I don't know why but that statement makes my jaw clench up everytime I hear it.
I had a patient the other day ask me how I was going to insert a foley since "the head is down there, wont that hurt the baby?" For the love god, people .... come on .. 2 HOLES! SERIOUSLY!
and my favorite of all time ...
"Does that machine beep everytime I dilate?" .. this one left me speechless
Please share your "omg, no she didn't say/ask that" quotes
I too am annoyed by the calm reports of a 10 rating on the pain scale. Usually at this time I re-explain the pain scale and say something like- "a 10 would be similar to someone ripping your arm loose from your body." Or something else which will make them cringe. Then I ask them to re-rate. 90% of the time I then get a 6-7 or something that appears more normal, but there are Those Kind of People who calmly look at me and say, "9." If you are going to tell me you are a 10, you better be 1, Screaming out in horrendous pain, or 2. So pale and weak you can barely talk.
Sheesh!
I never found labor as painful as the ileitis bouts I've gotten. Those were so painful that I could not even talk and only waved annoying people away who wanted things like "What's your insurance?" I think I screamed out "the same!!" It was so painful that I was either basically not able to understsand what was going on around me, or I was uncousious while the pain wasn't happening. I don't know if I ever said "10" though. Later after being admitted, my roomate would tell our nurse when asked "Rate your pain."- oh, 8. Just sitting there watching tv. I figured she just wanted the pain pills.
When I worked as a home health aide, I had a patient who was contracted through the agency on aging, which means we can do everything from personal care to companionship to "light" housekeeping.
This woman never spoke to me except to give me orders on how to clean (or to point out when I missed a spot on the floor), never even learned my name. The last straw was when her sister went to pick up some medication from my pt's doctor's office, and it turned out the doctor had moved to a new building. My pt. wasn't familiar with that building, which happened to be in my neighborhood. I told her it was recently built, and told her where it was.
Later, as I'm still cleaning, the sister comes in with the meds, talking about the doctor's new location. My pt. waves a hand at me and says "Oh yes, MY MAID was just telling me about that." :angryfire
Oh yeah, I get irked when patients put their tray on the floor in the hall outside their room. Hospital, hotel, hospital, hotel they both start with H, but that's where it ends.
Love this thread...(you'll find I'm sporadically posted throughout!) Where else can you divulge all those inner irks!?
I also LOVE when I walk into the room for the first time to introduce myself and ask how MOM AND BABY are doing and I get, (before I get a word out except 'hi') "Oh good, we need diapers, formula, I need my pain meds-when is the IV coming out?-a spare pillow and -honey what did you want?-oh yeah, he needs towels, a blanket and pillow" and as I'm leaving to stock her up she follows with "I need to fill in a menu for tomorrow and will my husband get one?"
Hospital, my a$$
Um--okay.
I found this more when I worked PP-I would work a whole weekend (three 12 hour nights) and on Friday I had a patient as a fresh section so I had her all three nights and they are still calling me "my nurse" and don't know my freakin' name-even though I said it numerous times.
Just home from a 16 hour shift and one "nurse controlled delivery". It makes me grin from ear to ear to log and and read these responses. The only other people in the whole world who understand this life are other labor and delivery nursese. For some reason I get great pleasure from reading your responses and seeing just how universal our lives and responses are. Thank you for sharing.
I haven't read all of the posts in this long thread, so forgive me if I am repeating anything. There is a great comedian (clean!) named Brian Regan who has a really great bit about a trip to the ER where he discusses the 'rating' of his pain and our stupid 0-10 scale. We have him at home on DVD, but you can probably find the bit on youtube.com. He says he had read that childbirth was a 9 and having your femur snapped in half would be a 10 so he decided on 8--he didn't want the people on the broken femur ward to come after him to show him what a 10 really felt like. Check it out!!
I had an OB doc who whenever a dad asked for the honeymoon stitch, would say "I'm not doing this to please you buddy, and if you're so worried about it maybe we could stitch your foreskin back on, they say it's more fun for mom that way" The first time I heard her say that my jaw dropped and I had to leave the room to fall on the floor laughing!
"If they need more Spanish than that, they are lost. And look to the nurses as if 'RN' somehow translates to 'automatically fluent in Spanish. No kidding, I've seen this many times."
Friend or relative of patient, "Can I have some medicine too?" And when told no, "Why not? You got some aspirin or tylenol, I know. I can get it from the store, it's not like it's a prescription!" Well, please go to the store and help yourself!
"What time will the baby be born?" - no matter what stage of labor they are in. Also, even after I tell them I cannot predict that, and that everyone is different, when they change dilation or station they ask again!
Or when they go complete and they tell everyone the baby is coming right then!
When the patient has 20 relatives in the room and many of them want you to get them juice, crackers, food, etc. This is not a restaurant!
Family member or friends that eat in front of the patient who hasn't eaten for 12 hours or so... so sad and unthoughtful!
The patient that tells you their pain is a 10 at 1-2 cm! Boy, they have a long way to go!
The patient that tells you they need to push at -3 station with 3-4 dilation. I have no idea what that is about, but sometimes I'll get called in a patient's room 6 times in an hour with no change of the cervix but the same complaint!
And my last funny... my patient the other day was feeling sick, so I gave her these blue plastic bags we have for patients to vomit in, but when I handed it to her, she placed it over her mouth and nose and started breathing into. I stood there looking at her wondering what she was doing/thinking, and then she stopped and said, "Oh, are these not for your breathing?" Ha ha! Didn't she just tell me she was about to throw up?? That was the same family where the granmother yelled at the grandfather for spending too much time with their daughter and not letting her coach the patient on the breathing. This grandmother was also video taping the cervical checks and the epidural. The MD put a stop to that!
In L&D it is always something new and interesting every day!
Another nurse on my floor wasn't successful after attempting a restart on her pt's IV a couple of times and so asked me to try. I'm usually pretty good, and am always up for a challenge, so of course I went in. The pt was totally cool w/the situation, I walked in greeting him with a big smile, introduced my self, you know, the whole bit, him being receptive and all, very pleasant. So, I start looking over his arms, and I knew he thought I looked pretty young, he was an older man, 70's or so. I'm 25, and I do look younger, get it all the time. Anyway, he was just trying to figure out my age/experience I was guessing, so he starts a little small talk....the same ol....how long you been doing this/are you any good at this? kinda thing.....not wanting me to think he was meaning it the wrong way. So I come back at him with a jokingly tone, hey, what are you talking about, I'm pretty good, I've been doing this for over 50 yrs!!! He just smiled and thought to himself for a minute, finally realizing what I had just said, and started chuckling!! Of course I got it on the 1st stick!!:wink2:
When a mother comes to visit her baby in the NICU-The baby just happens to be on oxygen, lines, maxium support-hooked up to every machine in the unit- and says: Even tho I had no prenatal care- used cocaine and speed every day and am malnurished- The baby will be just FINE! I know this because my last 3 babies were!
Nathan1097
3 Posts
I never found labor as painful as the ileitis bouts I've gotten. Those were so painful that I could not even talk and only waved annoying people away who wanted things like "What's your insurance?" I think I screamed out "the same!!" It was so painful that I was either basically not able to understsand what was going on around me, or I was uncousious while the pain wasn't happening. I don't know if I ever said "10" though. Later after being admitted, my roomate would tell our nurse when asked "Rate your pain."- oh, 8. Just sitting there watching tv. I figured she just wanted the pain pills.