Was I being mean-by not handing over all my notes??????

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One of my classmates came to me about a week and a half ago and asked for my phone #, she stated that she had a question to ask me?

(A little background, this is a girl who doesn't speak to me. In the past she's asked to see my notes right before exams.)

Anyway she calls me today (finals are tomorrow) and asks if she can have all my notes sent to her email so she can study them (I type all of my lecture notes). She said she has anemia and been sleeping all the time (I noticed her sleeping in class). After thinking about, I sad no. If she wanted to study w/me or have me help her with a area that she was having difficulty, I would have done it. But to just hand over my notes, my work so she can have "cliff-notes" to the class, NO. I am sorry.

But was that mean?

Specializes in rehab, long-term care, ortho.
"no good deed goes unpunished".

Amen to that!

I'm more than happy to help people that help themselves. I'll share everything with you if I know you're serious about learning.

I won't go out of my way and give my notes to a student who I know is not putting in the effort on their own. I'm not doing them any favors by doing the work for them and, frankly, I resent being used that way.

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Wow, that is pretty cynical. We also have as one of nursing's main values -beneficence. I think that the OP stated the notes were to be emailed so there was not a chance that by giving them to the other woman she would be in a situation where she would not have them herself. Also, my understanding is that the girl needed them to study not to turn in as her own work. If that happened I would have a problem with that. Studying and plagiarism are two different things.

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Specializes in Telemetry.
Amen to that!

I'm more than happy to help people that help themselves. I'll share everything with you if I know you're serious about learning.

I won't go out of my way and give my notes to a student who I know is not putting in the effort on their own. I'm not doing them any favors by doing the work for them and, frankly, I resent being used that way.

I don't really feel its anyone's place to decide who is putting in enough effort.

We are all students trying to acheive the same goal. Why not try to take care of each other? Its not like its extra work to give some one your notes. And by not helping out- most students in your class will hear about it, and I really hope you won't need help in the future. I feel like people isolate themselves with that attitude. JMO.

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One of my classmates came to me about a week and a half ago and asked for my phone #, she stated that she had a question to ask me?

(A little background, this is a girl who doesn't speak to me. In the past she's asked to see my notes right before exams.)

Anyway she calls me today (finals are tomorrow) and asks if she can have all my notes sent to her email so she can study them (I type all of my lecture notes). She said she has anemia and been sleeping all the time (I noticed her sleeping in class). After thinking about, I sad no. If she wanted to study w/me or have me help her with a area that she was having difficulty, I would have done it. But to just hand over my notes, my work so she can have "cliff-notes" to the class, NO. I am sorry.

But was that mean?

Not mean at all. I've helped people before by burning recorded lectures for them and letting them view my notes. However, you mentioned that she doesn't speak to you and she's asked you for notes in the past. She sounds like a leech...she needs tough love. She might move on to the next classmate though.

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Specializes in rehab, long-term care, ortho.
I don't really feel its anyone's place to decide who is putting in enough effort.

If you're asking me for my notes, it certainly is my place.

As I said above..."I'm more than happy to help people that help themselves. I'll share everything with you if I know you're serious about learning."

I help anyone and everyone if they want. I'm huge on making friends in class and learning together, sharing and helping each other. It's the best way to learn and the funnest way to learn. I'll help anyone if they ask. I've had more than one classmate in more than one class thank me so much for all the help I gave them (so spare me the "beneficience" line please).

But sorry, I don't have any patience for lazy students that don't want to do the work themselves. They do exist, and I don't feel at all compelled to help them.

For example, I was working with a girl in my A&P class. We would get these study guides with 4 or so chapters and we would each take two chapters, fill them out and send them to each other. It was an accelerated course and very intense. Her notes weren't very good; I really couldn't use them and had to fill them in myself. That was okay. I didn't care. But by the end of the semester, she wasn't even trying to fill in the study guides; she just glanced at the book for 5 minutes and put in one line and sent it to me to make it look like she actually did something (with info that was even wrong!)...then would ask me to send her what I had. It was OBVIOUS to me she didn't want to do the work or put in the effort...it was no longer a sharing of the load and learning together...she was being a leech. Maybe some of you think that is perfectly fine...I sure don't!

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Oz2

Leeches are never very popular with other people for very long. I'll help anybody who tries to help themselves also. But there is always a point where I catch on if somebody is using me. Then I decide how long I'm going to continue my part in the one way relationship. This happens often enough in school for people to think about how they will approach the problem, should they encounter it.

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Specializes in Telemetry/Med Surg.

This happened to me a couple of years ago in nursing school. I typed my notes too and one girl asked me for a copy. I relucantly let her copy them. I was uncomfortable about it because what if I didn't transcribe something correctly. then it turned out she was xeroxing my notes for lots of other classmates which really pissed me off. Didn't do it anymore after that.

Favors turn into duties.

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Specializes in DOU.

I have an arrangement where I split the subjects we will be tested on with another student whose grades are similar to mine. (I do half, she does the other half, and we swap.) It works for us.

OP - I would probably would have given her the notes this one time, but told her to get herself a tape recorder so she could record the lectures she is sleeping through.

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Specializes in Oncology, Med-Surg, Nursery.

To the OP - I see your point and I don't think you are wrong to not give all the notes. I'm certainly not going to say that decision will come back to haunt you later, I mean my goodness. It isn't like you were intentionally being cruel, you were torn over this...I don't see the mean spirited action here. That is just MY opinion though and we all seem to have them here, lol. I would have probably allowed her to have them this one time, but would have suggested other measures to help her in the future. I don't know about your lecture - but in our lecture, it is very fast paced, so I tend to personalize my notes A LOT and most people wouldn't understand them word for word. I abbreviate a lot and draw diagrams that only make sense to me, not to mention we still have to read every assignment in our books to get a full understanding of said subject, so my notes alone wouldn't have helped this girl pass.

And you know, as I saw pointed out earlier, the sad thing is...sometimes we DO have to be careful. If this girl's health prevents her from being able to stay awake in lecture, I do feel horrible for her, but I would suggest she look into other helpful things for herself. You said she asks to see your notes before every exam, so this wasn't a one time deal and you'd probably be doing her a bigger favor by opening her eyes to show she needs to look out for her own self and find something that works for her. My suggestion for her would maybe be a tape recorder, that way she would have the lecture and she could make her own notes whenever she felt up to it. Your notes helped some, I am sure, but she does need to find a better way to cope with her illness where nursing school is concerned. There are many resources she could utilize.

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Well, I took the final today and the girl that I sent some of my notes to, walked passed about 3 or 4 times. Not only did she not say thank you, she didn't even speak. Oh well, lesson learned!

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Funny story about sharing notes --

My dad was a mechanical engineer who found himself out of a job in his 50's when there was a lot of downsizing in his sector. He ended up taking an air conditioning and refrigeration class at his local community college while he was looking for another job. A guy in his class was really struggling and asked my dad if he could borrow his homework so he could try to understand it better. This guy, also in his fifties PHOTOCOPIED my dad's homework, crossed out my dad's name on the copy, wrote his name, and turned it in!! Unbelievable! I think you need to be careful because you NEVER know how idiotic some people will be. It's one thing to help a classmate, but some people become leeches and take it too far. It was fortunate for my dad that the instructor just thought the guy was a dork and showed my dad what happened. In some environments, that could be enough to kick BOTH students out of the class.

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Specializes in rehab, long-term care, ortho.

Welp, I bet you're really feeling mean now, missgigius. Like punch-her-in-the-nose mean. :chuckle

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