Two-minus-one pregnancy

Published

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/08/14/magazine/the-two-minus-one-pregnancy.html?pagewanted=1&smid=fb-nytimes

As Jenny lay on the obstetrician's examination table, she was grateful that the ultrasound tech had turned off the overhead screen. She didn't want to see the two shadows floating inside her. Since making her decision, she had tried hard not to think about them, though she could often think of little else. She was 45 and pregnant after six years of fertility bills, ovulation injections, donor eggs and disappointment-and yet here she was, 14 weeks into her pregnancy, choosing to extinguish one of two healthy fetuses, almost as if having half an abortion. As the doctor inserted the needle into Jenny's abdomen, aiming at one of the fetuses, Jenny tried not to flinch, caught between intense relief and intense guilt.

Unintended consequences of reproductive technology?

Specializes in PCCN.
Why is it that whenever adoption comes up in conversation, people automatically start talking about what countries are open for adoption? I don't think there is ANYTHING wrong with adopting from a different country (my cousin was adopted from Laos), but is there a reason so many people look outside the U.S. to adopt? Is it more difficult to adopt here, or is there something else?

Yes it is very difficult to adopt in the US. Thats why you see so many ads for private adoption, etc. And I believe many of them do not get answered. There are always special needs kids, or older kids, but that is something that you have to be realistic and prepared for. Odds of adopting a baby are quite low.And expensive.

its only in the last 6 or so years that the state of PA has reduced the amount of time the birth mom can change her mind from 6 months to either 30 or 60 days (can't remember now)...

as my best friend said when he and his wife adoped their daughter from China "at least I don't have to worry about someone knocking at my door at 5 months and 29 days"...

its only in the last 6 or so years that the state of PA has reduced the amount of time the birth mom can change her mind from 6 months to either 30 or 60 days (can't remember now)...

as my best friend said when he and his wife adoped their daughter from China "at least I don't have to worry about someone knocking at my door at 5 months and 29 days"...

Hmmm...I wonder under what circumstance you can do 30 or 60 days? I'm in PA, and my friends who just finalized their adoption this month had to wait a full 6 months...actually longer. The baby was placed with them in December, and they finalized this week. I couldn't imagine that wait, but then again, I'm not sure I could handle even a 30 day period where the mother could return. By 30 days in I would have already died for any of my kids. In fact, I think I would have died for them immediately upon meeting them...and that's saying something as not all of my kdis were happy to see me ;-) Once I knew they were mine...they were M-I-N-E!

I wish more people thought of adoption as a very viable way to build a family. I have a brother adopted from Korea (in the 1970's), a nephew adopted from Russia and 3 kids adopted from China and Russia. To us, it's just normal - but I understand that it's not that way to all. My bio daughter actually complains the most that she is "only" from America and no where exotic, lol! To each their own - but getting back to the topic originally posted by the OP (imagine that!), I would have loved to have seen this woman give that second baby up for adoption rather than terminating. Although I can safely say that I wish that for every baby that has been terminated....

Thank you so much for the info! I have always wondered about this topic. I have never been in that situation, and I don't know anyone that has been either. I think it is wonderful to adopt children period, regardless of where and when. I just never knew it was such a pain in the ass to adopt in the States.

Hmmm...I wonder under what circumstance you can do 30 or 60 days? I'm in PA, and my friends who just finalized their adoption this month had to wait a full 6 months...actually longer. The baby was placed with them in December, and they finalized this week. I couldn't imagine that wait, but then again, I'm not sure I could handle even a 30 day period where the mother could return. By 30 days in I would have already died for any of my kids. In fact, I think I would have died for them immediately upon meeting them...and that's saying something as not all of my kdis were happy to see me ;-) Once I knew they were mine...they were M-I-N-E!

I wish more people thought of adoption as a very viable way to build a family. I have a brother adopted from Korea (in the 1970's), a nephew adopted from Russia and 3 kids adopted from China and Russia. To us, it's just normal - but I understand that it's not that way to all. My bio daughter actually complains the most that she is "only" from America and no where exotic, lol! To each their own - but getting back to the topic originally posted by the OP (imagine that!), I would have loved to have seen this woman give that second baby up for adoption rather than terminating. Although I can safely say that I wish that for every baby that has been terminated....

I think (and I could be wrong maybe the legislation never really got through) that the finalization takes longer but that the birth parents could only contest within the first 60 days...

must...go...looking - will be back!

the 6 months is if the birth parents take no action upon the petiton for adoption filed, if the birth parents take action then it is 30 days - kind of like (for lack of a better comparison) no-fault divorce is done in 90 days but if divorce is filed and the opposing party never signs then it takes 2 years...

Specializes in Informatics.
They don't "implant" them, they transfer them. It's common for the transfer to not result in implantation, which is why they often try to increase their odds by transferring more than one.

Pardon my mistype! That's what I get for replying late at night. Around here most of the reproductive endocrinologists have gone to single embryo transfer for women who have a good prognosis, which the EBP supports. It seems unethical to be transferring multiple embryos into a patient who so strongly desires a singleton pregnancy. Of course, there is the chance of the embryo splitting, but I would be interested to know how many embryos the REs are transferring in these women, because it sounds like multiple embryos every time.

Specializes in PCCN.

based on my bb conversations- it depends on the age of the embryos. If they were able to actually harvest their own eggs, i heard some instances of transferring 5 or 6- but that is because over 40 embryos have such a low chance of even making it. The worst i had heard with own eggs was triplets. one gal did 6 and got twins.most usually got only one to stick.and some still had none of them stick. MNow if they are doing donor eggs, who's eggs are probabley of someone under 30 y/o, the odds are much higher- docs usually will not transfer more than 2.hth

I get what you were getting at here, and certainly others have had that feeling...Including the Countries of India and China - and I have to tell you from experience that it hasn't worked out so well in those countries. There are now generations of Men who cannot find a female to marry. It has led to millions of baby girls being killed...aborted or killed at birth.

It is not about government mandated abortions. It is about social responsibility and choosing not to reproduce. (e.g. using birth control) Simply, I understand that this planet has limited resources. I choose to reproduce at a rate of 2:2 or less to do my part in stopping overpopulation. I think that Adoption is a fantastic/ amazing/ splendiferous(is that a word?) way to acomplish the same goal but still have a big family if desired. Others feel differently and that is their business. But the idea is not tantamount to government mandated abortions.

This makes me feel weird too and I consider myself pro-choice. I had IVF done and knew the risk of having twins ( i implanted 2 embryos). and i accepted taht "risk" and I am so glad i did, because 36 weeks later I had the most wonderful set og b/g twins. I think i would understand if the twins were a naturally occuring pregnancy more but when u go thru fertilitly stuff u are counselled thouroughly on having multiples.

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