What irks me?
I get irked when the patient's family asks me for the seventh time, isn't it time to call the doctor? "Um, no, the doctor does not want to sit here and wait for you to dilate from six to ten centimeters and then push for two hours" left unsaid of course.
I get irked when the grandmother asks for the seventh time if we should proceed to Cesarean Section because she had all six of her kids in two hours and her daughter is still in labor with her first baby four hours after arrival.
I get irked when the patient doesn't want me to place a fetal scalp electrode despite persistent decelerations and difficulty keeping the kid on the external fetal monitor.....but plans a circumcision tomorrow.
I get irked when seventeen year olds come in with a six page birth plan that dictates what WORDS I can use to describe a contraction ("the nurse shall not use the word contraction or pain, but rather surge and pressure"). But my favorite is the 41 and 5/7 week gestation 17 year old patient refusing pitocin induction of labor in favor of more natural methods of induction like "thumbsucking and sexual intercourse". For real, folks.
Oh yeah, I get irked when patients put their tray on the floor in the hall outside their room. Hospital, hotel, hospital, hotel they both start with H, but that's where it ends.
Thanks for the vent!
Don't worry about me--when patients inevitably thank me and tell me I did a great job, I always tell them that I am so blessed to have the coolest job in the world.