I don't know why but that statement makes my jaw clench up everytime I hear it.
I had a patient the other day ask me how I was going to insert a foley since "the head is down there, wont that hurt the baby?" For the love god, people .... come on .. 2 HOLES! SERIOUSLY!
and my favorite of all time ...
"Does that machine beep everytime I dilate?" .. this one left me speechless
Please share your "omg, no she didn't say/ask that" quotes
I agree. I'd like to know what "won't be tolerated" means.
Since when do nurses police or correct people's behaviour?
I sure don't have virgin ears, nor am I so sinless that I can't tolerate a patient saying something inappropriate.....unless it's a personal attack.
Good grief. Who can throw the first stone here?
The person that is cursing is the one "throwing the stone".
It has nothing to do with "high and mighty" behavior, it has nothing to do with"sinless" behavior. And it certainly has nothing to do with "virgin" ears(though quite frankly, there are nurses that live pristine, "virgin" lives that are shown grave disrespect by such an attitude)
It has to do with appropriate, therapeutic and civilized behavior. behavior.
Since when do nurses police or correct behavior. Pretty much the same time that, police "police" behavior, MDs "police" behavior of how their patients treat them, and teachers "correct" behavior.
It became necessary, when people ceased to obey any rules, feel themselves above all others to the point that they feel acceptable to treat them disrespectfully.
It gives no thought to all the others (other patients, visitors, staff) the are forced to listen to this. And it is abusive to them and their rights to a nonharassing workplace/emotionally healthy environment.
As to the question to Marie, as to what is done about it. I know what caring hospitals do. They have the Charge Nurse/DON assess the situation, and if they find the behavior unacceptable/abusive, they speak to the patient/visitor/MD involved. If the visitor/patient/MD do not agree to clean up their act, they may be transferred when medically stable to a more appropriate venue or leave AMA. And if they behavior is abusive enough, legal charges will be filed. And if visitors are involved, they will be escorted and barred by security from the property.
And before you ask, while I have never had to initiate such a situation (patients, for the most part, are quite capable of dealing with polite, appropriate requests). But I have been on the floor, when this has happened several times. In a hospital, that consistantly ranks among the top 10 in this nation. And interestingly, they are rarely short of patients or of staff.
The patients choose to alter their behavior in most cases. In a couple, they left AMA (very medically stable). A visitor or two have been carried out by security (yes, carried). And at least one or two that talked about transfer, could not find other MDs/places that would accept them (wonder why??? I guess some other places also require patients to behave appropriately).
Again, there is a difference between dementia patients and those that are abusive. No one is suggesting that all cursing is abusive. But nurses should not have to put up with language, that would not be acceptable when directed at a teacher, MD, or other professional.
Some of these have me laughing so hard!!! I always have to bite my tongue when I have the new mom or father ask where the baby is going to stay during the night? UMM with you guys. And the response is..but we are really tired and want to sleep.... Hello welcome to parenthood..sleeping is now just a distant memory.
Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.
I would agree with the above post. What you say, what you do, how you come across is *everything* to your sometimes-vulnerable patients. Tread carefully. They will remember you for years, perhaps their entire lives.
I don't know why but that statement makes my jaw clench up everytime I hear it.
I had a patient the other day ask me how I was going to insert a foley since "the head is down there, wont that hurt the baby?" For the love god, people .... come on .. 2 HOLES! SERIOUSLY!
and my favorite of all time ...
"Does that machine beep everytime I dilate?" .. this one left me speechless
Please share your "omg, no she didn't say/ask that" quotes
I had a mom who insisted to me (I was taking a history on a peds patient) that she had her baby "rectally." I said, "Oh, you mean lady partslly?" - reply - "No, rectally."
She repeated her birth story and how she had him "rectally" multiple times throughout the stay. I was just kind of speechless... and this was a woman who had had 4 kids!!
Some of these have me laughing so hard!!! I always have to bite my tongue when I have the new mom or father ask where the baby is going to stay during the night? UMM with you guys. And the response is..but we are really tired and want to sleep.... Hello welcome to parenthood..sleeping is now just a distant memory.
