Wanted - Funny Triage stories

Nurses General Nursing

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Hello all! I am a fairly new triage nurse and the stupid things I see never cease to amaze me! I want to hear from other nurses that truly know how stupid people can be. Just drop me a note and lets laugh together.

Specializes in PICU, surgical post-op.
The mom who came back after taking home her NB because she could not remember what she named her.

This one for the win!

Specializes in ER; HBOT- lots others.

I love the patients that will call the clinic i used to work at, and say they HAD TO GET IN TODAY,, AT 10AM ONLY ONLY ONLY.

and then 'no show'

and only call me the next time this exact situ happened.

and btw...DIDNT go to ER or UC.

i could scream!!

-H-

here's some more:

15-yr-old girl ran away with her 20-something boyfriend, showed up at 0300 saying she thinks she's pregnant. an interpreter and i asked her several different ways why she thought she was pregnant....trying to figure out why she was in the er....symptoms, etc. finally she said "because we did it three times."

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the man who showed up with back pain. discharged from er the night before with the same complaint, was medicated, told to f/u with pmd the next day, had an appt for 1000, showed back up in the er...........

at 0930!!!!!

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Specializes in rehab-med/surg-ICU-ER-cath lab.

Mom brings son to ER @ 10:00pm due to "squirrel bite". I asked her exactly when did his happen? "3:00pm - the children found a baby squirrel yesturday and this morning it looked constipated so I gave it castor oil and left a note for the children not to play with the baby squirrel after school. But, they played with it anyway". OOOOOkay, so why the wait until 10pm for an ER visit? "The squirrel just died". I'm thinking to mysef if she pulls that dead squirrel out of her pockectbook I am jumping over the triage desk and heading out the door. But alright I'll go for it ... Where is the squirrel now? "In my car" We had to call the game warden, work up the son for rabies, the ER MD was BS over the paper work involved. I still am wondering how she knew the baby squirel was constipated? Perfect end to long and ugly night!!

Specializes in ER.

Mom brings son to ER @ 10:00pm due to "squirrel bite". I asked her exactly when did his happen? "3:00pm - the children found a baby squirrel yesturday and this morning it looked constipated so I gave it castor oil and left a note for the children not to play with the baby squirrel after school.

My only question..how on earth do you tell if a SQUIRREL is constipated??? and after you get that far... why do you TREAT it?

:confused::confused::confused::confused::confused:

Mom brings son to ER @ 10:00pm due to "squirrel bite". I asked her exactly when did his happen? "3:00pm - the children found a baby squirrel yesturday and this morning it looked constipated so I gave it castor oil and left a note for the children not to play with the baby squirrel after school.

My only question..how on earth do you tell if a SQUIRREL is constipated??? and after you get that far... why do you TREAT it?

:confused::confused::confused::confused::confused:

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&suggon=0&safe=off&client=firefox-a&rls=org.mozilla%3Aen-US%3Aofficial&q=constipated+baby+squirrel&btnG=Search

Must be a bigger problem than we ever would have suspected :eek:

Specializes in rehab-med/surg-ICU-ER-cath lab.

I just wish you could have seen how serious this woman was about the ''squirrel". Her own child's bite was almost a minor concern, the baby squirrel was everything. Forget how she knew it "looked constipated" how the heck did she get Castor Oil into a wild baby animal? The director MD of the ER always said "Whenever you are in that triage room every whacko in the world comes in here!%#@&^%@^&@& you!!!!!!! Remember I did have to see the poor, probably dehydrated, little furry thing when the Game Warden came to get him?her.

Specializes in pediatric ER.

WHOLE family, grandparents, parents, aunts, uncles come RUNNING down the hallway carrying 6 month old baby... frantically come to triage window and state, "the baby hasn't smiled in an hour and he is ALWAYS smiling." Very hard to keep a straight face for that one!

20 something man comes in with chief complaint, "A tick bit me on my butt and I pulled it out but I think I might have lyme dz. No signs or symptoms but a "friend" that was in "medical school" told him he should go to the ER at 2am to "make sure".

Kid got bit by a snake, mom CAUGHT said snake and proceeded to show it to the triage nurse. Small garden snake quickly escaped and slithered all over the ER before security managed to catch it! THAT was an exciting night.

And, child comes in after being bitten by a baby skunk. When asked about said skunk mom states, "it was so cute and so trusting of people, we just loved playing with it!" That's right, mom played with it too. Skunk died of rabies (imagine that) and now mom and child need rabies vaccines! UGH, why WHY would you play with a wild animal that was just "so trusting of people!"

Specializes in ER, Occupational Health, Cardiology.
I love the patients that will call the clinic i used to work at, and say they HAD TO GET IN TODAY,, AT 10AM ONLY ONLY ONLY.

and then 'no show'

and only call me the next time this exact situ happened.

and btw...DIDNT go to ER or UC.

i could scream!!

-H-

I'll scream right along with you! Why bother calling at all?

Specializes in ED.

I like the one where a 14yoM brought in by parents was said to have not pooped in THREE MONTHS. So I laughed and thinking I must be reading the chart wrong show it to some co workers, who also start laughing. So I go back to the room with a very interested EDT to see this young man, who was wincing in pain and wouldn't do anything I asked him so I could assess him, and his mom immediatly asking for every test known to man.

Now let me tell you, he did indeed have a poop in the last 3 months because it was right there in his tighty whities during assessment. YUCK!!!!!

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