What to do when the person diverting drugs is parent of terminally ill child.

Nurses General Nursing

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Specializes in Hospice / Psych / RNAC.
Thinking objectively, she didn't really prevent him from getting that pain medication except for the short time she disconnected. those drips are set at hourly rates and when the bag is empty you replace it. (Someone doing this would be caught pretty fast , since how much is infused is obviously closely monitored)

I work with the terminally ill and I guess i would just imagine an appropriate nursing dx may be"disabled coping mechanism" I'm not so quick to think that this mom is a horrible human being but perhaps needs some major mental health support in this tragic situation. not justifying her behavior at all just empathetic to what might be the underlying factors involved.

I couldn't have said it any better. You are a true benefit to hospice nursing. The mom was living in WA and the father was raising the child. She came to visit according to other stories I've read. The boy was never compromised and the mother is a recovering addict of two years. I can't even imagine the pain that women is in. I'm not justifying her action but as nurses we need to understand why these things happen.

Can any of you who have been so harsh on her ever imagine yourself possibly doing something like that if driven far enough or even be able to cross that line and understand with compassion; be able to walk in her shoes and really understand what makes a person do something like that?

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Specializes in ER, ICU, SICU,(Critical Care).

Having been in the Marine Corps for 12 years, and being a "kid" guy, my first, gut reaction is................less than printable. But it starts off with "First you get a rusty butter knife"...................She is not a recovering anything.......

Then I read some of the post by my on-line colleagues, and it is true. I do not know her situation. I just know her child's. If she had gotten the drugs from the street, I can, under certain circumstances, understand taking the only avenue you think you have to help you cope with the suffering you are going through as you watch your child slowly succumb to a terminal illness. (I have, thankfully, been spared this horrible situation in my life)...........This seems to not be the case. From the limited amount of information, the one thing that stands out for me is that She took her child's medicine!! I could continue writing this reply, but it will always come back to just that. The drugs were more important than her child.

As for what should be done after, or before, her child transitions to the other side, it would take extraordinary circumstances for me to feel justification for what she did..............sorry

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Can you imagine what the rest of the family is going through, her poor husband. One thing all chemical abusers seem to have in common is a tendency not to think through the effects of their behavior on their family. That statement her husband made about the blood in the room where she was found unconcious being due to her cutting herself with a nail clipper, well that sounds a bit like an enabler statement. It is not possible for me to say from a distance but that was my first reaction when I read it.

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Specializes in M/S, MICU, CVICU, SICU, ER, Trauma, NICU.

I'm usually harsh, harsh, harsh.

For whatever reason though, I do not feel the urge to condemn the mother as quickly.

I do not agree with what she did AT ALL.

At the same time, I wonder what drove her to do this...after two years of sobriety...at what point...

I guess as a mom...her pain must be tremendous...I don't know...I just think watching a 15-year-old on life support...and having seen it...is horrific, difficult to be around, hence her need to numb..

Sad for all parties, and especially the family...

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Specializes in NICU, Post-partum.

To me, this story isn't even controversial.

The Mom is an addict that is taking away medication that her terminally ill son needs for her own selfish reasons.

A jail sentence probably needs to be delayed because of the son, not her...but when he dies, she needs to serve time in the slammer.

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Specializes in NICU.

Oh Lord, what a HORRIBLE story.

I agree with a number of the previous posters on here, she should have SUPERVISED visits with her son. When he passes, she should be forced into a rehab, or jail.

I feel like I am a pretty compassionate person. I understand the horrible pain this woman is gong through having lost a child myself. I CANNOT, however, understand UNHOOKING my DYING CHILD'S IV line and INJECTING MYSELF with medication that is meant to keep him pain free and calm. That is inexcusable, unacceptable, and MONSTROUS.

Yes this mother is under terrible stress. Yes this mother is losing a child. Yes, it is horrible to watch someone you love suffer and die. I've been there, and NEVER ONCE did it cross my mind to steal their drugs.

I don't care if she only "temporarily" stopped his med infusion as another poster here pointed out, she took enough from the tubing to knock herself unconscious and leave a substantial air bubble in the tubing that the staff states "could have killed him."

She is a SELFISH woman to do that. PERIOD. There are other ways to get drugs and string herself out if she is having trouble coping than to cause harm to a dying child.

I read in one of the articles that he was awaiting an intestinal transplant, and he has been in and out of the hospital ALL of his life. He is 15 now. Probably, he has suffered all his life. Nice to know that in the end, the ONE PERSON who is supposed to comfort him in his last days can't keep her mind off of herself long enough to do that. She has to cause problems and upset the rest of the family.

My prayers go out to them.

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Specializes in Emergency & Trauma/Adult ICU.
Can you imagine what the rest of the family is going through, her poor husband. One thing all chemical abusers seem to have in common is a tendency not to think through the effects of their behavior on their family. That statement her husband made about the blood in the room where she was found unconcious being due to her cutting herself with a nail clipper, well that sounds a bit like an enabler statement. It is not possible for me to say from a distance but that was my first reaction when I read it.

Agree -- while this child's father's pain must be terrible to begin with and has now been compounded by the world knowing of his wife's actions ... he has been enabling her for a long time, and this is a logical, though horrific, outcome of that path.

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Specializes in Rehab, Infection, LTC.

My first husband was desperately ill with end stage porphyria. I used to steal his morphine the same way this woman did.

It doesn't matter why you steal it...you are STEALING medication.

What should we do? Report these nurses to the board of nursing and the police. No matter what is going on in your life, there is NO defense to stealing a patient's medication to feed your own habit.

It has taken me years to get over the shame of what I did to my patients and my first husband. I tortured my husband because I diluted his morphine with saline so noone would know i was stealing it, thus he suffered in terrible pain because of me.

I was lucky I didn't go to jail or lose my license. The board of nursing allowed me to go to rehab with the strict promise that I would lose my license if I ever did anything else. I've been sober almost 7 yrs now. I was given a second chance I didn't deserve. Had noone ever turned me in, I would have kept stealing until I killed someone or killed myself.

If you know a nurse is diverting, TURN HER IN! and don't just turn her in to work. As mandated reporters, we are also supposed to notify the board we are aware or even suspect a nurse of stealing drugs. These rules are there for a reason..to protect the patient. If you don't turn the nurse in, someone WILL get hurt. It's up to you to stop it. Don't worry about what will happen to the nurse. That's the nurses responsibility, not yours. She is causing harm to patients, it must stop. She is breaking the law, it must stop.

don't let your compassion stop you from protecting the very people that trust us to help them...the patients.

Don't let your compassion want to take the consequences away from an addict. If I hadn't FINALLY been given consequences to my actions, I would have never stopped. I would be dead by now and probably caused the death of patients as well.

Have no sympathy for us, please. Empathy is fine but make us be accountable! It might save the life of someone you love.

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southernbeegirl...i love you.:redbeathe

i respect and honor you.

seriously.

not just this post, but all your posts, are so very insightful, raw, honest, and heartfelt.

we should all try and eminate you.

keep it going.

leslie

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Specializes in Rehab, Infection, LTC.
southernbeegirl...i love you.:redbeathe

i respect and honor you.

seriously.

not just this post, but all your posts, are so very insightful, raw, honest, and heartfelt.

we should all try and eminate you.

keep it going.

leslie

this means so much coming from you, leslie. thanks!

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