After a uterine tear, losing too much blood and having my baby under general, I admit my husband and I asked the nurses to take our newborn for the night! Remember, a c-section IS major surgery. It's funny how we expect so much out of c-section moms but if the same woman had an open appy, we'd be waiting on her hand and foot for the first 24H, as well we should!
Yes a cesarean is a major surgery...but the husband is not the one who had it! he should be ready and willing and eager to help with his new baby, not to mention helping the mother of his baby and not just sleeping like a lump that does not stir all night long. the interesting thing is that when we do take a baby out to the desk for the night, they usually sleep quietly, just like they would have in the room. granted if a fresh c-section mom is alone, with no support persons, we do everything we can to help with the baby. The husband did not just go through labor and give birth
I Also think that any woman who is giving birth should be allowed to make as much noise as they want. it is not the cultural norm in the us, but making low, throat noises during pushing can be very helpful. Labor hurts... anyone on the l&D unit should know that these women are going through the hardest moments of thier lives,.
Hate to say it but my husband did go through labor and birth both times I did, he just didn't do the physical, but he was there at my side and emotionally (both of which can be exhausting d/t length of labor or emergency situations), I've never seen my husband at tired as the morning my son was born, I labored ALL NIGHT and then had an emergency c-section under general, my husband isn't a medical person and was scared to death (an abruption is scary looking to anyone) and worried about losing his wife and child. So needless to say my son spent his first night from about 11pm till about 5am in the nursery and we both slept (besides I got plenty of sleepless nights after we were discharged home so why not take advantage that you have someone to help you while you are in the hospital?) 3/4 area hospitals have nurseries (1 has rooming in w/only a special care nursery) and I encourage moms to let baby go to nursery so they can sleep or nap during the day and so do the postpartum nurses.
When I had my first baby, I worked a 16 hour shift, went home and was unable to sleep due to the labor pains (which my doctor ASSURED me were Braxton-Hicks), and finally went to the hospital after being awake for over 24 hours...I was only at the hospital for 15 minutes before she was born, but I was TIRED...and I was in no condition to take care of a newborn without help from the nurses. I fully expect new parents to take care of their babies, but I also have the realistic expectation that the mother did just go through a major body change and that she deserves the chance to rest if she can. When an older child is sick and in the hospital, we often give the parents a chance to nap, take a break, go home to shower, etc...why do we have a problem offering that to someone who just went through labor, delivery, c-section, or whatever...
When I had my first baby, I worked a 16 hour shift, went home and was unable to sleep due to the labor pains (which my doctor ASSURED me were Braxton-Hicks), and finally went to the hospital after being awake for over 24 hours...I was only at the hospital for 15 minutes before she was born, but I was TIRED...and I was in no condition to take care of a newborn without help from the nurses. I fully expect new parents to take care of their babies, but I also have the realistic expectation that the mother did just go through a major body change and that she deserves the chance to rest if she can. When an older child is sick and in the hospital, we often give the parents a chance to nap, take a break, go home to shower, etc...why do we have a problem offering that to someone who just went through labor, delivery, c-section, or whatever...
I agree. Of course the parents are going to have to care for the baby 24/7 when they get home. And those first couple of months are going to be very hard on the bodies of EVERYONE in the family. So what is wrong with letting mom and dad rest a little, at least the first night after having the baby? Why is it so wrong to ask for the baby to sleep in the nursery (if they have one) so the parents can get at least one good night's sleep to recover and prepare them for discharge?
I haven't had kids yet myself, but keep seeing friends and coworkers having c-sections and being expected to be out of bed, caring for the baby (often without the help of their husbands, who are home caring for their other children), and then either not recoving well or even reopening their incision - has happened to half the women I know who had sections! Please! When I had my appendix out, they didn't even let me get out of bed for 8 hours, and then I was only allowed to the bathroom for the first 24 hours. But if I had my entire belly cut open for a c-section, I'd be expected to be up caring for a newborn during the first 24 hours? It just seems so skewed to me. I'm sure I'm in for a rude awakening someday.
