What is the worst thing a patient has ever said to you?

[NurseStephRN]

Is it me, or are patients getting ruder and more disrespectful each time you clock in for work?

I don't usually let rude patients/families get to me, but last night I had to deal with the most insane people ever. I had the misfortune of informing the patient and his family that he had gone into rapid a-fib and his cardiologist was not on call. The patient didn't believe that he was having a rapid ventricular response since "he didn't feel that his heart was going fast," and had me count an apical pulse and call the monitor tech to see if she concurred with my rate. (I was off by 2 beats).

I was also instructed by the family to print a set of strips indicating that he was in fact in a-fib. Mind you, this patient has a history of a-fib and was on amiodarone for a while, but the family decided to stop it b/c the patient is allergic to iodine. Despite the allergy, he never had a reaction to amiodarone, but the family still didn't want him to have it and... ta-da! He went back into a-fib.

I was also yelled at because I had to start a Cardizem gtt and as this patient has a habit of going hypotensive, decided that BP checks q30 minutes was a prudent thing to do. Oh, I was also a bad nurse b/c I put him on 2L NC. Oh, and my hospital is ridiculous because we don't have those donuts for people to sit on... oh and there CAN'T be a good reason for us to not have them in central supply.

Did I also mention that I was lazy because I left the BP cuff on him and set the machine to recycle every 30 mts? Yes... I did that so I wouldn't have to go in the room all night. (He told this to the PCA and she came and told me) So he refused to leave the BP cuff on, and preferred for me to go in every 30 mts to put the cuff on and off (this only went on for 3 cycles... at this time, he fell asleep and I slipped it on over his gown). This is the same man who complained that us night shift don't let him sleep.

I just had to run out of the room at this point and cry... I usually handle these kind of people really well. Before last night I don't remember the last time I let a patient/family make me cry. I actually felt bad giving report on this patient in the morning... I felt horrible to pass this person on to another nurse!

*oh and the KICKER. During one of my visits for a BP check, I accidentally bumped his foot which he REFUSES to leave on the bed. He prefers to let his foot hang off the bed on the side I do my care on. He totally went off on me! Apparently during my BSN program I was taught not to be careful, but to bump patients' feet and cause them pain. I also after 3 years of working cardiac, am unfamiliar with caring for dialysis patients and I don't know how to monitor an a-fib patient. He can't wait until I'm sick in a hospital bed so he can give me what's coming to me. this is the most hurtful thing ANYBODY has ever said to me. I couldn't even respond. I just turned around and left the room.

Sorry this is so long, guys. I just really needed to vent.

[RhiaRN75, RN]

His loyal wifie of course!

You'd think, but once he became so ill he needed someone to care for him, she left. (I mean left, as in half the country away.) He was too sick to beat her and actually seemed sincerely sorry- it's amazing what happens when one finally quits or really gets sick- so she left for greener? pastures. I can't say I blame her, but I do wonder if it was because she finally felt it was safe to leave, was just fed up, or needed a 'strong' man.

I know where you're coming from w/ regards to addiction and family. I've watched several friends and family battle alcohol- so I tend to have a soft spot for alcoholics. I set limits yes, but I can't keep the thoughts of how I would want my loved ones treated far from my mind.

[caliotter3]

I suppose the worst was the time that I was getting threatened and talked down to by a patient whose drunk of a friend had sexually assaulted me the day before. I had put the drunk in his place concerning the sexual harassment and assault. (I could not leave the premises at the time. I should have called the police, but you know boys will be drunk, now won't they!). By the time the conversation finished, I had to call my agency and leave the home immediately. I was being threatened and knew it. It was only the previous day that I had been assaulted, and if I had any sense at the time, I would not have been trying to do my job on that particular day. My employer's response to the assault and threats? I never worked another day for that employer. To this day I suffer from post traumatic effects regarding this entire situation. I almost never went back to nursing because of it and other incidents around that time. They can get to you sometimes.

[RhiaRN75, RN]

Caliotter, how horrible! Just wrong on so many levels- they had no right to treat you that way!

I don't know that I would have not gone back the next day either- shock manifests in strange ways.

[caliotter3]

Caliotter, how horrible! Just wrong on so many levels- they had no right to treat you that way!

I don't know that I would have not gone back the next day either- shock manifests in strange ways.

That's for sure. I've since castigated myself many times over for not standing up for myself. I really needed the job and was afraid to complain about anything. It also never occurred to me that the employer would not do a thing about seeing that I was connected with the police for filing charges, seen by a doctor, etc. They accused me of abandoning and mistreating the patient (instead of acknowledging that it was the other way around) and never spoke to me again.

