Visitors who stay overnight. Vent.

RN In FL · Dec 21, 2012

I sure as heck stay with my family member. I don't trust these nurses these days. They act clueless. I don't let them know I am a nurse until I start seeing SLOPPY, which is usually at the beginning of the shift. Many don't even introduce themselves. IV's have infiltrated, dinner trays have not been brought in. IV pumps going off due to dry bags. The list goes on. THEN I HAVE TO PULL RANK!! Then they are kissing our feet, and then I am ******. And these and the kind of nurses that "don't like their jobs" and "don't want to be there". Long hot pink fingernails....was one nurse taking care of my dad... :no: . But thats what being graduated these days

Sadala, ADN, RN · Dec 21, 2012

Their presence is fine as long as it HELPS the PATIENT.

I don't even understand why they're there unless its for that reason.

The nurses actually wanted us there after my father's heart attack because he was an active smoker who obviously couldn't smoke in the hospital (he managed to damage the greater portion of his heart and this necessitated a pacemaker). He had a crazy reaction to the morphine and was also angry that nobody would bring him cigarettes (as if).

If we hadn't kept him from climbing all over the place and repeatedly trying to get out of bed (he had a cath) and wander the hospital, they were going to have to use restraints (his behavior was actually embarrassing - critically ill or not). They ASKED us to please stay and we said, don't worry, we won't leave you alone with him. It was as though he was suddenly a psych patient.

Essentially, I think we kept the staff from having to spend all of their time responding to his behavioral issues.

There should be no problem if a nurse comes in to perform his/her duties whenever. The family member shouldn't be there to sleep, but to comfort the patient and to help the situation.

xandarosa · Dec 21, 2012

My son used to be in the hospital a lot. I was told by the nurses that I make them feel bad because I make them feel like their ignoring us. :) I do all of his ADL's so a lot of the time the nurses only come in when he needs meds and then apologize for not coming in more. My thoughts are I'm used to this. You probably have patients and family members who are not and need a lot of TLC. I try to be as helpful as possible.

The only thing that annoys me about some nurses is they're so LOUD. Did you really have to yell to you coworker to get something after you open the door? :banghead: I often have to remind them he's sleeping, please talk softly.

I think I **** off the doctors thought. :laugh: I always listen in on rounds. And if you don't get the info right, I have no problem calling a doctor out in front of everyone.

Example:

Doc: He's doing better. He's on 2L. (trach collar)

Me: Sir, how is that better?

Doc: Well, he's on a vent at home.

Me: NO, he's on room air with a passy valve. :mad:

If there's an emergency, I want to know the docs know what is going on with him!

MattNurse, MSN, RN · Dec 21, 2012

I had a visitor complain that I turned off the TV he was watching while his wife was sleeping. I told his too bad, she needs her rest and sleeping with a TV on is poor sleep hygeine, I am promoting sleep/rest. He went to manager and she backed me up. I try to discourage visitors past visiting hours unless person is very sick or the family provides a service that is helpful like interpreting language or being a calming effect.

A few months ago one of my collegues allowed a mother to stay for a 22 year old with headaches. The mother was setting her alarm clock for the daughter's pain meds. That was frustrating for that nurse to be called in every two hours when patient was sleeping. I don't let families use the outlets unless the facility approves their device either, this discourages some people from camping out too as they cannot recharge their phones or computers.

Sadala, ADN, RN · Dec 21, 2012

I think families are going to become more present and involved (for the better or for the worse) as time goes on. More and more family members are going to be caring for other family members and i would guess that they will be even more present during in-patient.

tryingtohaveitall · Dec 21, 2012

I had a visitor complain that I turned off the TV he was watching while his wife was sleeping. I told his too bad, she needs her rest and sleeping with a TV on is poor sleep hygeine, I am promoting sleep/rest. He went to manager and she backed me up. I try to discourage visitors past visiting hours unless person is very sick or the family provides a service that is helpful like interpreting language or being a calming effect.
A few months ago one of my collegues allowed a mother to stay for a 22 year old with headaches. The mother was setting her alarm clock for the daughter's pain meds. That was frustrating for that nurse to be called in every two hours when patient was sleeping. I don't let families use the outlets unless the facility approves their device either, this discourages some people from camping out too as they cannot recharge their phones or computers.

I am really struggling to understand why you would deliberately make things difficult on the family. Have you been in the hospital yourself or with a sick family member?

I have been a pediatric nurse for 23 years and allowing at least one parent to stay has always been the policy. Unfortunately, I have also been the parent more times than I care to remember, and I've been the patient. Staff members are not always available to help and it is a godsend to have a loved one there.