Sadly, not all nurses deserve credit. When I was in labor I uttered the "F" word while in the throes of contractions only to have my wonderful nurse tell me (during the throes of contractions) that she "didnt' appreciate my foul language and would appreciate it if I would cease".
Luckily I had a friend with me who was a nurse too, he told her that if her sensibilities were too delicate to bear hearing the "F" word, perhaps she shouldn't work around people in intense pain. /QUOTE]
Sorry, but severe pain does not give you the right to use abusive language. I would have said the same thing. And I deal with patients in severe pain and dying frequently. Most of whom do not use the "F" word, despite the fact that they are eaten up by cancer.
And certain uses of the "F" word most certainly are abusive, and a busive language is not acceptable when some is trying to assist you.
Wow!! If a nurse did that to me they would have definately had an earful! I said the F word once during my labor with first dd and was definately apologetic after I could catch my breath enough to do so. The F word is NOT a part of my normal vocabulary but I did a 13 year stint in the AF and, believe me, I heard it a lot. It just sort of slipped out when my brain was not thinking because of the PAIN!!! Had any nurse chosen to lecture me at that moment about my choice of words I would have asked them to leave and not come back! Respect goes both ways and the only way that I could see reprimanding a patient in pain for slipping up is if they said "F*** You" to the nurse. Simply saying the word when it isn't directed at someone is not abusive. All of the nurses with me at the time said "don't worry dear, just work on getting this baby born!"
Believe me when I say I was embarrassed though. My mom (who has never heard me say the word) was in the room too. I even apologized the next day to her and she didn't have a problem with it either.
to help you while you are in the hospital?) 3/4 area hospitals have nurseries (1 has rooming in w/only a special care nursery) and I encourage moms to let baby go to nursery so they can sleep or nap during the day and so do the postpartum nurses.
caroladybelle, BSN, RN
5,486 Posts
The person that is cursing is the one "throwing the stone".
It has nothing to do with "high and mighty" behavior, it has nothing to do with"sinless" behavior. And it certainly has nothing to do with "virgin" ears(though quite frankly, there are nurses that live pristine, "virgin" lives that are shown grave disrespect by such an attitude)
It has to do with appropriate, therapeutic and civilized behavior. behavior.
Since when do nurses police or correct behavior. Pretty much the same time that, police "police" behavior, MDs "police" behavior of how their patients treat them, and teachers "correct" behavior.
It became necessary, when people ceased to obey any rules, feel themselves above all others to the point that they feel acceptable to treat them disrespectfully.
It gives no thought to all the others (other patients, visitors, staff) the are forced to listen to this. And it is abusive to them and their rights to a nonharassing workplace/emotionally healthy environment.
As to the question to Marie, as to what is done about it. I know what caring hospitals do. They have the Charge Nurse/DON assess the situation, and if they find the behavior unacceptable/abusive, they speak to the patient/visitor/MD involved. If the visitor/patient/MD do not agree to clean up their act, they may be transferred when medically stable to a more appropriate venue or leave AMA. And if they behavior is abusive enough, legal charges will be filed. And if visitors are involved, they will be escorted and barred by security from the property.
And before you ask, while I have never had to initiate such a situation (patients, for the most part, are quite capable of dealing with polite, appropriate requests). But I have been on the floor, when this has happened several times. In a hospital, that consistantly ranks among the top 10 in this nation. And interestingly, they are rarely short of patients or of staff.
The patients choose to alter their behavior in most cases. In a couple, they left AMA (very medically stable). A visitor or two have been carried out by security (yes, carried). And at least one or two that talked about transfer, could not find other MDs/places that would accept them (wonder why??? I guess some other places also require patients to behave appropriately).
Again, there is a difference between dementia patients and those that are abusive. No one is suggesting that all cursing is abusive. But nurses should not have to put up with language, that would not be acceptable when directed at a teacher, MD, or other professional.