What To Do When Dating A Co-Worker

[bobber]

Long story short, I sort of had a date with one of the surgical residents where I work. She is a bit younger than me and things progressed at speed of light pace. Little regret at get so intimate so soon, but now I do not know what to do.

I like her a lot and she is so beautiful, but I don't want to let my personal life spill over into my work life. I know - a little late now to care about that, but I don't want her attending to know about the budding romance and do not want my co-workers to give me $hi$ over it.

How can I tell her to pump the brakes and not be all clingy at work. I have to work with these people and I do value their respect. I still like her, but not so touchy feely at work. Is there hope?

[vincejojo]

Look! She's beautiful and you like her. Talk to her about keeping it professional at work, if she really likes you she will respect you. Let her know you value your relationship with her. maybe she's insecure and she just trying to let all the other females know that you guys are dating so they can keep off. Just talk to her. dont stop dating her. enjoy it while it last. you never know it may end tomorrow or last forever.

And for the people that says she will tell your business once you guys break up. Do you have a skeleton in you locker? if you are romantic and make her feel good as a woman. what can she say if you guys ever break up.

[caliotter3]

There doesn't even have to be a breakup for things to get dicey. Take any of the suggestions for having that serious discussion with her and then act accordingly on the job. Both of you could be jeopardizing yourselves and your paychecks, not a good thing.

[bsrn0523]

take it from me; never, ever, ever date anyone from work. if you are interested in someone, play it cool and if one of you happens to move on to another job opportunity somewhere down the line, then make your move. let her down gently, if you can. she sounds like a stage 4 clinger, though. good luck!

[Birry]

So you've got a hot young resident all up on you... I'd say play it Enrique Suave and you'll be set for life!

It takes multiple parties to be "unprofessional" at work. What's so professional about self-righteous flabbergastation around the water cooler from all the busybodies and prudes? If you're both on top of your game, the rest can go shut up in unpolite webspeak.

[netglow, ASN, RN]

:hpygrp:

You guys... so funny!

[lsvalliant]

If you're both on top of your game, the rest can go shut up in unpolite webspeak.

Is it unpolite to share one's experiences and give advice when asked for it? If you had enough life experience, i don't think you would recommend this. Why dont you try dating your boss and see how it works out for ya, lol. Maybe you've just rolled the dice in the past and been lucky. Go to Vegas if you want to live fast and take chances, not at work.

[Blackheartednurse]

I have a feeling you are exagerating....seriously.She is beautiful,young and a resident and she can not control herself around you? Makes me wonder how the hell did she finish medical school in the first place if she has a trouble being professionaL at work...rethink maybe for her it is just an adventure,a short lived romance,did she say she was crazy about you? Or are you assuming or maybe you have huge fantasy and imagination or maybe you are trolling?????????? Something is totally fake in this picture

[TDCHIM]

Never date co-workers. Nothing good ever, ever , ever comes of it.

I beg to differ. I dated a coworker and ended up with a terrific spouse as a result. :)

That said, workplace relationships are often difficult and have a significant potential to blow up in your face. My now-husband and I took a lot of time to get to know each other before starting our relationship, as neither of us was very comfortable with the idea of dating a coworker. Once we did start seeing each other, it was serious from the very start, and we always maintained absolute professional boundaries at work - no touchy-feely stuff, ever. I even felt guilty about walking out to the parking lot with him when we'd finish work at the same time.

My advice is for you two to have a talk about workplace relationship boundaries. I wouldn't make your coworkers the heavies, because you're both supposed to be adults discussing an adult issue. However, the impact it could have on both your careers seems like a good point to raise. You can also use the conversation as a sort of experiment: if she responds maturely to the discussion and alters the problematic workplace behavior, that's a positive sign for the health and stability of your relationship. On the other hand, if she blows off your concerns and doesn't alter her behavior back to a professionally appropriate level at work, that should certainly tell you a lot about your chances together.

Good luck.

[iluvivt, BSN, RN]

..... I would not call my beautiful daughter ( and only child) "nothing but trouble" and she is the product of a relationship from work. Its really how you you both handle it but I agree make ground rules may as well be honest from the start as this is always the cornerstone of a mature relationship. I say enjoy and have fun but in a responsible manner

[Intern67]

Never date co-workers. Nothing good ever, ever , ever comes of it.

I dunno, sounds like he got a little good out of it pretty early on.

[whodatnurse]

I'm still scratching my head as to when a surgical resident would have TIME to 'be clingy' at work???

[Birry]

Is it unpolite to share one's experiences and give advice when asked for it? If you had enough life experience, i don't think you would recommend this. Why dont you try dating your boss and see how it works out for ya, lol. Maybe you've just rolled the dice in the past and been lucky. Go to Vegas if you want to live fast and take chances, not at work.

I was talking about the people who would actually matter in this instance; i.e., the ones he works with gossipping and shaking their heads.

If the OP and the resident are both getting their work done in a professional manner, anyone who is "bothered" by it should go take a long look in the mirror and perhaps shed a tear for the joie de vivre they so glaringly lack.

I know it's idealistic to hope that just once the people enjoying themselves at no one's expense would win out over the legion of small-minded, mean-spirited busybodies. In this case, I'd rather be an idealist.