What is the dumbest order you ever read?

[SherRN]

I thought I had seen some AH orders but yesterday took the all time win! I had a 97 year old man admitted from ER with impaction and the order said---- "Give oil retention enema and have pt. hold for one hour." I am LMAO as I am thinking "OK where am I going to find a cork.:roll :chuckle

[TheLionessRN, RN]

My all time favorite order was for a man who had the most swollen testicles and member I had ever seen. Third spacing kind of look, just in his package. Doc ordered a urology consult. The urology guy comes in and orders "Have nurse put hand pressure first on the testicles, and move upward to the member, holding pressure for 5-10 min total, q 30 minutes X 4 hours." The idea was to push the excess fluid back into the body, I think.

I had to go in and hold the man's package and just stand there, pressing on various parts of it. Looking for something to converse about while I did this, the patient told me he always regretted not being circumcised. He then went on to tell me that he hadn't been touched there by a woman in a long time. "It has been about 25 years since I got any tail".

I finished shortly afterward and asked another nurse to spell me in my squeezing routine after that......

[legsmalone, RN]

Originally posted by Stargazer

Oh, dear. Did you get out the thesaurus and start looking up synonyms for "explosive" and "musical" and "silent-but-deadly"? :chuckle

:roll :roll :roll :roll

[WalMart_ADN]

60 mgs tylenol iv q4 prn........

"please check VS q4h"

"please check temp q4h"

"please check BP q4h"

"please check pulse ox and respers q4h"

"please check heart rate q4h"

"please place on continious oximeter"

yes those last 6 were 6 seperate orders, written on the same pt. by the same resident all at the same time......what do they think we do when we check vitals.....and you either want the oximetry/heart rate checked q4 or continous......

"strict i/o"---i was actually going to make them up, thanks for clarifying"

"call HO for temp over 38.7, oximetry less than 88%, and seizure activity lasting over 5 minutes"....thanks for clarifying.....

[Stargazer]

Well, ya know, those four-and-a-half minute seizures are hardly even worth charting, much less calling the doc...

(psst--welcome back, LeAnn!) :)

[WalMart_ADN]

(psssst....thanks susan i missed you guys!)

[charissa]

PT to brush teeth QD

Change pt linen q3 days, (How about QD?)

Remove every other altenating staple

[beachmom]

We were the lucky recipients of orders from a doctor's first try with computerized records.

On the H&P, "Chief complaint: as above" .......Above where? it's the top of the page. your'e computer is not here

Meds: "Insulin, NPH, 25 ml. BID." ....25 ml??????

"Rocephin"........No amount, no route, no time.

7 clarifications of the meds. What gets me is that the doctor was furious that we had so much trouble with it.

[NursingAgainstdaOdds]

"NTG 0.4mg q5min x3, if CP persists, call 911."

Well, that's ONE way to get a transfer, I suppose.

[Nursebarebari]

Urine analysis was ordered for anuric pt, after explaining to R1 that pt does not void due to ESRD, he changed the order to blood urine analysis stat.

[Nursebarebari]

Had an order to flush F/C with 10% dextrose

I C/O to doctor that my pt had been having a very foul smelling diarrhea and that she needed a her stool tested, doc ordered- spray pt room with airfreshner each time she goes.

[To cut is to cure]

Well now that you mention it, we just had a patient admitted for query appendicitis...after telling the doctor that he's already had an appendectomy! We think that something might have gotten mixed up from the office to the hospital...but even still, when I asked the patient why he was being admitted, he said he didn't know...

Amanda :)

Doesn't matter. You can have a leftover appendiceal stump and get appendicitis even after appendectomy.

[RN and Mommy]

[color=deepskyblue]i got an order on a post-op patient, some gi surgery (can't remember now) and she was strict npo status with a ng tube. well, she has a pca and it was set to demand only and the patient wasn't even using it, but i left it there just in case she had pain, as she couldn't take any oral meds. the patient was having nausea and so the brilliant physician comes in and writes an order-not once, but twice to shut off the continuous rate on the pca. um, hellooo! look at the machine, 0.0! the patient hasn't had any morphine for at least 10 hours at this point. the second time, i did put that in the progress notes, but look at the machines or ask the nurse what the pca is set on!