Published
Ahhhhh this week. Kids in school, a nice run of chill nights, and here I am, wiiiiiiide awake knowing my body needs to flip back to awake in the day (for only two flippin' days) this weekend until I have two more nights this coming week. *sigh* I need more summer. Fall means back to mom taxi and learning 3rd grade math. Ugh! No thank you!
Alas, this week I have learned.....
There is a man with a 19 inch member. The head of it is 10 inches in diameter.
Xarelto is a hell of a drug.
Being an assertive person by nature, and after receiving guidance through nursing school and as I've been a nurse on concise and direct communication (how to deliver and receive it), I was reminded this week that not everyone effectively communicates, and it can be upsetting to them to be asked to.
In addition, the very nature of nursing education through school and orientation teaches us how to be able to initially be subordinate, in a way, to those who mentor us, but seamlessly transition to being peers after. This feels like an endemic part of nursing because we all do it, and a good preceptor takes his/her role seriously to ensure safety and adequate care is delivered. That ease of transition doesn't apparently exist in all levels of patient care, though. I'm not sure why it didn't occur to me, but it was placed directly in my face when I was informed that a preceptor tech should not be responsible for correction of an orienting tech, because the orienting tech is a peer to the preceptor. (Huge needs for education, there - I am not the (disciplinary) supervisor of the aids, even as the nurse, and a preceptor is responsible for the learning process of the one orienting - they need to learn how to communicate errors in practice without worrying about the consequence to the peer relationship later.)
I've decided my melanin is useless.
On a related note, I would rather go without a shower than shower with sunburn.
#JunkOff is trending right now. And in the name of science, there is this - The Icelandic Phallological Museum
I want a high and mighty horse to ride in on.
And speaking of horses, never look a gift horse in the mouth. If the whole floor has wild and crashing patient assignments, check in and offer help often, but keep it to yourself that your group was/is easy.
When you read a patient's chart notes and see they couldn't be stopped from punching and spitting on staff with 25 mg haldol and 10 mg Ativan, you might actually think to yourself, "thank god he's only felt me up this shift".
I've decided I'm going to write a book called "You Can't Make This **** Up".
Agony, sweet, sweet little old man reaffirmed for me that we have a desperate need in this country for social services. A person shouldn't decide to attempt suicide because lack of access to adequate care has ultimately (decades later) led to homelessness.
I very much love and miss NOC. It felt so good to do a week of nights!
I've learned how very close to death a person can get during ETOH detox. It doesn't help that the person is 4 months older than my mom, who is 15 years sober right now. Counter transference is a hell of a drug.
Lots of psychosocial stuff this week. Very heartbreaking.
I've learned that simply being in a sinus arrest rhythm while already having a HR in the 30s is not a qualifyer for a pacemaker. (Apparently?)
I've learned that the cutoff for a pause to ring asystole on our tele monitors is somewhere between 4.8 and 5.6 seconds.
I've learned our hospitalists have this magical locked room filled with iced cream. And if you're really nice (and they're tired-giddy at the end of their 7-day NOC stretch), they'll tube some up to you.
Adding with compatible numbers makes no freaking sense to me whatsoever. I am a math smart person with a rather high IQ (logic and I are BFFs) and yet, compatible numbers? Seriously, why?! I should be able to tutor my 8-year old in math without having to learn what it is first, right???
Have you learned anything worth sharing this week?
Oh yeah, I also learned that one of my cats has that spot on her back near the base of her tail where, if scratched, will cause her tongue to repeatedly "lick" the air. Looks so silly.Most of the other cats just elevate their rears when you scratch that are.
We call that the ass button.
My old male cat had it too.
I think I might be in the market for a shiny new bladder...whoever said nurses acquire bladders of steel clearly forgot to add me to the list
I had some crazy abdominal trauma. Long, long story. It ends with me getting a total hysterectomy at under 30. I had so many adhesions and my bladder was so screwed, that they fixed it for me during the procedure. I've been grateful for both repairs but I don't recommend this particular route to new bladder land. There's gotta be a better way. I'm thinking the depends option as a stop gap....
I've lost 10 lbs since starting that topamax. Now if I roll over in bed too fast I get sharp shooting pains emanating from my c section scar(s). I also have a crappy bladder.
Have you noticed that certain things taste realllly weird when you're on topamax? I took it for a while for migraines and all my carbonated beverages tasted flat and off. I'm a carbonation junky. I consulted the google, and sure enough, it was listed as a side effect. (Anecdotally) it wasn't a med that worked for me though.
Strange med. Awesome if you can tolerate it! I have had shooting pains in my abdominal scars that coincided with losing weight and working my core through yoga. I'm of the unprofessional opinion that those adhesions from multiple surgeries are the culprit; damaged layers shifting as your body changes. They sure do hurt when they occur though. Hang in there!!
I learned:1. I think I have become the new Difficult Family Whisperer.
2. I actually really LIKE being assigned the (gasp) "His daughter called and reported the nurse to the CEO, CNO...everyone with a C in front of their title...." patient. Challenge accepted.
3. Having a patient circling the drain makes me want to just ask for a darn bluetooth so I can put.the.phone.down.already.
4. Nothing makes me happier than receiving a patient wrapped up with a bow on top....clean, shaven, sheets lined up and no wrinkles anywhere.
5. Taking AN HOUR to give me report because you are too scattered to speak in complete sentences almost completely erases the joy I felt when I saw my patient looking like the perfect Christmas package.
6. Stress incontinence is not just for the old. Next time I help you turn your 300lb patient, I'm gonna take a potty break first! And I'm not gonna apologize for making you wait for 2 minutes. The struggle is real. ;p
ETA: details
I love number two! I get teased on occasion for have more patience and making more time than most. Was even told not too long ago by a CN, "I thought for sure you'd give up on that by now" (she said it light-heartedly). But to get that PITA and to have them be happy and saying they're glad I'll be back tomorrow? Priceless!
I've lost 10 lbs since starting that topamax. Now if I roll over in bed too fast I get sharp shooting pains emanating from my c section scar(s). I also have a crappy bladder.
My bladder is still good (knock on wood), and my doc really did a lovely job on my C section scar.
The first one was an emergency and it was a hot mess, the second one was scheduled and he really finessed it. To this day when I see him I still show him how good it looks.
Oh, and he's a former colleague, no longer my OBGYN, so yes, this happens at the nurses' station of hospitals and stuff, me just lowering my waistband so he can take a look. I'm sure he's thrilled.
Nurse Leigh
1,149 Posts
Totally agree and think companies like Depends are missing out on a whole target market - nurses and aides who work at the bedside. They could make a mint off of us!
And think of the potential commercials!