Wanted - Funny Triage stories

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Hello all! I am a fairly new triage nurse and the stupid things I see never cease to amaze me! I want to hear from other nurses that truly know how stupid people can be. Just drop me a note and lets laugh together.

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Specializes in SICU, EMS, Home Health, School Nursing.

Hm... like the person that came in with a bug bite and got really upset because it took so long to see a doctor? Um, I'm sorry, but traumas and chest pain rate way higher on the "gotta see" list than a bug bite?!?! Who in their right mind would come to the hospital for a big bite anyways unless it was a poisonous spider or something like that??

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the silly twit who forgot to take almost a whole month's worth of birth control pills and took all the missed pills all at once, then wondered why she was puking.

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the mom who was angry because a catty neighbor was spreading rumors that her 16-yr-old daughter was not a virgin. she wanted us to check the girl to verify "intactness."

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the countless number of people who came in after one dose of an abx saying "it's not working, i don't feel any better."

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the babies who come back after having been discharged earlier in the shift after having been given tylenol for a f ever: "the fever came back."

me: "and you didn't give tylenol because......?"

parent: "oh......was i supposed to do that?"

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"i had an appt for a pap smear this morning and i missed it because i couldn't get a ride. can you do one now?"

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the baby who finished a course of amox but dad didn't know it was finished. he gave one more dose. mom noticed the expiration date and panicked. thought junior had been poisoned.

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Specializes in ER.

When someone enters triage saying "this better not take to long, we need to get to Walmart before it closes."

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Specializes in ICU/Cardiac/ER.

The man that came in complaining othat his arm was sore from a flu shot he received the day before!:uhoh3:

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Specializes in Med-Surg/Peds/O.R./Legal/cardiology.

Mother comes to ER wanting a pregnancy test. She says she thinks she may be pregnant (6 kids already) although she has "been eating that jelly stuff" on TOAST EVERY SINGLE MORNING!! (spermicidal jelly) :uhoh3:

... and yes, she was pregnant again...

ebear

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Specializes in ER OB NICU.

The MAN who came to the ER and said "I am here for my PAP smear", seems his IQ was not up to par ,and the company where he worked thought it would be funny for him to show up and ask for one, and they told him that it was absolutely necessary. Took their suggestion to heart, presented to ER.

The mom who came back after taking home her NB because she could not remember what she named her.

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Have to share...I had to write this one down verbatim - Chief complaint: "I cant breath my ticels are swallen and my nose is cloged It's really hard to breath" It disturbs me that these people are reproducing! LOL

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Specializes in ER, Occupational Health, Cardiology.

I do telephone triage in a very large Cardiology practice. Last week a man called to tell me that his wife had "fainted into the floor" and wondered if she shouldn't be seen by the Dr.-she had just been seen here for a Nuc Stress test and had her pacemaker adjusted! I told him yes, but an ERP! I told him to call 911. This morning a woman called to tell me that her Mom, s/p MI and 3 vessel CABG some months ago, was c/o pain beneath her left breast and in her left arm. Wondered if she should see MD or go to ER. When I told her to take her to ER, she said "well, if she hasn't seen us for a while, she conjures up all kinds of complaints. How do I know that she isn't doing that this time?" I politely told her that neither she nor I was in a position to decide that, and that Mom should go to the ER. She then said, "okay, I'll call her and tell her to go.":eek:

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Mother comes to ER wanting a pregnancy test. She says she thinks she may be pregnant (6 kids already) although she has "been eating that jelly stuff" on TOAST EVERY SINGLE MORNING!! (spermicidal jelly) :uhoh3:

... and yes, she was pregnant again...

ebear

No freakin' way...:trout:

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Specializes in Med-Surg/Peds/O.R./Legal/cardiology.

CSTwannabe,

I know! I was there and heard it with my own ears! What's scary is the fact that she is raising 7 kids!!! :lol2:

ebear

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I read that in a book on ER stories. So, I'm sure folks get mixed up.:uhoh3:

I can't tell the funniest one I have . . . . darn.

steph

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