Want to keep my pride. . . Please Advise

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Specializes in Geriatrics/Sub-Acute.

Hey everyone!

I needed advice on something. (Sorry, this is long!)

Prior to going on leave from my job, I expressed interest to my DON in a particular field of nursing. It came up several more times in meetings and during conversation, with the DON being the one to mention it (which lets me know that he was clear on the fact that this was something I would be interested in pursuing). At the time however, there were no more positions open as they had just offered the only open one to one of my co-workers. This particular co-worker had no interest in the position initially and was only interested in a change of schedule when the DON offered it to her and began her training immediately. She has since taken it and is glad that she did.

I was made aware today, that another of these positions opened up (and I would love to be considered for it) so when my DON called me, I was sure that that was what it was for, however, he just wanted to offer me a regular staff nurse job on a different shift. Needless to say I was pretty disappointed. I was speaking to one of my co-workers and she was pushing me to just go speak with the DON and express my interest in the position, and request to apply for it, but I feel a little embarrassed.

I know that the things we want don't just fall in our laps and that if you want something you should go after it, but I really feel as though if they liked me for it, they would have made some type of mention about the job, the same as they did with my co-worker (who had made no mention of the job). I have worked my tail off at this job, giving them blood, sweat and tears and they KNOW i am a reliable employee. I also feel that they KNOW I am interested in this job for multiple reasons and the DON has even made comments like "hey sweetbabylpn, maybe when you get back we'll have something open for you in ____" without me having said anything to incite the comments. I'm even registered (on the company's dime) for the seminar that would certify me for this position but have yet to take it (and he KNOWS this, because I need the company's approval).

I guess my question is, should I call him back and express my interest in this specific job? Part of me feels like it would hurt my pride to do so. Like if they wanted me, they would have asked, so the fact that they haven't means they're not interested. But on the same note, everyone keeps saying that if I want it, I have to make that clear, not just assume they know and wait for them to offer. But isn't it fair to assume they know? Even though I didn't ask for that specific job (it wasn't available at the time), it's a general understanding among us all that I am interested in going into that particular field of nursing. I guess i'm just afraid of rejection as I associate it with embarrassment and so I try to avoid that feeling. What should I do? I should add that I was considering leaving this facility and if I don't stay in this capacity, it's likely that I will be seeking employment elsewhere.

I'm anxiously your responses. . .

Thanks in advance!

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Specializes in Trauma Surgery, Nursing Management.

Sweet-I totally get what you are saying. I have to tell you a story first. My best friend (also a co-worker) was telling me that she expected her man to get her some jewelry for Christmas. I asked her if she told him that she wanted jewelry. She said, "No, but I have been with him for 8 years now, I think he should know it by now!" I said, "Dude, if you want something, ASK FOR IT!" People are so wrapped up in themselves, the things they have to get done, the things that they must REACT to that it is rare to find someone who is PROACTIVE. That is just human nature.

So my advice to you is this: call him. Tell him that you are really interested in the job, that you have done x,y and z to prepare yourself better. Sell it, girl! You have to be your own advocate here. Be positive and confident when you speak with him. You can't assume that this is in the front of his mind. Keep at it, because persistence and assertiveness in this industry are qualities that managers value. Don't look at it as a pride thing, look at it as an opportunity to grab what you want by the horns. Go for it. YOU have to make it happen for YOU. I wish you all the best. :)

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How many employees are under your DON? I'm guessing it's nothing personal, he probably just forgot! I know if I don't write something down it's as though it never happened. OR maybe he's waiting for you to take the first step :-)

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Specializes in Geriatrics/Sub-Acute.
Sweet-I totally get what you are saying. I have to tell you a story first. My best friend (also a co-worker) was telling me that she expected her man to get her some jewelry for Christmas. I asked her if she told him that she wanted jewelry. She said, "No, but I have been with him for 8 years now, I think he should know it by now!" I said, "Dude, if you want something, ASK FOR IT!" People are so wrapped up in themselves, the things they have to get done, the things that they must REACT to that it is rare to find someone who is PROACTIVE. That is just human nature.

