Want to have a baby

mamamerlee, LPN · Mar 29, 2010

As long as you have insurance, and are not pregnant at the time of the interview, then GO FOR IT. Keep in mind that you might not get pregnant on the first try, and most pregnancies are 40 weeks!

Do what YOU, and your hubby, want to do. Don't wait too long. Best wishes!

roser13, ASN, RN · Mar 29, 2010

Either have a career or have the baby. And it's unfair to your husband to expect him to carry the load of a new job fresh out of school and slap him with the responsibility of paying the bills.
And it's unfair to the baby to A.) have it and go back to work, or B.) drop it off with a sitter while you go fulfill yourself.
Maybe you'll work and do your fair share while he's still in school. That's plenty fair. But wait. And wait some more.
And go GREEN. No kids at all.

Are you serious? I suspect a troll.

allnurses Guide · Mar 29, 2010

I agree; you are NEVER ready to have a baby. My advice is that you know in your heart when you are ready for a child, and that's the best time to do it.

I would never REALLY advise anyone to do what I did, but.... the time when I wanted to have a child more than anything in this world, came while I was right in the middle of nursing school. So that is when my husband and I "went for it" if you will... and we have never regretted it.

We had a LOT of family help and support though; that's important.

KyPinkRN · Mar 29, 2010

I totally resent the statement "have the career or have the baby"!
What kind of "Leave it to Beaver" world are you living in these days?????? I suppose you expect us little women and mothers to do our housework in dresses, heels and a strand of pearls.
My children are both adults now and I had a career and was a pretty darn good mother as well!
That is one of the perks of Nursing. I worked 3 12hour shifts at night (7p-7a)-they were well cared for while I worked by their father.
Hello! There are TWO parents!!!!! No One is saying to the husband/father "have a career or a baby".
This schedule allowed me to sleep while they were in school and afforded me the luxury of 4 full days off with them. I was the room mother, president of the PTA and chaperone on many, many field trips!!!
By the way, they turned out pretty well-in spite of my "career"...
The older one is an Epidemiologist and the Liasion for Bioterrorism for the state of Washington. Oh, Yeah, she also has a career and 2 CHILDREN! They each take Karate lessons and gymnastics. Both take music lessons. In the warm weather they have swimming lessons. The little boy plays scoccer and the little girl takes dance.
They do not suffer anywhere, anytime!
(and her husband is also in the army-he is SF-Green Beret)
My younger daughter is doing fine too...considering she graduated from the University of Florida after being on a full scholarship...she has been accepted at 3 of the 4 veterinary medicine schools to which she applied this year and will be starting school in August.
My older daughter danced in high school and was a member of the precision dance team. We went to competitions all over the country (LA, Dallas, NYC, Wash, DC and Japan) and they were the National and International champions in 1997. (oh, yeah, I went along as a chaperone...)
SO, While I also agree with the other premise that there is no ideal time to "plan" a baby...neither of mine were planned but sure were welcomed and very much adored...go to school, get some experience under your belt-and no 2 years is not too soon to take a maternity break... enjoy your career and adore your children...talk to your husband and make sure you are both on the same page as far as his responsibility in parenting.
YES you can have the baby and the career!
Much luck and best wishes to you.:redpinkhe

Not taking up for the blonde, but my life would be a lot easier if I didn't have to work. My house would be cleaner, I would spend more time with both my husband and children and maybe even be less tired. Being a stay at home parent is a big decision for both a husband and wife to make together. Not many can acheive that status in these times because it is so costly for a family to survive. That being said, nursing is an excellent field to be in my hubs and I are able to arrange our schedules by working 12 hour shifts. He has a set schedule and I self-schedule my days around his... we are very fortunate to have never had to use day care in six years.

We had our second baby almost exactly a year after I started working as a nurse. I will admit that coming back from maternity leave wasn't easy but I don't think it would have been easier if we had waited another year. Keep in mind that pregnancy does things to your body and you will most likely be more tired and have some aches and pains. This and the added stress of learning a new job made both things harder to deal with. I managed though and feel like the timing was right for us. Discuss it with your hubs and make the decision together because it's not just stress and changes for you but for him as well. Good Luck with whatever you decide.

rn4ever? · Mar 29, 2010

it is only you who can decide when you should have the baby. however, there are several things to think about when making the decision-----if you get a job and you go on leave for pregnancy, you might not qualify for fmla and they might not hold your job for you if you haven’t reached your first year yet and the specified number of hours. also, how would you handle your finances? what will be your source of income? and lastly, who will take care of the baby and what will be your child-care set up? although we hope that everything will be fine and smooth-sailing, what if you have a sickly baby? who will be off from work? who will keep the insurance? who will watch over the baby? i hope you don’t get discouraged because motherhood could be a wonderful experience-----but my point is, you have to have a plan and get things covered. if i were in your shoes, i’d wait until 2014-----because if for any reason one has to quit due to pregnancy or child-care issues, the other can work. or since by then you’ll already have two years of nursing experience, maybe you won’t have to quit at all-----you can work on your convenient time (go prn/pool) and be a mom too. and also, i’m thinking, one will be in a better situation career-wise and financially. but that’s just me. there is no perfect timing to have a baby-----though the cost of milk, diapers, and college education are not cheap. but, there is always a better timing for everything. good luck!

