I was working a night shift on a tele floor as a new Nurse.
We had this one poor old lady who was confused and was restrained as usual for her safety. She was our designated resident nightmare geri from hell, so she was placed near the Nurse's station.
So we are chilling out at the Nurse's station, chatting and trying to get through another night...
Suddenly, out of the corner of my eye, I see our lady in question standing in the dimly lit doorway of her room!
I instantly leap out and run to her. As I approach her, she appears to be falling towards me, so I meet her in a bear hug...my arms around her waste, and her arms around my shoulders.
As I catch the lady, I notice a very strong smell of feces, and I feel something warm on my hands, arms and shoulders...
My fellow heroes come in behind me, and as the lights are turned on, my worst fears are instantly realized.
Yes, I caught the poor old lady with a good old bear hung football catch, but I was also covered in the lady's feces.
As I look at her, she has feces smeared all over her arms and hands... (and even her face!)
Here'a your answer. There is NO excuse for that, and I'm surprised she hasn't been fired!!!:angryfire
Thank God she is a floater and we don't see her very often - we complain when Nursing Office sends her our way and then call and ask them to send her home.
I work in CCU, and one night we got in this 27 y/o GI bleed. He was a heavy ETOH user who had esophageal varices. Anyway, the guy was NPO, vomiting bright red blood, and complaining heartily about how thirsty he was. The GI doc walked into his room only to find him drinking his own bloody vomit. Pretty disgusting IMO. Unfortunately, this guy is a frequent flyer. =(
These are some of the funniest, nastiest stories I have ever heard. I have set here reading them all laughing and gagging, but coming back for more. LOL:p
Yesterday I took care of a patient from the local long term psych unit. She was in the self injurous unit. She stated she tried to scratch her eye out but it didn't work. Needless to say, she had a number of corneal abrasions and a possible global rupture (small). As a bonus, she is a pt who touches inappropriately and she copped a feel while I was doing her assessment. What a wonderful day it was......NOT!
Specializes in medical with other stuff chucked in!.
I remember the time when I was a care assistant on a general ward. An old lady was admitted from the minor injuries unit with concusion after a fall. I went into her cubicle one afternoon to find her covered in blood, i thought "oh my God!!!!!". I didn't know where all the blood had all come from. On closer insepection, it seemed to be coming from her hand. When i cleansed it, to my horror i saw that she had ripped her thumb nail off and had gouged out the soft flesh underneath. The thumb got dressed. About 2 hours later i went passed her cubicle, again she was covered in blood - and again she had gouged her nail bed having pulled off her dressing. It was horrible, she kept doing this, and in the end we had to put cotton mittens on to stop her doing it. EWWWW!!!!! :eek:
we had a dead body come in for M.E. exam to b done. He had been dead for somewhere around 2 weeks at home. One problem. He had a dog. A mexican hairless. We it got hungrey. It started at the guys groin and went up into his abdomen. He also ate anything else soft on the guy. Needless to say they put the dog down. They didn't really trust it after that.
Specializes in LTC, CPR instructor, First aid instructor..
Yesterday I took care of a patient from the local long term psych unit. She was in the self injurous unit. She stated she tried to scratch her eye out but it didn't work. Needless to say, she had a number of corneal abrasions and a possible global rupture (small). As a bonus, she is a pt who touches inappropriately and she copped a feel while I was doing her assessment. What a wonderful day it was......NOT!
I was working in LTC. In a 5 bed room one of the confused gents used to roll up balls of his poo and set them along the siderail of the bed....to dry I suppose. We catch another confused gent at his bedside at 3 AM rounds. He was stealing the first fellows chocolate drops and eating them as fast as he could. Agggghhh!!
LOL from home comes in to my ER with huge festering bump on her head. ER MD lances it with me in assist to do the mop up. It was filled with maggots.
Doing home health visits to a a rather derelict looking couple in a run down house in rural New England area. As is go in, the kitchen floor is like a mine field of dog poo. A snarling snapping german shepard is tied to the washing machine on what appears to be a rather flimsy looking string. Every piece of mail, and garbage they have ever received or generated in their life is stacked, almost to the ceiling, on the kitchen table.THERE IS NO CLEAN PLACE to put my nurses bag down, so I hang it on the door handle. The lady has stasis ulcers on her legs. She is bandaged from knees to ankles, and the bandages appear to be soaked with serous discharge....no wait, it's urine, hers! She is wearing shin high mocassins on her feet, which I must remove to get at the dressings. She thrusts her foot in my face for me to pull it off, and ye gawds, the soles of her feet are furcoated with dog fur and dust bunnies and dog poo. I want to scream and run, but that darned compassion kicked in and I found a bucket to soak and clean her feet(I use the term feet loosley here!) My tasks completed, I bid them adieu. As I grab my bag from the doorhandle, it slips from my hand and hits the floor with a clatter. This caused a mechanical gorilla on the top of the heap on the table to sing and dance the macarana. Strange how I never noticed it when I came in!!! Ok now I take to the hills screaming.
Laughed til I cried. Still laughng, can hardly type
I'm pretty new at this, the laughed til I cried was in reference to the nurse that had to do the ear irrigation. I've been having a whale of a time reading these posts that date back to August. Sitting here in the computer room, all by myself, laughing til I'm almost sick. The family think I've gone nuts. Only a nurse can really laugh at this horrific stuff. If I told them what it was they'd have me put away, I'm sure.:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:
:eek: 
FranEMTnurse, CNA, LPN, EMT-I
3,619 Posts