What Was the DUMBEST Request Made By A Patient?

Nurses General Nursing

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Once, I saw a patient in a wheelchair while I was walking to my clinic and she asked me for a wrench. I asked why and she said "I need you to screw in my wheels".

Another one was I was walking out of the building by the information desk, where patients are allowed to make a courtesy call. I was talking to my friend on my cell phone trying to ask where to meet her to get a ride home from work. A patient ran behind me out of the building, into the street to ask me if she can use my cell phone. I turned around and told her to please ask the information desk and she said that she didn't want to be charged any extra money. I was so annoyed, I kept walking.

Was walking in a shopping mall (in uniform) and a patient I remembered ran to me and asked me to weigh her, and then right before I was able to respond, asked me if I can get on the computer and make an appointment for her. I told her I do not walk around with a scale and she will have to call for an appointment because I am off duty.

What's yours?

Specializes in ER.
i've lost track of how many times parents told their scared-to-death and crying kids in the er, "if you don't stop crying and behave yourself (as if being scared about being in the er is misbehavior!), that nurse is going to give you a shot!"

:uhoh3::uhoh3:

when i first started i fumed but didn't say anything. then i grew some cojones and after that i fired right back, telling the now-terrified kids "we don't give shots to punish children, we give them to make them better." i have told those stupid parents, "statements like that are why children are so afraid of going to the doctor, thank you very much!"

:bow::bow::bow::bow::bow:

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Specializes in Community Health, Med-Surg, Home Health.

I would have told the person who asked the question that he/she had to donate for the brain transplant. Actually, this may have done the world a favor...

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Specializes in Community Health, Med-Surg, Home Health.
We admitted a young man whose ER drug screen was positive for pretty much everything. Needless to say he was a bit agitated, so several of us were holding the guy down while the pulmonologist inserted a central line. The patient apparently took a liking to the doc; after it was over he reached in his pocket, pulled out a handful of joints and assorted drugs and asked the doc to party with him. The guy seemed quite put out when he refused. :lol2:

Wow...now THAT was funny!!!:lol2::lol2:

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Thanks for reminding me about the brain transplant. I actually from time to time have families request that. It always amazes me how much explaining I must do to get them to understand. I guess it should not surprise me after they asked the question in the first place.[:smackingf]

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Specializes in Community, OB, Nursery.

That "stop-or-I'll-tell-the-nurse-to-give-you-a-shot" mess used to make me :angryfire. I used to tell the kids in front of Mom (or dad) that shots are to make you get better or to keep you from getting. They are not punishment. The parents always looked shocked that I'd taken their ace in the hole away from them. And I'd tell them, "Your child's health is partially my responsibility. Teaching him how to behave is yours." It amazes me how many people don't get that.

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Specializes in ICU.
Well I was in shock the other day.

I had a VERY demanding patient, who was constantly on the call bell all shift. After getting her water for her, moving it closer, no moving it farther away, to the left to the right and so on, i was just leaving to go to my other patients when she asked me to fluff her pillows for her!

I really only thought that was something you only saw on telly!!

Wasn't my Great Aunt was it? Mother was a nurse and on a recent visit to the Great Aunt (same one who told us she was admitted because her heart was "rotating too fast in her chest" got a litany of complaints about "The nurses didn't feed me" they "didn't fluff my pillows properly" and "They told me it was my job to pour my own water!"

Mum was forthright about what is and is NOT a nurses' role but we both have been down this road before and to her - nurses are handmaidens/servants and that is the end of it.

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Specializes in ICU.
That "stop-or-I'll-tell-the-nurse-to-give-you-a-shot" mess used to make me :angryfire. I used to tell the kids in front of Mom (or dad) that shots are to make you get better or to keep you from getting. They are not punishment. The parents always looked shocked that I'd taken their ace in the hole away from them. And I'd tell them, "Your child's health is partially my responsibility. Teaching him how to behave is yours." It amazes me how many people don't get that.

My pet hate!! Happens here too! Always looked shocked when you give them the lecture about "do not make them associate vaccination with punishment" You know I have even had it at parties off duty "You know Gwenith is a nurse and she can give you a shot............" Grrrrrrrrrr!

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i heard my desk partner on the phone recently, to a new home health pt, saying "no, we cannot just drop everything to come help you get out of bed, mrs. ----. i guarantee you that medicare will not pay for that!"

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Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.

here's a new one -- "my mother needs help changing her depends." mother was a visitor and had come in with the patient's wife. i suggested patient's wife help his mother with her toileting needs and his response was "oh, my wife doesn't like to do that." like i just llloooooovvveeee to toilet the visitors!

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Specializes in Med/Surg/Hem/Onc/Psyc.
The most "uninformed" request came from a family member, consult for a brain transplant as their loved one had been declared 'brain dead'. They wanted the loved one transferred to another facility a couple hours away as they were sure they did brain transplants there.

I took about 20 mins of reasoning and education for them to finally see that no one would offer a perfectly good brain for transplant.

Thanks for this tread!!!

PRICELESS

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Specializes in Cath Lab/Critical Care.

During nursing school, I brought in the morning bathing supplies for a patient, and asked her if she needed anything else from me...she leaned back, lifted her gown up, put her arms behind her head, and told me, "Just put a shine on the monkey for me, honey!" I'm not sure if that qualifies for dumbest, weirdest, or what...

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Specializes in Community Health, Med-Surg, Home Health.
here's a new one -- "my mother needs help changing her depends." mother was a visitor and had come in with the patient's wife. i suggested patient's wife help his mother with her toileting needs and his response was "oh, my wife doesn't like to do that." like i just llloooooovvveeee to toilet the visitors!

i am getting woozy as i read this...the freaking nerve of that bum to ask someone to change a visitor????:angryfire:angryfire:angryfire:angryfire:angryfire:angryfire

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