Wearing skirts as a nurse

[purplescrubs15]

I was raised in a conservative Christian family, similar to Mennonites in beliefs and dress. My sisters and I weren't allowed to wear pants except for playing outside in winter, etc. Last year I became a CNA and my parents made me wear a scrub skirt instead of pants for clinical. It was awful and embarrassing, it looked really awkward because I had to wear dark nylons with it, I looked so old-fashioned and it was nearly impossible to do things that included squatting in a way that wouldn't give everyone a view up my legs! I was very uncomfortable with it, but my parents didn't care. At the very end of clinical I couldn't take it anymore and just bought some scrub pants, which my parents were really mad about when they found out.

I am 18 now, and although my faith is important to me I don't believe that it's necessary for women to wear skirts only. I think that there are times when it is way more appropriate to be wearing pants, particularly in this kind of job. I do love skirts, but not when it's impractical. I will be starting my nursing clinical in a few months and have decided that I will not wear skirts for it.

I have reiterated many times to my parents about why I wanted to wear pants as a CNA, including that I'd rather have my legs completely covered and not with extra fabric swishing around to get gross stuff on it (urine, blood, nasty stuff in general) and I like being able to squatg down to do things like put Teds on a patient or put briefs on them, without twisting around in uncomfortable positions in order to keep my underwear from showing! I don't want to kill my back, which is what will happen if I keep on doing that. I also really hate the "sexy nurse in a dress" stereotype- it makes me cringe!- and that's all I think of when I think of a nurse in a dress. During clinical, people would also comment on how "cute" my skirt was, and it bothered me because I don't want to be seen as cute, I want to be seen as professional. I also just want to do my job comfortably, and not look old-fashioned. I also live in New England and it gets so cold in the winter!

Anyway... I know that firmly deciding that I will be wearing pants during nursing school (and later on as a nurse) is not going to go over well with my parents. I have a feeling like they might even tell me I can't live at home anymore unless I wear skirts (I'm 18). I really respect their belief but it's just not what I believe. Has anyone gone through a similar situation or can give some advice? I would just like for them to accept how I feel about it and respect my decision without causing hard feelings.

[cupcakeluver]

I agree with changing once you leave your house. I also understand and appreciate your desire to be honest. It's a difficult decision that only you can make. I guess I would just not mention it to your parents. I realize that's blurring the honesty issue as well.

Shorts/leggings under the skirt might be a nice compromise if you're totally against just not telling your parents. Maybe you can continue to discuss the circumstance with your parents and continue explaining that it's important to you.

The biggest issue is whether or not it's worth being kicked out of your parents house over a skirt. I wish you the best of luck with whatever you decide.

[KatieMI, BSN, MSN, RN]

With what being said above about changing once on the work, I know one Amish CNM who wears floor length skirts and pettycoats, as well as prayer cap, all the time. She told me that she tried pants and found them less comfortable. I also saw quite a few conservative Muslim nurses in skirt uniforms and headscarfs in New York hospitals. So, it should ultimately be question of what is more comfortable for you for doing your job. If you have to change before and after job, so be it. Surprising number of nurses, me including, do it anyway for different reasons. You always can tell that you work with infectious materials and change so that not to bring bad bugs home.

[NurseGirl525, ASN, RN]

I want to ask a serious question here. I am not being offensive. Why do conservative christians believe women have to wear skirts over pants? I would think that especially scrub pants would be more modest than a long skirt. People can always look up a skirt and see all your stuff. With pants, there is more coverage. I do not understand the thought process that skirts are more modest. Many wear jean skirts all of the time so it can't be the denim material. Just like the OP stated people can see stuff when she squats and trying to maintain modesty in a long skirt while trying to do CNA work will absolutely kill her back. And what happens if she has to do CPR? I'm super short and would have to jump up on the bed to try and do CPR and may have to straddle them to do chest compressions.

OP, you are an adult and can make your own decisions. If your parents decide to kick you out, you will have to be on your own. Start saving money now. Just explain to them that you value your modesty and you can't be modest in a skirt, but you will in pants. I hope it works out for you. I know many women who wear pants don't dress for their body type and do not look modest, but the same can be said for skirts. Tell them at 18 you can decide what is correct for you to wear and still respect your religion.

[Eclectic Swain]

The view that a woman should not wear pants isn't biblical. My parents had a belief that I disagreed with and they gave me an ultimatum to either practice their belief or leave. They did not expect me to leave but I calmly informed them I was taking them up on their offer and left. I had not felt that free in years! I had been paying all of my own bills, except for rent, up to that point so the transition was simple. Adulthood means more independent thinking and responsibility. It can be hard, but the rewards are awesome.

