1/9: What I learned this week - Worst. Vagina. EVER.

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I still can't believe it's January! Where did 2015 go?!

If your unit is like mine at all, brace yourselves.... Respiratory failure is coming. Out of 10 different patients since 1/1, I've had only one non-respiratory failure patient. Only two of those had sputum cultures with the same type of bug. That bug was a rare one for adults, too, so it's been fun, to say the least. All's fun and games until you get a patient who has no concept of covering a cough.

Regardless, Ixchel Medical Center and Chez Ixchel have both been full of lessons. Hard to narrow this week's list, but for the sake of people actually reaching the bottom of it, I did. [emoji5]️

This week, I have learned.....

1. I am fully convinced I have smelled the worst possible smelling lady parts.

2. Apparently I am a great big baby about getting invasive procedures done on me.

3. Receiving unsettling news about your health is much less unsettling when the doctor is hot.

4. Also, receiving unsettling news about your health gets easier to process emotionally with each new diagnosis.

5. It seriously sucks to clock out from caring for a whole unit of respiratory failure (half dead) patients only to come home to your smoker spouse.

6. The first couple of times you get asked, "Am I going to die?", it's a little creepy, until you have enough experience in nursing to be able to answer, "not on my watch!" with a reassuring smile, followed with, "you will be okay." But then, when someone actually does die on that admission, after asking repeatedly, it goes back to being creepy again.

7. My unit tends to be a bit wild, so staff turnover ends up being high. This changes the "personality" of night shift a lot, since the new to nursing newbies like night shift. I like the night shift personality right now and hope the newbies stay.

8. It still feels weird to be the most experienced nurse on a shift besides charge.

9. I might lose my shizz if we don't get psych on consult. As much as our hospitalists feel adequate to handle psych, they simply aren't.

10. You should have 1-2 people on your "speed dial" (hahaha!!! You guys remember speed dial?!) as your medical procedure go to people for those times you can't do medical procedures on yourself. (i.e. Stitches removal in hard to reach places.) (Thank you for that idea, Dogen!)

11. My primary care doesn't feel qualified to remove a mole from my shoulder because it's too big and looks like someone more specialized should do it. (This is the 5th item in this week's list related to this topic. I may need some tranquilizers, to stop thinking about this.)

12. I met my favorite patient ever. EVER. I want to take him home and name him Grandpa.

13. It's hard enough to stop being lazy after night shifts when I get an ideal schedule. When my schedule sucks, it's impossible. Seriously, ugh.

14. BEST THING EVER! (That may be an exaggeration.) Medscape sent out an article saying contact precautions for MRSA and VRE are no more effective at preventing transmission than standard/universal.

15. Our legal system may be corrupt, or be inefficient, but that doesn't mean a suspect is innocent.

Phish, anybody? (Don't worry, Farawyn, no one dies in this one.)

So, my loves, what have YOU learned this week?

Ahhhhh you would be incorrect, my friend! But, yes, it is used in that book. [emoji5]️

The Mayan goddess of midwifery and medicine is Ixchel. Midwifery is what brought me to nursing. My avatar is actually a head shot of an Ixchel statue with hipster glasses.

And a pearl necklace.

Specializes in ER, SANE, Home Health, Forensic.
Pssst, the topic is the Worst. lady parts. Ever.

*****!!!

Specializes in ER, SANE, Home Health, Forensic.
But what's a lady to do when she doesn't have pockets, isn't carrying her purse and already has her phone, keys, Kleenex, driver's license and debit card in her bra?? [emoji33][emoji33][emoji33]

Said lady should go to the store and buy a purse.

Specializes in CVICU CCRN.
Specializes in Telemetry.
Hey - maybe the source of the odor was one of these bad boys:

Doctors Have Warned Against Using Herbal Tampons To "Detox The Womb" | IFLScience

SMH

Next we'll hear about women trying to "smudge" their uterus, right? Bring on the sage bundle! :rolleyes:

1. I've learned that I need to get back on Melatonin again so that I fall asleep sometime before 3am. Working 2nd shift is a dream, but not when you need to be up by 9 to get everything done.

2. I've learned that taking classes online and working full time is just as hard as taking classes on campus and commuting home to work full time. Just differently hard.

3. I've learned that I will always tell myself I'm not doing enough, even when what I'm currently doing has me just this side of overwhelmed (in this case, volunteering for more hours at work starting next month to put more money aside and trying to find a phlebotomy/EKG class to take before nursing school starts in the summer just so I can have a head start).

4. I'm always going to be frustrated by how my residents are treated by their medical proxy/hospice/facility management but I can control how well they're treated by me and sometimes it pays off more that way.

5. The facility is first and foremost concerned with CYA, then with income. Third is resident care. I've learned what it is to be a patient advocate as well as an advocate for my coworkers' health.

Specializes in Critical Care, Med-Surg, Psych, Geri, LTC, Tele,.
member is a good word!!

Far- remind me: is it work member vs

Recreational member? Were those the terms?

Check this out! [emoji23]

I've been lurking here awhile for a lift when I've had a tough day. Really appreciate the humor and support expressed here. Thanks for being yourselves!

Ive learned this week that returning to school at age 50 is both the hardest and most bad*** thing I've ever done.

Being the 'Mom' figure in said class is pretty cool too (my instructor and classmates are all age 30 or younger)......but most days I just feel old.

Life experience and 22 years of nursing will definitely be a huge advantage in my new field (medical esthetics)

Laugh lines are beautiful!

Wishing you all peace, love and fresh vajayjays (in keeping with thread topic) lol

Specializes in LTC, CPR instructor, First aid instructor..

1. I've learned that due to my having COPD, I no longer have to smell poop or methane.

2. I've learned to loathe vulgarity.

3. I've learned the difference between a crocodile and an alligator. A crocodile is a land dweller and an alligator is a water dweller

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