Wondering I follow her and here is Mum with screaming three year old who had a LARGE splinter embedded not just under the toenail but the entire length of the toenail. - Did I mention no Doctor??
I knew local would be counterproductive so I grabbed the forceps gipped the tip of the splinter (it had broken off flush with the nail) sent up a fervent prayer to the Gods of Nurses Who Try and pulled. Sucker came out in one. Turns out Mum was on her way through town to larger city so directed her to see Dr about further comps. - i.e. infection.
Once in the middle of the winter, I had a guy walk into our ED with 4 bandaids across the bridge of his nose and dried blood everywhere. He wanted me to call him a cab for a ride home. I asked him what happened to his nose and he said he didnt know. When he pulled the bandaids off, his nose came off too!!! Apparantly he had been at a party and was messing around with someones wife.. The other guy chopped this dudes nose off with a hatchet!! 6 hours of reconstructive surgery later the patient was going to get revenge.....
24 yr old comes to the ED with a vibrator up his rectum. It was still running!! he went to the OR too, and the surgeon had to turn off the vibrator after removal. They must have used Duracells...
We had a woman come in with a lac on her lip, complained she woke up with a bat chewing on her. Uh-huh. Until she mentioned she brought the bat with her in a brown paper bag.
Triage nurse brought her right back (during shift change), and went back out to triage, where the day nurse was about to sit down. Yelled, "don't sit on that bag!", the bag started to move, turns out it was still alive....and rabid. Lady did fine, by the way.
Specializes in ER - trauma/cardiac/burns. IV start spec.
This is to Skybirdrising- Get over it. We have compassion and patience and strong stomachs etc. But if you do not find something to laugh about in nursing then either you have or are about to burn out.
We do not "poke fun" at our patients during our shifts but "dark humor" has long been recognised as part of the medical field.
How can you tell an er nurse - her/his kids think disarticulation in normal dinner conversation. How can you spot er nurses at a football game. Announce "code blue" and count the number of people looking up.
Funniest ER story - have lots or funny and lots of touching ones. But at the moment I can only think about a family that was traveling home after a holiday with Grandma in the back seat. We pulled the poor little lady out of the car and ran her to the trauma room. Did everything we could. When I told the family that "things did not look good" and suggested that they might call other family members to come up - boy did I get a shock. The daughter stormed to the desk and announced to the entire ER. "Just tell us that she is dead. We still have a long drive and we will send for her later" Wow - such a loving family.
Oh yeah - how about the drunk brought in with left arm cut off just below elbow by freight train. I went to tell his brother and sister that we were sending him to surgery to clean the wound but that he would have to return to surgery later. Brother and sister both said well at least its his arm and not his head. Then they got up and left. I just stood there dumbfounded.
We have all lost patients and we have pulled some through. Now we need to pull each other - humor even the dark kind is a form of debriefing and a part of all of us
Something I've heard from a lot of patients that makes me laugh everytime: When I am done in a patient's room, before leaving I always ask if there is anything else I can get for them. I don't know how many times I have been told "yeah, a T-bone steak and a beer" or some other food item to that effect. I always tell them that if they buy it, I'll run right out and get it!:chuckle
Pam (who loves to have fun with my patients)
:roll :roll :roll
My most popular answer this question is a MIllion Bucks, hahah I just laugh and say yeah I could use that too
I thought of one more.. I worked at a level II trauma center and we had the anti-venin for snake bites for an entire 3 county area.
an ambulance was headed our way with a 26 yr old male, victim of a snake bite, coded at the scene, but has a pulse now.
we are getting all ready, meds ready etc. In rolls this ambulance, with a drunk 26 yr old dirty guy in the back. Apparantly he was fishing and drinking and reached down to pull a fish up out of the water and was bitten by a snake. He shook the snake off and it flew over and hit his uncle in the back, he quickly killed the snake. The 26yr old fainted, and his wife (a cna at a nursing home) was sure he had gone into cardiac arrest, so she started doing CPR!
long story short, the guy had a superficial bite on his hand, (by a non poisonous snake) and a huge red, spot on his mid sternum. All he cared about was who had his beer and when can he go back and finish fishing!!!
Specializes in ER - trauma/cardiac/burns. IV start spec.
Originally posted by lmd32
I'm not an ER nurse but a nurse where I work collects stories of local candidates for the Darwin Awards. My favorite is the front page picture of the guy with a bandage over an eye and the caption "I feel so stupid!". I guess he and his buddy were drinking and thought it would be fun to shoot a gasoline can off each other's head with a bow and arrow. Apparently his buddy had the poorer aim.
How about the winner of the 2003 Darwin awards - guy with a gun tries to hold up someone pulls the trigger and nothing happens - what does he do? Looks down the barrel and pulls again - it works the second time.
We had a winner last might or was it a wiener, who knows. A guy called 911, he was 28 yrs old. Apparently he had taken a Viagra in anticipation of his girlfriends pending arrival. She was a no show. He called 911 because he was afraid something was going to happen to his thingee, he came in c/o numbness and tingling all over, carpal tunnel spasms, hyperventilating.
He got upset and left AMA when he overheard a doctor remark, Just give him some KY.
ShelleyERgirl, LPN
436 Posts
:rotfl: :rotfl: :roll OMG, I laughed so hard, I almost fell off of my computer chair!