Don't ostracize yourself, but there's nothing wrong with keeping some family members at an arms length vs. right in your face. Moderation in everything, especially in reference to controlling, well-meaning, parents.

[JJ1994]

I'm not a nurse yet just a student but I think you have to decide what's more important to you. I don't live with my parents because I don't want to live by their rules and as long as you live with your parents, I believe they have the right to make the rules they want followed in their household.

I wore scrub pants my first two semesters and then learned we had a skirt option for our clinical uniform and now I wear that most of the time. I'm not religious but I'm more comfortable in skirts. We have to get a certain brand and style for clinicals and the pants just don't fit me well. I wear tights and a pair of tight shorts under the skirt and it works great. I can bend or move anyway I want and I feel more covered than I do in the pants because I don't worry about getting plumbers crack.

[Adele_Michal7, ASN, RN]

The view that a woman should not wear pants isn't biblical. My parents had a belief that I disagreed with and they gave me an ultimatum to either practice their belief or leave. They did not expect me to leave but I calmly informed them I was taking them up on their offer and left. I had not felt that free in years! I had been paying all of my own bills, except for rent, up to that point so the transition was simple. Adulthood means more independent thinking and responsibility. It can be hard, but the rewards are awesome.

Don't ostracize yourself, but there's nothing wrong with keeping some family members at an arms length vs. right in your face. Moderation in everything, especially in reference to controlling, well-meaning, parents.

I agree, and the people that claim this belief, better adhere to all the other OT tenets, like women can not wear makeup and jewelry, must have long hair, etc...

[Adele_Michal7, ASN, RN]

It just boggles my mind.

[quiltynurse56, LPN, LVN]

There are many conservative Christians who do not subscribe to the skirt/dress only. There are some sects that do. It is this type of group that the OP is talking about. I am a conservative Christian and have been wearing slacks/jeans for 45 years. We have a religious group near us where the girls wear skits all the time. That is one thing they believe and the members adhere to. I just wanted to add that you can't lump us all together like this.

I want to ask a serious question here. I am not being offensive. Why do conservative christians believe women have to wear skirts over pants? I would think that especially scrub pants would be more modest than a long skirt. People can always look up a skirt and see all your stuff. With pants, there is more coverage. I do not understand the thought process that skirts are more modest. Many wear jean skirts all of the time so it can't be the denim material. Just like the OP stated people can see stuff when she squats and trying to maintain modesty in a long skirt while trying to do CNA work will absolutely kill her back. And what happens if she has to do CPR? I'm super short and would have to jump up on the bed to try and do CPR and may have to straddle them to do chest compressions.

OP, you are an adult and can make your own decisions. If your parents decide to kick you out, you will have to be on your own. Start saving money now. Just explain to them that you value your modesty and you can't be modest in a skirt, but you will in pants. I hope it works out for you. I know many women who wear pants don't dress for their body type and do not look modest, but the same can be said for skirts. Tell them at 18 you can decide what is correct for you to wear and still respect your religion.

[purplescrubs15]

Heathermaizey,

The reason they have that belief is basically that pants show the shape of your butt, legs and crotch. Also that skirts clearly differentiate you as a woman, where as men wear pants. For my parents, it's also because all of the women in our church wear skirts only and it is important for my parents that we use that same dress standard in our family, because of our appearance to others outside of our church.

Hope that clarifies your question a little about the why of that belief. :-)

[purplescrubs15]

Adele_Michal7,

Well, actually I'm not supposed to wear jewelry either, or have short hair. My hair is really long and I wear a headcovering..

[canigraduate]

I grew up in a fairly conservative household.

It really depends on how entrenched and reasonable your parents are. You may wish to speak to some elders and to your religious leader to get differing viewpoints.

It may be that they agree with you, and it may be that they don't but that their thoughts change your perspective.

I, personally, live my life differently from the beliefs of the religion I was raised in. It was easy for me because I left home early. My parents wanted me back and we made compromises. I didn't swear, drink, or have sex. I didn't have to attend church every time the doors opened and I could dress how I wanted to, wear my hair the way I wanted to, and be friends with who I wanted to.

Out of respect for my parents, I followed their rules while I was in their house, and my beliefs when I was outside of the house. They didn't like it, but respected my position.

[Farawyn]

Heathermaizey,

The reason they have that belief is basically that pants show the shape of your butt, legs and crotch. Also that skirts clearly differentiate you as a woman, where as men wear pants. For my parents, it's also because all of the women in our church wear skirts only and it is important for my parents that we use that same dress standard in our family, because of our appearance to others outside of our church.

Hope that clarifies your question a little about the why of that belief. :-)

I think Invitale's suggestion to talk to your clergy is a good one. Start there, so your parents know you are still trying to be respectful and find a solution.

Best of luck.