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What type of family member drives you craziest?

Specializes in Corrections, Cardiac, Hospice. Has 18 years experience.

This one is compliments of Virgo RN on another thread. I wish I would have had a beverage alert before reading it. I am going to post Virgo's first, then for a little fun add a couple of my own.

Back to the topic at hand; some other annoying family member types:

The Comedian: This is the guy/gal who is always cracking a joke, they think they are hilarious, and if you don't laugh at their stupid jokes (as if you haven't heard them all a million times), then they make some snide comment about how the nurse has no sense of humor.

The Attention Seeker: This person likes to talk about their own ailments/illnesses/medication regimens, so the focus is on them and not the loved one in the hospital bed.

The Family Member with Broken Arms: This person plops down in a chair and turns on the TV, and every time Granny needs a sip of water or a pillow fluffed, they come out into the hallway and hunt down the nurse to do it.

The Consumer Advocate: This person's priorities are out of order. As you are preparing the patient for open heart surgery scheduled for the next morning, the Consumer Advocate draws attention to 2cm in diameter mustard stain on the patient's gown and points it out as evidence of poor customer service.

The Ineedanurse: This is the one who puts a call light on saying I NEED A NURSE IN HERE! Then when you get there, they need a refill on their water picture or the lights out in the room.

The Supervisor: This is the family member who has absolutely no idea how to do your job, but they are going to tell you how to do it.

The Do you know who I AM: Enough said

Ok, those are a few of mine. What are yours?

Well, as I read this, I thought "yes, yes, yes" and didn't think I could add any more to the list until...I experienced the dirtbag...

The husband who does all of the above in the original post but then...

Finds you alone at the nurses station and invites you to his hotel room and tells you that "all you have to do is lay there" blech!

I am only bothered by the family member with no ears..no words go in and they all come out. In other words ones can't seem to listen/understand much of anything.

wanderlust99

Specializes in ICU/PACU. Has 10 years experience.

There are some true psychotic family members out there. Had one yesterday & I wanted to strangle her or burst into tears and cry in the corner. Came home & drank and now I'm feeling a bit better.

The interpreter: This one will tell you that her mother said she is not enjoying the food and won't eat it unless the texture is changed...again. When her mother hasn't spoken more than two words in the last six months as she is in the advanced stages of Alzheimer disease.

InDenial: Wants physical therapy ordered for her 80 some odd year old mother with Alzheimer because her grasp has decreased.

The misguided: A resident's family member told me the reason he fell is that we changed his room and it must have confused him (his room was changed almost a month ago) and in the same breath told me that I should tie him to the bed (her words) to prevent it from happening again. Again this is a resident with severe dementia who has muscle weakness and a penchant for trying to get up on his own...sigh

Well, as I read this, I thought "yes, yes, yes" and didn't think I could add any more to the list until...I experienced the dirtbag...

The husband who does all of the above in the original post but then...

Finds you alone at the nurses station and invites you to his hotel room and tells you that "all you have to do is lay there" blech!

Ugh I haven't met that one yet, thank goodness!

mom4josh

Specializes in onc, M/S, hospice, nursing informatics. Has 11 years experience.

Well, as I read this, I thought "yes, yes, yes" and didn't think I could add any more to the list until...I experienced the dirtbag...

The husband who does all of the above in the original post but then...

Finds you alone at the nurses station and invites you to his hotel room and tells you that "all you have to do is lay there" blech!

All I can say is... ewwwwwwwwwwww! I think I would say, "Too bad for you I'm going to tell your wife!"

:barf02:

Other than those already posted, probably the worst for me is the family who won't make their 96-year-old mother with stage IV colon cancer a DNR. They just let her get chemo last week and can't understand why it hasn't worked yet.

MedSurgeMess

Specializes in Med/Surg, ICU, educator.

The name dropper: likes to tell you all of the bigwigs that they know/are friendly with. And make veiled threats to turn you in for bad care if you aren't subservient to their, or the patients', every need.......

GadgetRN71, ASN, RN

Specializes in Operating Room. Has 14 years experience.

I had exposure to the Over Anxious Parent a few times...but I'm not talking about a pediatric patient. These pts were all adults, in their right mind(supposedly) and their parents were there treating them like they were 5 years old.

That's about all i can think of-I'm fortunate that we don't get too much exposure to family/visitors in the OR. :up:

sssrn

Specializes in ICU. Has 11 years experience.

How about The Ass-umer. "You're a MALE nurse? You're either gay or couldn't get into medical school."

The name dropper: likes to tell you all of the bigwigs that they know/are friendly with. And make veiled threats to turn you in for bad care if you aren't subservient to their, or the patients', every need.......

Oh yeh, or the "my (fill in the blank) is a lawyer" or better yet "I am a lawyer" and profess to know EVERYTHING about the care of their loved one and every bit of what they claim they know is detrimental to the patient. Think along the lines of "my mother needs a drink of water NOW" when the pt is NPO for testing or due to a family member not (usually the one mentioned) not making the decision for a PEG tube, hence the pt remains NPO with IVF.