Yes, I've seen many obnoxious families. That's just part of the job.

VICEDRN, BSN, RN · Dec 21, 2012

I am really struggling to understand why you would deliberately make things difficult on the family. Have you been in the hospital yourself or with a sick family member?
I have been a pediatric nurse for 23 years and allowing at least one parent to stay has always been the policy. Unfortunately, I have also been the parent more times than I care to remember, and I've been the patient. Staff members are not always available to help and it is a godsend to have a loved one there.
Yes, I've seen many obnoxious families. That's just part of the job.

I think you can't understand because you have a mindset that is different from those of who disagree with you. You are a pediatric nurse who has sat with family members as a nurse/partner and mother.

Maybe you work in a place that has a patient population that is more amenable to education, has better manners? And as a pediatric nurse, the patients largely benefit from their parents' presence, right?

What if you worked where I work? My patients are NOT pediatrics (when they are I get their parents right off the bat but most times they upset the child anyway!) Most people have tenuous connections to family members. There is wide spread mental illness. Lots of poverty and other stressors. Most family members are educated at high school or below. Most of the time, they stress out my patients. They awaken them, cry when they see them, behave belligerently because they do not trust most health care workers (they view as unlike them and they have a point: I'm not poor like that or mentally ill. I wasn't raised in an urban ghetto!) It takes time to calm them. Time I could be spending on my patient who was peacefully sleeping!

They are ineffective at helping themselves much less the patient and they get in the way!

MunoRN, RN · Dec 21, 2012

I'm with you on obnoxious family members, patients who don't think there's any reason to be assessed at night and all that, but at the same time we do throw on too many lights too often at night, this can be a major contributor to do delirium, so it's in your best interests to try and minimize that as well, personally I prefer a headlamp.

Fiona59 · Dec 22, 2012

Seeing as you lot have called me callous and uncaring and don't even know me, I think I'm entitled to this rant:

I feel so sorry for those of you who feel you have "to protect" your family member in hospitals from the staff. Ever considered going to the unit manager to discuss your concerns?

I work for a very old school manager. Arriving to work with hot pink nailpolish gets you a bottle of nailpolish remover handed to you. She's been know to hand out the nail clippers as well.

Teachers and college professors are complaining of helicopter parents. We see that in hospital all the time. Does a 28yo really need to have both biological parents and the in-laws hover around the bed for a simple day surgery appi? My unit gets the odd peds patient, one parent (usually Mum) stays over. We do our rounds and Mum is fast asleep, we've toileted/changed her child and she's complained in the morning that we weren't in all night. This has happend four out of the last five times. Either we are too stealthy or she's plain knackered and needed a good night's sleep.

How is having 14 relatives and friend sit in a room and watch some die healthy? Our hospital's policy is two visitors at the bedside. The person I remember with the 14 visitors at her deathbed actually told a nurse to get them out and she found it ghoulish.

We are damned if we do and damed if we don't.

I'm sorry I don't work in you perfect world but honestly some of you sound like discontented family members lurking on a nursing forum to demonstrate how you think nurses should be.

MattNurse, MSN, RN · Dec 22, 2012

I am really struggling to understand why you would deliberately make things difficult on the family. Have you been in the hospital yourself or with a sick family member?
I have been a pediatric nurse for 23 years and allowing at least one parent to stay has always been the policy. Unfortunately, I have also been the parent more times than I care to remember, and I've been the patient. Staff members are not always available to help and it is a godsend to have a loved one there.
Yes, I've seen many obnoxious families. That's just part of the job.

I have been in the hospital and I have been with sick family members. First of all, I don't camp out in their room for days at a time. When you get sick; do you call everyone to your bedside at home? I know I don't. I need rest and having a campout in a small room does not promote rest.

I don't work in pediatrics. I would see why you would let a pediatrics patient's family stay. I am talking about my patient's that need rest, live at home independently, and will function better when the family goes home at a reasonable hour. If a family member is sitting in a patient's room getting up and down to the bathroom, watching TV, listening to the radio it interferes with someones ability to get well.

I encourage families of very sick hospice patient's to stay, but I do not work in an ICU setting where I have many patient's in poor condition that family at bedside is necessary. I do med surg nursing now so if a person is going south I send them off my unit.

MattNurse, MSN, RN · Dec 22, 2012

Does a 28yo really need to have both biological parents and the in-laws hover around the bed for a simple day surgery appi.

I had a post op appi patient years ago with testicular pain in his early 20's who was too embarrassed to tell me until his mother, father, and siblings left the room. People need space to have privacy in the hospital, especially if you want to be open and honest about things you find embarrassing discussion topics.

JDZ344 · Dec 22, 2012

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