So my advice to you is this: call him. Tell him that you are really interested in the job, that you have done x,y and z to prepare yourself better. Sell it, girl! You have to be your own advocate here. Be positive and confident when you speak with him. You can't assume that this is in the front of his mind. Keep at it, because persistence and assertiveness in this industry are qualities that managers value. Don't look at it as a pride thing, look at it as an opportunity to grab what you want by the horns. Go for it. YOU have to make it happen for YOU. I wish you all the best. :)

Thank you! You just gave me a little burst of confidence!

How many employees are under your DON? I'm guessing it's nothing personal, he probably just forgot! I know if I don't write something down it's as though it never happened. OR maybe he's waiting for you to take the first step :-)

Not that many. Maybe like 25 or so nurses. . . that sounds like alot but we're pretty close knit and he knows me pretty well.

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I think kah5209 makes a really good point. Maybe your DON is testing you to see if you are proactive and will ask for the position. Maybe he totally has you in mind for the position but wants you to take the initiative and not wait for it to be dropped in your lap.

I say noting ventured - nothing gained. Approach him like you're interviewing for the job and sell yourself. Maybe he doesn't think you're ready yet or doesn't think you're right for it, but you'll never know until you ask.

Go for it!!

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Specializes in Certified Med/Surg tele, and other stuff.

My boss knows me really well, but I had to get in his face and tell him a lot that I wanted this one position when it opened up. You are your best spokesperson. Go for it and good luck!

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Yup, he's a BOY. You gotta just say what you want. He'll never figure it out on his own.

In fact, he'll even say in disbelief some day, "You should have told me you wanted that position. I didn't think you wanted it." And you'll say, "I did, we talked about it, a lot!!! - idiot!" and he'll say, "Did you just call me an idiot?!" And you'll say, "Are you gonna say I never called you an idiot now, too?!?!" It's just going nowhere after that :D

(Sorry boys, we girls got our problems too, and this is one :))

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Recently a friend applied for a management position and did not get it. However, when something else came up they remembered his qualifications and called him and asked him if he wanted the job. You go for it, if you don't get it put aside those negative feelings and try again. Get your name out there.

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Specializes in Geriatrics/Sub-Acute.

Well IDK if he's waiting for me to ask because the position has opened up while I am on LOA so I guess he could have assumed one of my co-workers has mentioned it to me but aside from that, there would be no way for him to know that I know it's available. (does that make sense?). And I tried to reason with myself saying "well maybe he didn't offer it because I'm gone", but I can't really even say that because I'll be returning very shortly.

sigh. . . IDK

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Specializes in Geriatrics/Sub-Acute.
Yup, he's a BOY. You gotta just say what you want. He'll never figure it out on his own.

In fact, he'll even say in disbelief some day, "You should have told me you wanted that position. I didn't think you wanted it." And you'll say, "I did, we talked about it, a lot!!! - idiot!" and he'll say, "Did you just call me an idiot?!" And you'll say, "Are you gonna say I never called you an idiot now, too?!?!" It's just going nowhere after that :D

(Sorry boys, we girls got our problems too, and this is one :))

UGH!!! TOO TRUE!!

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As nurses we advocate for everyone,.........except ourselves.

Good luck with pitch to the DON. Remind him you are already poised to take

the certification seminar. Sounds like you are ready to grow as a professional,

so let him know when you are ready to start;)

(Think Milton Berle with the giant powder puff---------makeup!)

Sometimes you just have to sock it to em!

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Specializes in Critical Care.

I honestly don't understand why you would leave YOUR professional development up to someone else on the basis that he should KNOW what you want. You need to learn to be assertive and realise no one is responsible for your career but you. Why go the passive route? Step up to the plate and advocate for yourself.

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