The stalker. They sneak up behind you, and when you turn around you almost run into them. They ask for something, in an over-polite, ingratiating, way, that is totally manipulative - if you're fooled, you think, well if I do this one thing for them, they will leave me alone; but no, it's just the beginning of long, long, day.

The note-taker: From the second you walk in the room they have pen and paper in hand. They start with your name and then demand to know every little thing you are doing so they can write it in the "NOTEBOOK." Heaven forbid you do something that the nurse before you didn't do because then the notebook is consulted and items are cross referenced and thrown in your face. Another lengthy discussion must follow. Adding insult to injury and sucking out your last drop of patience they ask you to slow down because they can't write as fast as you are talking.

canoehead, BSN, RN

Specializes in ER. Has 30 years experience.

The visitor that knows everything that goes on inside yur patient's body, and needs to tell you about it in a hushed voice in the hallway. Also those that just speak right up, "she's been nauseated for an hour and her pain is a ten."

The note-taker: From the second you walk in the room they have pen and paper in hand. They start with your name and then demand to know every little thing you are doing so they can write it in the "NOTEBOOK." Heaven forbid you do something that the nurse before you didn't do because then the notebook is consulted and items are cross referenced and thrown in your face. Another lengthy discussion must follow. Adding insult to injury and sucking out your last drop of patience they ask you to slow down because they can't write as fast as you are talking.

You know what's kinda fun with these families? Do something while they are out on a coffee break or in the restroom, so you know it's not in their notebook. Maybe it's just me, but I find that very satisfying.

swirlygirl

Has 7 years experience.

I love love love family members that claim to also be nurses when they're not. I work on a surgical unit I recently had a fresh post-op patient whose daughter asked me as soon as i got in the room how many other patients I had that night. I answered that I had 7 total. Daughter excitedly said to mom "Oh Mom! She hardly has any patients tonight so she can spend a lot of time in here with you if you want her to!" Then the daughter looks at me and says "Don't worry, I know what I'm talking about - I work in healthcare too. I'm a doctors assistant. Which is pretty much like a physician's assistant." She made a few more comments about her extensive medical knowledge. When I asked her which practice of physicians she worked with, she admitted that she was a CNA in a doctors office.

I love love love family members that claim to also be nurses when they're not. I work on a surgical unit I recently had a fresh post-op patient whose daughter asked me as soon as i got in the room how many other patients I had that night. I answered that I had 7 total. Daughter excitedly said to mom "Oh Mom! She hardly has any patients tonight so she can spend a lot of time in here with you if you want her to!" Then the daughter looks at me and says "Don't worry, I know what I'm talking about - I work in healthcare too. I'm a doctors assistant. Which is pretty much like a physician's assistant." She made a few more comments about her extensive medical knowledge. When I asked her which practice of physicians she worked with, she admitted that she was a CNA in a doctors office.

You know how you can spot a true RN? When they ask you a question that makes you say, Are you a nurse? And they hesitate and then almost imperceptibly nod their head or very quietly say, uh huh. It's the ones who didn't really want to tell you.

SweetLemon

Specializes in Psychiatric Nursing. Has 1 years experience.

The Dictator.... Wants to demanding the care their family member recieves but wants nothing to do with the patient. Usually found calling and giving orders over the phone but never seen during visiting hours (and lives right up the street). These ones burn me a lot.

interleukin

Specializes in Mixed Level-1 ICU. Has 14 years experience.

The family members that never show up for a dying loved one.

All of them, except in rare circumstances.

Also, in addition to the Notetakers, are The Followers -- the ones who stand outside the room and watch you as you work, following you up and down the hall with their requests for whatever little thing they have dreamed up for the moment. I can't believe these people sometimes.

As a past patient in a hospital, I didn't care if a nurse EVER came into my room. I just wanted to SLEEP! I just don't understand these people who want CONSTANT contact with a nurse for every little thing. Can't they just freaking RELAX???

And then there are the ones who want you to page that doc so they can GO HOME RIGHT NOW. Are they doing anyting special at home? No -- they just want to leave. They are always on their lunch hour and "have to take mom home NOW." Then, discharge time comes and all of a sudden, mom or dad experiences SOB, or CP, or some other such complaint, and it's a huge brouhaha and then we're staying overnight again.

We've just instituted these flu visitor restrictions, and, again, it's up to us to enforce this mandate from higher management. Now part of my duties are kicking these people out against their will and of course, the inevitable flak is flying. It is sort of fun, though, to see the security officers escort them out. REALLY fun.

Oh, and I love the ones who park their chairs right in my pathway as I have to get to the patient at the window seat. People are just so obtuse and self centered, it's unbelievable.

Then again, some family members can be very sweet and helpful. They're not all bad, but definitely more bad than good.