I don't know why but that statement makes my jaw clench up everytime I hear it.
I had a patient the other day ask me how I was going to insert a foley since "the head is down there, wont that hurt the baby?" For the love god, people .... come on .. 2 HOLES! SERIOUSLY!
and my favorite of all time ...
"Does that machine beep everytime I dilate?" .. this one left me speechless
Please share your "omg, no she didn't say/ask that" quotes
Patient (Mom or Dad) brings newborn to the nursery and tells us...."No pacifiers, No formula and don't bring the baby back to the room until the next scheduled breastfeeding" which they want to be about 3 hours after the last feeding!!! So what do they suggest I do with their hungry, rooting, screaming child??
OOOHHHHHH makes me soooo crazy!!!
Uggggh! That makes me soooo glad that we don't have a nursery anymore although we somehow still get coerced into "watching" ppls babys at the desk-so much for rooming in. I love these ppl that try to force THEIR schedule on their newborn-I sometimes say to them-"did you give your daughter a copy of her feeding schedule so she knows when she should be hungry or....?"..Jeez.
It'd be tempting to reply "My probation officer though it would be a good way to reintroduce me to society."
Oh good lord! I love that!
I've been asked the same question (You're a NURSE? )
But then, back in nursing school I even had one of my preceptors tell me that she didn't like the idea of males being nurses. -I mean, what the heck was I supposed to say to THAT? Thats when you know its going to be a LOOONG semester.
Had an old lady (patient) once ask me what made me become a nurse, though, and I smiled and told her I couldn't hack it as a truck driver (she laughed herself silly. Turns out her late husband had been a long-haul driver I was for two years, then hauling fuel locally put me through the nursing program) -always waved when she saw me after that. It was cool because this was one of those patients who seemed to manage to be a thorn in the side of most of the staff) -whatever it was, she thought I pretty nearly walked on water after that.
I'm a male Registered Nurse. What really irks me is when patients say (after I've assisted them, etc.): "Thank you Dr..." Then I explain my position. Tomorrow I do something (great hopefully) for the patient - his /her reply: "Thank you Dr...", Well, I give up!
Specializes in Oncology, Apheresis, Clinical Research.
I once had a teenage girl say to me (while I was drawing her blood) that she could never be a nurse because she doesn't enjoy inflicting pain upon other people!!! :uhoh21: Concentrating on that blood draw was all I could do to hold back the urge to snap, "Oh yeah, that's exactly why I went into nursing--because I just love to hurt people!"
So many of your complaints are so familiar!! I can't stop laughing!
Wait, check this one:
I had a pt couple of nights ago that was being induced for severe PIH. I was at the station watching the strip when I saw the baby starting a bad decel. I had already reviewed some of the things we do when/if baby has any distress so seeing that, I went into the room and told her what I saw and that I needed her to turn on her left side. She was on the phone and looked me dead in the eye and said "I'm on the phone. Can this wait?" I said "NO!" She ignored me and went right on ahead to ask her husband "Honey, did you put the Mercedes in the garage?" I was floored! By then, FHR was in the 60's! I wasn't chatting anymore. I grabbed the chux under her, hauled her on her side towards me and threw a face mask on her while she was still yapping.
Her baby is not getting enough oxygen and she is worried about her car? Unbelievable!
Tonight my patient was leaning over, drooling and about to vomit into a basin, explainaing that she can't eat or drink anything without throwing it all up. Husband calls. Not only does she answer the phone, still holding basin up by chin, but she then tells him to hold on and asks me if she can eat a Big Mac!
Later, husband shows up with the Mcdonald's bags and I stop him in the hallway and give him a pen, explaining he will have to label her food and put it in the fridge since she is vomiting and shouldn't eat. His response "But I can still eat, right?"
LOL!! You're a total smarta$$ like me! Too funny. I love it
"So what time is the baby going to be born?" If I could predict this I would be very rich!
"How much does the baby weigh?" Right after birth, while the baby is still on mom's chest, or as the NICU team is bagging the baby. Maybe we should make sure the baby is breathing first.
I know my job is to educate people, but sometimes it takes all of my willpower to not say something I would regret.
"Oh my, am I on a roll now, cuz I just remembered my all time favorite. FOB is married, but not to patient. FOB's wife calls L&D unit (several times) but on the time that I answer the phone, she wants to know how far the patient is dilated and how much longer until she delivers. I explain to her that I cannot tell her that and I will transfer her call to patient if she would like, she gets upset and refuses to be transfered to patient's room, then tells me that she has a "right" to know because her husband is FOB and she needs to know when he will be home!! "
You definately did the right thing, but I really feel so sorry for her. Her husband is a jerk!
"Am i allergic to latex? Well, when i pull on a pair of latex gloves, and my skin will get red right where the cuff gets snapped on my skin, that's it." In other words, she pulled the gloves on tight and the cuff would snap back and leave a mark (replies the nurse). Pt. says 'yes'.
Case (C-section) was treated as "latex allergy". With that kind of answer, it was hard to be 100% sure, so just had to treat it as such.
" Do you know what you are doing?" I had a patient ask that question when I came in to start her IV. I said, "Well, I did stay at a Holiday Inn last night quote]
That's the second post about Holiday Inn. What does it mean? I've never heard that.
" Do you know what you are doing?" I had a patient ask that question when I came in to start her IV. I said, "Well, I did stay at a Holiday Inn last night quote]
That's the second post about Holiday Inn. What does it mean? I've never heard that.
It's a reference to a imho truly stupid TV commercial which depicts a "professional" as he picks up the scalpel or takes off in the helicopter (pretending to be someone who needs a lot of training and skill) says, "NO, I"m not a ***, but I stayed in a Holiday Inn last night".
It's a reference to a imho truly stupid TV commercial which depicts a "professional" as he picks up the scalpel or takes off in the helicopter (pretending to be someone who needs a lot of training and skill) says, "NO, I"m not a ***, but I stayed in a Holiday Inn last night".
Thank you. I don't believe I've seen that one. You're right, it sounds pretty stupid.
SuperFlyRN
108 Posts
Uggggh! That makes me soooo glad that we don't have a nursery anymore although we somehow still get coerced into "watching" ppls babys at the desk-so much for rooming in. I love these ppl that try to force THEIR schedule on their newborn-I sometimes say to them-"did you give your daughter a copy of her feeding schedule so she knows when she should be hungry or....?"..Jeez.