cicatrixx15 · Mar 29, 2010

Thanks everyone for the advice. I know I'm going to have to wait until my husband graduates in order to be safe about having a baby. I just was wondering if 2 years was too soon after I start a new job. And it's not like you can get fired from the army (unless you do something really stupid), so we will be stable if I have or don't have a job, but I really want to keep working. By the way, what is a troll?

SnowShoeRN · Mar 29, 2010

Urban Dictionary's definition of a troll:

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=troll

Best of luck with your decision and your future! :)

HeartsOpenWide, RN · Mar 29, 2010

Either have a career or have the baby. And it's unfair to your husband to expect him to carry the load of a new job fresh out of school and slap him with the responsibility of paying the bills.
And it's unfair to the baby to A.) have it and go back to work, or B.) drop it off with a sitter while you go fulfill yourself.
Maybe you'll work and do your fair share while he's still in school. That's plenty fair. But wait. And wait some more.
And go GREEN. No kids at all.

Are you a troll?? You have to be because your response is preposterous! There are plenty of women that successfully have a career and children, there are plenty of women who successfully have a child and go back to work; in fact, it happens all the time.

I have a friend who stayed home with her three babies before she started to feel like she lost herself. She started having babies right after she got married but before that was a successful woman that never relied on a man for anything. She felt like her life was kids kids kids kids. She now works part time to get out of the house and feels like she is a much better parent.

I plan on starting to try shortly after a year and half of being a nurse and then going back to work part-time. Am I going to be a selfish person for doing this. Not by a long shot. The wonderful thing about today is women can do both. Wake up.

allnurses Guide · Mar 29, 2010

Oh my goodness, I know MY life would be so much easier if I didn't both work and have kids! But, being the one with the degree and being the one who makes the money around here... I don't have much choice. I think we do pretty well though. :)

As far as FMLA... I think you only have to work at one place for one year before you qualify for FMLA benefits. So if you've been working somewhere for two years, you should be OK. Also, to answer your question about two years being long enough to work somewhere before you are comfortable enough to leave and come back... I think that two years should be plenty! :)

aubreysmommy · Mar 29, 2010

Either have a career or have the baby. And it's unfair to your husband to expect him to carry the load of a new job fresh out of school and slap him with the responsibility of paying the bills.

And it's unfair to the baby to A.) have it and go back to work, or B.) drop it off with a sitter while you go fulfill yourself.

Maybe you'll work and do your fair share while he's still in school. That's plenty fair. But wait. And wait some more.

And go GREEN. No kids at all

wow, based on the ignorant response and the rediculously demeaning name, MUST be a troll!! To OP; I got pregnant with my 1st child the week that I graduated the LPN program. I worked Full time until I had my daughter and went back 6 weeks later. Working 3 12 hour shifts can be great when you have a little one. I also went back and completed the RN program when my daughter was 1 and continued to work 3 12 hour shifts as well (Fri-Sun) and my husband had to really step up and keep her on the weekends. While I did feel bad for not spening as much time with her as I would like, it has paid off. As someone else said "I enjoy putting FOOD in her mouth" food that I buy with the $$ I make working. Of course, there is NEVER agood time to have a baby, it just happens and then you learn how to adapt to whatever changes it brings (and BOY does it bring change!) I can't tell you how it works out, but it DOES work out! We are in the process of trying for our 2nd and I question that decision everyday, but I know it's what I want, and I know that we will make it work.

Good luck in whatever you decide!

MissIt · Mar 29, 2010

I graduated from nursing school ten years ago, worked for about 3 years and then had a baby. I went back part time at first, then took some time off and had two more babies. Then volunteered some and am now getting back into actual paid nursing work. My littlest is 3. My advice for you would be to be very careful about getting out of work entirely, stay in it at least part time. I don't think missing the three months of maternity leave will be any big problem. You'll be nervous when you go back and you'll be fine. But missing a few years is another matter entirely. It's hard to find a job because everyone wants experienced nurses, by which they mean recent experience. Nursing is so great, though, because there are so many different types of jobs. It's much easier to coordinate parenting and a nursing career then many other types of careers! Good luck!

cicatrixx15 · Apr 4, 2010

Anyone else have any advice for me?