What Is Your Most Gross, Yucky, Disgusting Nursing Horror Story?

[yazisizit]

I was working a night shift on a tele floor as a new Nurse.

We had this one poor old lady who was confused and was restrained as usual for her safety. She was our designated resident nightmare geri from hell, so she was placed near the Nurse's station.

So we are chilling out at the Nurse's station, chatting and trying to get through another night...

Suddenly, out of the corner of my eye, I see our lady in question standing in the dimly lit doorway of her room!

I instantly leap out and run to her. As I approach her, she appears to be falling towards me, so I meet her in a bear hug...my arms around her waste, and her arms around my shoulders.

As I catch the lady, I notice a very strong smell of feces, and I feel something warm on my hands, arms and shoulders...

My fellow heroes come in behind me, and as the lights are turned on, my worst fears are instantly realized.

Yes, I caught the poor old lady with a good old bear hung football catch, but I was also covered in the lady's feces.

As I look at her, she has feces smeared all over her arms and hands... (and even her face!)

And of course, now so did I!

[Pattiecake]

Just like I said. Been here all night laughing myself sick to stuff that dates back to August

Pat

[gauge14iv, MSN, APRN, NP]

Pattie - I did the same thing - except I was sitting on the sofa with DH lauhing so hard I had tears rolling down my face - I'd read him a story or two and he'd just give me this blank look like "whats funny about THAT???"

My side hurt from laughing so hard....

strange thing is - since reading these, I went and bought one of those household steamers and a steam carpet cleaner and have sterilized my entire house....yup...thats right...boiled the ENTIRE house clean!!!!

[FranEMTnurse, CNA, LPN, EMT-I]

I was working in LTC. In a 5 bed room one of the confused gents used to roll up balls of his poo and set them along the siderail of the bed....to dry I suppose. We catch another confused gent at his bedside at 3 AM rounds. He was stealing the first fellows chocolate drops and eating them as fast as he could. Agggghhh!!

LOL from home comes in to my ER with huge festering bump on her head. ER MD lances it with me in assist to do the mop up. It was filled with maggots.

Doing home health visits to a a rather derelict looking couple in a run down house in rural New England area. As is go in, the kitchen floor is like a mine field of dog poo. A snarling snapping german shepard is tied to the washing machine on what appears to be a rather flimsy looking string. Every piece of mail, and garbage they have ever received or generated in their life is stacked, almost to the ceiling, on the kitchen table.THERE IS NO CLEAN PLACE to put my nurses bag down, so I hang it on the door handle. The lady has stasis ulcers on her legs. She is bandaged from knees to ankles, and the bandages appear to be soaked with serous discharge....no wait, it's urine, hers! She is wearing shin high mocassins on her feet, which I must remove to get at the dressings. She thrusts her foot in my face for me to pull it off, and ye gawds, the soles of her feet are furcoated with dog fur and dust bunnies and dog poo. I want to scream and run, but that darned compassion kicked in and I found a bucket to soak and clean her feet(I use the term feet loosley here!) My tasks completed, I bid them adieu. As I grab my bag from the doorhandle, it slips from my hand and hits the floor with a clatter. This caused a mechanical gorilla on the top of the heap on the table to sing and dance the macarana. Strange how I never noticed it when I came in!!! Ok now I take to the hills screaming.

Know what...we should put all this in a book.

I once worked with a fellow EMT whose house was like this. There was NO excuse for that with that person. I also have been in several houses like this, but at least they were patients. But the Gorilla was the one that got me laughing.:rotfl:

[boulergirl, CNA]

One of my co-workers told me that she walked into a resident's room one morning and said it looked like a crime scene. The lady living in there had bouts of projectile diarrhea that day and the evidence was all over the room, in every corner. My co-worker screamed for the maintenance man when she saw the mess--no way was she cleaning it by herself!

[polaris2000uk]

Just about to go out on a monday night drink, gotta love this student life!

Thought I'd share some stories from my limited experiences!

A morbidly obese lady was admitted for respite.....the type of morbid obesity that involves having 2 people trying to de-wedge her from the commode while the hoist strains. She had some kind of pee-ing aid stick, a kind of glass tube like a thermometer that i guessgave her some direction in trying to get it into a urine bottle, so we didnt have to hoist her to a commode every time she wanted to pee. I went in there one day, and enquired with the nurse in charge why we were still using a mercury thermometer, as i thought they had been banned. Needless to say, she had developed a taste for her own pee. Worse still, when she got sicker, she required one of us to hold this stick in place, but at least then we could clean it after!

A dementia patient who was fond of masturbating, we lost one day. he had somehow managed to find his way into the kitchen of the nursing home where he had his hand down his trousers (pants), using caramel flavoured angel delight as a lubricant. Have never been able to look at soft desserts in the same way ever again. I will never forget the smell.

