9/5 What I learned this week.....

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Ahhhhh this week. Kids in school, a nice run of chill nights, and here I am, wiiiiiiide awake knowing my body needs to flip back to awake in the day (for only two flippin' days) this weekend until I have two more nights this coming week. *sigh* I need more summer. Fall means back to mom taxi and learning 3rd grade math. Ugh! No thank you!

Alas, this week I have learned.....

There is a man with a 19 inch member. The head of it is 10 inches in diameter.

Xarelto is a hell of a drug.

Being an assertive person by nature, and after receiving guidance through nursing school and as I've been a nurse on concise and direct communication (how to deliver and receive it), I was reminded this week that not everyone effectively communicates, and it can be upsetting to them to be asked to.

In addition, the very nature of nursing education through school and orientation teaches us how to be able to initially be subordinate, in a way, to those who mentor us, but seamlessly transition to being peers after. This feels like an endemic part of nursing because we all do it, and a good preceptor takes his/her role seriously to ensure safety and adequate care is delivered. That ease of transition doesn't apparently exist in all levels of patient care, though. I'm not sure why it didn't occur to me, but it was placed directly in my face when I was informed that a preceptor tech should not be responsible for correction of an orienting tech, because the orienting tech is a peer to the preceptor. (Huge needs for education, there - I am not the (disciplinary) supervisor of the aids, even as the nurse, and a preceptor is responsible for the learning process of the one orienting - they need to learn how to communicate errors in practice without worrying about the consequence to the peer relationship later.)

I've decided my melanin is useless.

On a related note, I would rather go without a shower than shower with sunburn.

#JunkOff is trending right now. And in the name of science, there is this - The Icelandic Phallological Museum

I want a high and mighty horse to ride in on.

And speaking of horses, never look a gift horse in the mouth. If the whole floor has wild and crashing patient assignments, check in and offer help often, but keep it to yourself that your group was/is easy.

When you read a patient's chart notes and see they couldn't be stopped from punching and spitting on staff with 25 mg haldol and 10 mg Ativan, you might actually think to yourself, "thank god he's only felt me up this shift".

I've decided I'm going to write a book called "You Can't Make This **** Up".

Agony, sweet, sweet little old man reaffirmed for me that we have a desperate need in this country for social services. A person shouldn't decide to attempt suicide because lack of access to adequate care has ultimately (decades later) led to homelessness.

I very much love and miss NOC. It felt so good to do a week of nights!

I've learned how very close to death a person can get during ETOH detox. It doesn't help that the person is 4 months older than my mom, who is 15 years sober right now. Counter transference is a hell of a drug. :(

Lots of psychosocial stuff this week. Very heartbreaking.

I've learned that simply being in a sinus arrest rhythm while already having a HR in the 30s is not a qualifyer for a pacemaker. (Apparently?)

I've learned that the cutoff for a pause to ring asystole on our tele monitors is somewhere between 4.8 and 5.6 seconds.

I've learned our hospitalists have this magical locked room filled with iced cream. And if you're really nice (and they're tired-giddy at the end of their 7-day NOC stretch), they'll tube some up to you.

Adding with compatible numbers makes no freaking sense to me whatsoever. I am a math smart person with a rather high IQ (logic and I are BFFs) and yet, compatible numbers? Seriously, why?! I should be able to tutor my 8-year old in math without having to learn what it is first, right???

Have you learned anything worth sharing this week?

Specializes in Telemetry.
How's she doing?

I think things are finally improving, thanks for asking. :) It makes it simultaneously easier and more difficult to navigate the illness of a loved one as a healthcare professional. I know enough to ask some (hopefully) good questions and soak in all the knowledge I can. It's easier to communicate with other healthcare professionals since we speak the same "language." I can then sometimes explain what is going on to my family members.

But it's also difficult being the go to person for all the questions family members have. Often, I just don't know. Other times, I just want to be the daughter. Then I feel selfish for that. :/

Thankfully my mother understands my feelings and is pretty awesome.

Specializes in Critical Care.
My hubs traveled the past 7 weeks straight. He's back now.

I learned having him home is WAY more work than single parenting. I'm already asking when they want him to travel again. PLEASE make it soon!

Just when you find your rhythm and get used to him being gone, BAM! He's back. Bittersweet.

I didn't know that loose donkeys run around NV. Did you just wait for them to cross then?

We do have loose donkeys that run around Nevada. We have a lot of willy nilly animals around here. Eventually they move and you go on your way. Usually they stay on the side of the road. I suspect somebody may have been messing with them.

Specializes in M/S, LTC, Corrections, PDN & drug rehab.
We do have loose donkeys that run around Nevada. We have a lot of willy nilly animals around here. Eventually they move and you go on your way. Usually they stay on the side of the road. I suspect somebody may have been messing with them.

Lol that's crazy!

Nothing but bad stuff here.

Okay, not bad but very stressful stuff I can't deal with.

My 5 year plan keeps changing. Maybe I should just make a 3 year plan, that doesn't change.

Ood, my friend, you misunderstood. It's supposed to be the 5 minute plan. That way, when it changes, you're not disappointed.

Hang in there!

I'm taking all of the above advice. I had to switch to my computer to get that out of my system. Some day I will be able to master "concise".

You did.

Specializes in Critical Care.

I learned:

1. I think I have become the new Difficult Family Whisperer.

2. I actually really LIKE being assigned the (gasp) "His daughter called and reported the nurse to the CEO, CNO...everyone with a C in front of their title...." patient. Challenge accepted.

3. Having a patient circling the drain makes me want to just ask for a darn bluetooth so I can put.the.phone.down.already.

4. Nothing makes me happier than receiving a patient wrapped up with a bow on top....clean, shaven, sheets lined up and no wrinkles anywhere.

5. Taking AN HOUR to give me report because you are too scattered to speak in complete sentences almost completely erases the joy I felt when I saw my patient looking like the perfect Christmas package.

6. Stress incontinence is not just for the old. Next time I help you turn your 300lb patient, I'm gonna take a potty break first! And I'm not gonna apologize for making you wait for 2 minutes. The struggle is real. ;p

ETA: details ;)

Specializes in Critical Care.

Oh! And....

Cheap frozen burrito covered in melted cheese after The Day From Hell is sooooo much more satisfying than the (really tasty) spaghetti dinner the hubby cooked.

Quick! Hide the evidence!!

Specializes in CVICU CCRN.
I learned:

6. Stress incontinence is not just for the old. Next time I help you turn your 300lb patient, I'm gonna take a potty break first! And I'm not gonna apologize for making you wait for 2 minutes. The struggle is real. ;p

ETA: details ;)

Seriously though. I'm a fairly burly chick with a (relatively) shiny new rebuilt bladder but dang, even proper body mechanics cause incredible stress on the old pelvic floor. I had to flip a patient to prone in the OR after my morning deluge of coffee. It was a dam near miss. :bag:

Far: thanks for the warm fuzzy :)

Specializes in Telemetry.

Oh yeah, I also learned that one of my cats has that spot on her back near the base of her tail where, if scratched, will cause her tongue to repeatedly "lick" the air. Looks so silly.

Most of the other cats just elevate their rears when you scratch that are.

Specializes in Critical Care.
Seriously though. I'm a fairly burly chick with a (relatively) shiny new rebuilt bladder but dang, even proper body mechanics cause incredible stress on the old pelvic floor. I had to flip a patient to prone in the OR after my morning deluge of coffee. It was a dam near miss. :bag:

Far: thanks for the warm fuzzy :)

I think I might be in the market for a shiny new bladder...whoever said nurses acquire bladders of steel clearly forgot to add me to the list

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