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

you'd think, but once he became so ill he needed someone to care for him, she left. (i mean left, as in half the country away.) he was too sick to beat her and actually seemed sincerely sorry- it's amazing what happens when one finally quits or really gets sick- so she left for greener? pastures. i can't say i blame her, but i do wonder if it was because she finally felt it was safe to leave, was just fed up, or needed a 'strong' man.

i know where you're coming from w/ regards to addiction and family. i've watched several friends and family battle alcohol- so i tend to have a soft spot for alcoholics. i set limits yes, but i can't keep the thoughts of how i would want my loved ones treated far from my mind.

spouse abusers are at their most dangerous when their victim leaves them. she probably felt it was safe enough to leave if he was too sick to track her down and kill her. i found the "strong man" comment particularly offensive. i don't have a soft spot for alcoholics, but as far as domestic violence, i've been there. luckily, i got out alive. i've known people who weren't so lucky.

[morte, LPN, LVN]

spouse abusers are at their most dangerous when their victim leaves them. she probably felt it was safe enough to leave if he was too sick to track her down and kill her. i found the "strong man" comment particularly offensive. i don't have a soft spot for alcoholics, but as far as domestic violence, i've been there. luckily, i got out alive. i've known people who weren't so lucky.

i took that as sarcasm.....

[RhiaRN75, RN]

I didn't mean it in an offensive way- it's more of a cynical view born from frustation then anything else.

Most people in domestic abuse are truly victims, and rightly fear for their lives.

I wan't referring to the majority, though. There are a few dependent personalities that seem to thrive on it. It goes beyond fear or love- they need it. It doesn't just occur with the stereotypical battered-wife scenario- I've seen abused men as well.

Anyhow- I've seen women go from one abusive relationship to another. For whatever reason- and I'm not trying to imply it's not maladaptive or lessens the fact that they are victims- they want domineering men. I have had a few pts who were insulted if their man wasn't 'strong' (their words), that if he didn't have a jealous fit and 'put them in their place', he wasn't a real man and didn't really love them. Again, their words. These are women who have been offered every possible resource, over and over, but still repeat the cycle. I have had them tell me better a bit of 'knocking around' then a weak man.

You can't help them- they don't want the help. Beyond long-term institutionalization, which never happens anymore, you cannot force help onto someone who cannot be declared incompetent; who flat out and repeatedly refuses such help. Who go one step further and actively seek out dysfunctional relationships. There's an infinite number of reasons why- abused as a child, addiction, some horrible traumatic event, mental illness- whatever the reason, some victims don't want it to change. All you can do is try to give them opportunities, compassionate care, and keep the door open in case they decide to walk through.

I don't condone it, I don't think it's ok EVER to abuse another human. I don't think the 'strong man' attitude has a bit of defendable rationale. I cannot force people to live how I think best, though. I can provide them them opportunity and support as best as they allow. I can care for their wounds as best as they will let me. I cannot force someone to be saved.

So, I wasn't really referring to the overwhelming majority of women who are scared for their/their family's lives.

I apologize to anyone whom I may have offended. It was not my intention to belittle or trivialize domestic abuse.

As for my 'soft spot' for alcoholics- being an alcoholic does not always go hand in hand with domestic abuse.

[FranEMTnurse, CNA, LPN, EMT-I]

I don't remember:coollook:

[Peggyfaye]

This behavior wouldn't fly , in our ER.

Are you working a tele floor?

Where was the Dr. why didn't he/she back you up?

Why didn't his admitting MD talk with him & his family about

their inappropriate behavior~

I'd take this to the nurse mgr. as some behavior guidelines about

this type of abusive behavior towards a nurse should not be condoned

by inaction of the hospital you work for.

Have a better day/night next time you work.

it is dispiriting though...

[Tiffany Lynne]

I'm new to patient care and am wondering, what kind of action can be taken to ensure the patient doesn't get away with furthur abuse? What's in place to protect us?

[systoly]

I cannot remember a worst thing, because after so many years it just bounces off, but the one thing I do remember is, "Evil spawn of Satan". It still cracks me up when I think about it. Another situation I remember well is from a few years back when I was working weekends at a LTC facility and moonlighting in med surg at one of the local hospitals during the week. Occasionally, I'd be taking care of one of the LTC patients at the hospital and the same family members who complained (while at the LTC facility) that the LTC nurses were hospital rejects and not fit to be public servants complained that the hospital nurses were clueless and should have an ounce of the LTC nurses' knowledge.

[diane227, LPN, RN]

Sometimes you have to get down on their level. I can tolerate old people. Most of what they say does not bother me. But this young A holes can kiss my A if they think they are going to talk to me that way. I just don't put up with it. When I worked in the ED, I called the cops and had them hauled out of the ED. When you stand up and let people know that you are not going to put up with their behavior, many times they will shut up and stop being a pain in the A.