Another patient with dementia who was fond of large phlegm loogies. He would wipe them on the cot side covers, so that anyone who went in and leaned over the bed would have a nice little addition to their uniform. It was not uncommon to walk in and find the patient hanging a loogie on a long phlegm thread above his mouth, and if you were lucky you would see it drop all the way in! This same patient would store them in his beaker, and take them out to inbibe at pleasure.

My girlfriend got hit in the eye from a nice flailing phlegm gloopy mass from a patient's trachi. She had red eye for a few days after, and I have always worn the regulation goggles since, even tho i scare the patient by wearing them.

Going to go drink away some memories now, hopefully not the ones i need to pass the exams!

[randys2]

Oh my GOD!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! EWWWWW!!!!!!!

:chair:

I think THAT would be enough to go into computer work! man!

[matt033174]

This is not mine

My brother is a Xray tech. He went to Nuclear Med school in Memphis and while in school he worked weekends as a tech. One night he got a call at 2 a.m. to do a barium enema on a 92 year old women who was DNR and on lots of MS. He feared she would code on him in Xray so he refused take her unless the resident who ordered the exam would come to xray with him. She was mad about it but finally came. He placed here at the foot of the bed behind a table that held his supplies. It hit here about the waist. He said as he went to insert the tip of the barium cath he felt resistance. He said as he turned to ask the resident if she did rectal exam he removed the tip. As he did the patient exploded all over the resident. He said that the poop covered her from table level all the way up and over her head. He said it even hit the wall behind her. Th only part of her upper body not covered was where her eyes where covered by glasses. He said she couldn't say anything due to the fact it was all over her mouth.

[randys2]

Ya, gotta love human services! LOLOLOLOL:rotfl:

This is not mine

My brother is a Xray tech. He went to Nuclear Med school in Memphis and while in school he worked weekends as a tech. One night he got a call at 2 a.m. to do a barium enema on a 92 year old women who was DNR and on lots of MS. He feared she would code on him in Xray so he refused take her unless the resident who ordered the exam would come to xray with him. She was mad about it but finally came. He placed here at the foot of the bed behind a table that held his supplies. It hit here about the waist. He said as he went to insert the tip of the barium cath he felt resistance. He said as he turned to ask the resident if she did rectal exam he removed the tip. As he did the patient exploded all over the resident. He said that the poop covered her from table level all the way up and over her head. He said it even hit the wall behind her. Th only part of her upper body not covered was where her eyes where covered by glasses. He said she couldn't say anything due to the fact it was all over her mouth.

[celticqueen]

This is not mine

My brother is a Xray tech. He went to Nuclear Med school in Memphis and while in school he worked weekends as a tech. One night he got a call at 2 a.m. to do a barium enema on a 92 year old women who was DNR and on lots of MS. He feared she would code on him in Xray so he refused take her unless the resident who ordered the exam would come to xray with him. She was mad about it but finally came. He placed here at the foot of the bed behind a table that held his supplies. It hit here about the waist. He said as he went to insert the tip of the barium cath he felt resistance. He said as he turned to ask the resident if she did rectal exam he removed the tip. As he did the patient exploded all over the resident. He said that the poop covered her from table level all the way up and over her head. He said it even hit the wall behind her. Th only part of her upper body not covered was where her eyes where covered by glasses. He said she couldn't say anything due to the fact it was all over her mouth.

Ha ha, that's really horrible :rotfl: .

Emma

[FranEMTnurse, CNA, LPN, EMT-I]

Ha ha, that's really horrible :rotfl: .

Emma

I can see it all now.

[Pattiecake]

I once worked with a fellow EMT whose house was like this. There was NO excuse for that with that person. I also have been in several houses like this, but at least they were patients. But the Gorilla was the one that got me laughing.:rotfl:

When I was doing home health a few years ago I went into a house where everything was made of welded together hub caps. When I say everything, I mean everything except the TV. Even the tiolet seat. It was like something out of the ravings of the recesses of a lunatic's mind. Who would want this? Why would someone want this? Very creative in a cluttered, metallic, sharp edged sort of way.

:uhoh21: :chuckle

[Pachinko]

You know, after reading this thread and almost crying with laughter and horror, my greatest surprise is the frequency with which morbidly obese women use their fat pads and breasts as ersatz purses. Milk cartons, sandwiches, kittens, spare change, car keys, you name it. The ultimate in utilitarian thinking, I guess.

This is the very reason we are nurses. We are a unique bunch in that we become fixated on, talk about, and laugh at all the sick, yucky stuff, and we have such a sick sense of humor. I just looooove it. Gotta love a nurse. Lots of people would gag, pass out, or be revolted at the stuff we deal with on a daily basis.

TOO TRUE. After reading these stories and hearing some from nursing friends, you really see how tough nurses have to be.