I don't know why but that statement makes my jaw clench up everytime I hear it.
I had a patient the other day ask me how I was going to insert a foley since "the head is down there, wont that hurt the baby?" For the love god, people .... come on .. 2 HOLES! SERIOUSLY!
and my favorite of all time ...
"Does that machine beep everytime I dilate?" .. this one left me speechless
Please share your "omg, no she didn't say/ask that" quotes
I don't understand why any nurse would get so bent out of shape over a patient in labor using a few curse words.
Not a big deal, unless directed at the nurse personally. If it becomes personal then I would say the nurse would have an issue with it and should resort to measures to get it stopped.
And there lies the point, some patients curse at the nurse and therefore are abusive. And sometimes the cursing is clearly being used in an abusive manner and we do not have to take it.
There is a difference from a random word, and those that are doing it just to get away with something, and to harass those around them.
And in 11 years of carrying for terminal/seriously ill cancer patient, I have never had to put up with a patient abusively cursing at me or about my actions more than once. When I told them politely ("not high and mighty") that was not acceptable, they stopped, apoligized, do not do it again, and still wanted me as their nurse.
All of us need and should respect limits. We do a serious deservice to others when we permit bad behavior "because they are stressed" or they " are sick and hurting". Such behavior just alienates the staff, loved ones, and friends. It drives away/ hurts those that will need to help and care for the patient when they leave the hospital.
When we, as nurses, allow unacceptable behavior to continue, it invariably worsening and spreads. When we listen to the vent and then indicate that abusive language will not be tolerated, people "suddenly" find it unnecessary to do it.
And there lies the point, some patients curse at the nurse and therefore are abusive. And sometimes the cursing is clearly being used in an abusive manner and we do not have to take it.
There is a difference from a random word, and those that are doing it just to get away with something, and to harass those around them.
And in 11 years of carrying for terminal/seriously ill cancer patient, I have never had to put up with a patient abusively cursing at me or about my actions more than once. When I told them politely ("not high and mighty") that was not acceptable, they stopped, apoligized, do not do it again, and still wanted me as their nurse.
All of us need and should respect limits. We do a serious deservice to others when we permit bad behavior "because they are stressed" or they " are sick and hurting". Such behavior just alienates the staff, loved ones, and friends. It drives away/ hurts those that will need to help and care for the patient when they leave the hospital.
When we, as nurses, allow unacceptable behavior to continue, it invariably worsening and spreads. When we listen to the vent and then indicate that abusive language will not be tolerated, people "suddenly" find it unnecessary to do it.
If you read my post you should understand that I agree if it becomes personal
the nurse has the right to do something about it.
As long as it is not personally directed at me, it's really not any of my business. {or yours}
Nurses are not there to police or correct people's behavior, UNLESS AS I STATED, IT IS A DIRECT ATTACK UPON THE NURSE, or if it'a psyche unit where people need help with behaviour resulting from mental illnesses.
I was in the ER one night because I crammed a piece of wood halfway up my thumbnail and yes, I did use a few choice curse words, and I wish that I hadn't.....I don't normally curse, but I did that night. It was not directed at the one who was trying to help me. It was because I was in pain, and sometimes pain makes people say things they shouldn't, but it doesn't mean it is an attack at the nurse.
Come on......a woman in labor might say something she shouldn't but that doesn't mean it's directed at you. Maybe she's thinking about the man who got her in that shape.
I still think we should let things go, and ignore most of it, UNLESS it's a personal attack.
I won't take anything either, if it's personal. I just know that MOST people won't normally say or do anything bad or offensive.
And there lies the point, some patients curse at the nurse and therefore are abusive. And sometimes the cursing is clearly being used in an abusive manner and we do not have to take it.
There is a difference from a random word, and those that are doing it just to get away with something, and to harass those around them.
And in 11 years of carrying for terminal/seriously ill cancer patient, I have never had to put up with a patient abusively cursing at me or about my actions more than once. When I told them politely ("not high and mighty") that was not acceptable, they stopped, apoligized, do not do it again, and still wanted me as their nurse.
All of us need and should respect limits. We do a serious deservice to others when we permit bad behavior "because they are stressed" or they " are sick and hurting". Such behavior just alienates the staff, loved ones, and friends. It drives away/ hurts those that will need to help and care for the patient when they leave the hospital.
When we, as nurses, allow unacceptable behavior to continue, it invariably worsening and spreads. When we listen to the vent and then indicate that abusive language will not be tolerated, people "suddenly" find it unnecessary to do it.
Weren't you the one who said that you'd tell me to watch my mouth if I said the F word while in labor? How does that jive with your current stance about only saying something if it becomes abusive?
You say that "bad behavior alienates staff, loved ones and friends". If saying F--K in labor will alienate staff, loved ones and friends, I've got the wrong friends, the wrong loved ones and definately the wrong medical team.
I seriously question the notion that we do a diservice to our patients by listening to them vent, even if they are using "abusive language". I think we do an even bigger diservice to patients by focusing on their choice of adjectives rather than the underlying intent of what they are saying.
I think the focus should remain on the patient, not diverted to the nurse and what he/she finds "appropriate" or "unacceptable".
Further, assuming the cursing is not abusive (directed AT the nurse or doctor, whomever) what possible good can come out of telling a patient what he can/cannot say? I submit that you do not have a right to tell a patient what he can/cannot say under any circumstances. If patient is being abusive, telling him/her it's not appreciated is fine, but telling him it won't be tolerated? What does that even mean? Are you not going to provide care to a cursing (even if it is abusive) patient? So you pass patient off to someone else, what happens if the next nurse doesn't "tolerate" his cursing (even if it is abusive)? Do you see a scenario where the patient just lies in bed without any treatment because you don't like the words he's using? If so, how long do you think you're going to hold onto your license? I am trying to illustrate that telling a patient that something won't be tolerated is an imposition of your values on the patient and unless you are planning on withholding treatment, what does "won't be tolerated" even mean?
Weren't you the one who said that you'd tell me to watch my mouth if I said the F word while in labor? How does that jive with your current stance about only saying something if it becomes abusive?
You say that "bad behavior alienates staff, loved ones and friends". If saying F--K in labor will alienate staff, loved ones and friends, I've got the wrong friends, the wrong loved ones and definately the wrong medical team.
I seriously question the notion that we do a diservice to our patients by listening to them vent, even if they are using "abusive language". I think we do an even bigger diservice to patients by focusing on their choice of adjectives rather than the underlying intent of what they are saying.
I think the focus should remain on the patient, not diverted to the nurse and what he/she finds "appropriate" or "unacceptable".
Further, assuming the cursing is not abusive (directed AT the nurse or doctor, whomever) what possible good can come out of telling a patient what he can/cannot say? I submit that you do not have a right to tell a patient what he can/cannot say under any circumstances. If patient is being abusive, telling him/her it's not appreciated is fine, but telling him it won't be tolerated? What does that even mean? Are you not going to provide care to a cursing (even if it is abusive) patient? So you pass patient off to someone else, what happens if the next nurse doesn't "tolerate" his cursing (even if it is abusive)? Do you see a scenario where the patient just lies in bed without any treatment because you don't like the words he's using? If so, how long do you think you're going to hold onto your license? I am trying to illustrate that telling a patient that something won't be tolerated is an imposition of your values on the patient and unless you are planning on withholding treatment, what does "won't be tolerated" even mean?
Adri
I agree. I'd like to know what "won't be tolerated" means.
Since when do nurses police or correct people's behaviour?
I sure don't have virgin ears, nor am I so sinless that I can't tolerate a patient saying something inappropriate.....unless it's a personal attack.
Good grief. Who can throw the first stone here?
Unless it's personal and directed at the nurse...let it go.
I love when pts come to doctor and tell me " I have bronchitis. I need a shot and a prescription for antibiotics and cough medicine." sheesh, should I tell the doctor he can just skip this room and then open the sample closet up for the patient?? Here, help yourself, you don't need us!
I love when pts come to doctor and tell me " I have bronchitis. I need a shot and a prescription for antibiotics and cough medicine." sheesh, should I tell the doctor he can just skip this room and then open the sample closet up for the patient?? Here, help yourself, you don't need us!
For me, I don't like when they they say they want an epidural but no IV because the IV hurts too much:lol_hitti. Like the epidural is so much less painful.
Elderly patients are so much better when it comes to IV's. I had one woman whose vein I blew ask if she could have the same pretty color to match on her other hand:chuckle
The other thing that irks me is when a patient asks when the baby will be born and if I know the sex? If I could tell you when the birth would ocur, I'd be rich and if you know the sex, I don't.
Oh and the other thing is smokers who have and epidural. "Can I go for a smoke? It is a walking epidural right?" Even if you didn't have an epidural we wouldn't let you out until after your recovery in our hospital.
What about telling a patient in labor not to yell so loud because it's disturbing other patients? I've heard people say this happened to them.
I wouldn't think it would be inappropriate to ask the patient to try to be a bit more quiet, but I would offer ways to help them reach that goal. Such as doing deep breathing exercises with them, etc. If they were physically unable to stop themselves from yelling that loud, I might ask that they yell into a pillow if they were able to. If not, I guess you just hope for a quick delivery. Some cultures are more demonstrative than others in their reactions to pain, grief, etc. I don't think it would be at all helpful or appropriate to insinuate to a patient that their expressions of pain are unacceptable, what could that possibly accomplish?
Some cultures are more demonstrative than others in their reactions to pain, grief, etc. I don't think it would be at all helpful or appropriate to insinuate to a patient that their expressions of pain are unacceptable, what could that possibly accomplish?
caroladybelle, BSN, RN
5,486 Posts
And there lies the point, some patients curse at the nurse and therefore are abusive. And sometimes the cursing is clearly being used in an abusive manner and we do not have to take it.
There is a difference from a random word, and those that are doing it just to get away with something, and to harass those around them.
And in 11 years of carrying for terminal/seriously ill cancer patient, I have never had to put up with a patient abusively cursing at me or about my actions more than once. When I told them politely ("not high and mighty") that was not acceptable, they stopped, apoligized, do not do it again, and still wanted me as their nurse.
All of us need and should respect limits. We do a serious deservice to others when we permit bad behavior "because they are stressed" or they " are sick and hurting". Such behavior just alienates the staff, loved ones, and friends. It drives away/ hurts those that will need to help and care for the patient when they leave the hospital.
When we, as nurses, allow unacceptable behavior to continue, it invariably worsening and spreads. When we listen to the vent and then indicate that abusive language will not be tolerated, people "suddenly" find it unnecessary to do it.