I must admit I am disappointed by the majority of students that I find myself surrounded by in the nursing program. When I took my prereqs, I had at least one person to rely on in each class, and they were genuinely nice & helpful people!... Now that I am in the program, I have found that it is even MORE competitive than the prereqs, HOW IRONIC. Everyone seems so willing to throw everyone else under the bus. You can't imagine all the eye rolls I have seen because someone asked another question (Okay, sometimes it can be annoying, but most of the time its no big deal and yet the other students still get annoyed...)
Most of the students are "older" (I'm only 20...) so I was under the impression that this would be a good thing... Thinking that perhaps, the older students being that they were... you know... moms and such, and of a certain (I would imagine) maturity level, maybe I would really like them!
I am so turned off by how everyone else treats eachother, and even more bothered by the fact that most of these people are old enough to be my mother and still act so immaturely. I cant tell you how many times I have heard "Ugh, SHE sat in my seat today! What a B*$#ch, what was she thinking? :argue:"... Or "Some people just dont know when to shut up!:devil:"... Just stupid things that I havent seen since highschool. They are all out to save themselves and dont care if they are rude to anyone else... And I definately never thought i would see this in nursing school! Its not just the older students too, I have seen many of the younger ones be very rude to eachother...(And even to myself, for no reason)
Let me add that although I am a really shy person, I am definately agreeable, friendly (Once i know you..) and willing to help others. I wouldnt roll eyes because someone asked a question, or make someone else feel stupid. I get along with people... At the start of the semester I felt really bad that I didnt have any close nursing buddies. But as the semester rolls on, I am seeing more and more of why its quite possibly a good thing that none of these people are my friends-- They all have attitudes! They are occasionally willing to help but at the expense of making you feel like an idiot.
These ladies are going to be nurses one day... And they cant even treat eachother with respect and dignity. Thats the part that bewilders me.
(As a disclaimer I should add that I do not believe every student in my program is like this, I guess I just havent met any of the nice ones yet... Also, I am not knocking older students by any means... :redbeathe)
yeah, I have to deal with this everyday..all girls do is talk behind each other backs, are catty, and immature..Its sad cause most of these ppl are in their late 20's and 30's. I choose to isolate myself from most people and hang around the few guys in the program and of course that brings even more gossip about me but I don't really care.
I am 31 and in my 3rd semester of an ASN program. I have found just the opposite. Most of the little 20 something girls think they're entitled. Or their parents are paying for their college, and they could care less about being there. They are a big distraction to me. Not all of them, just some of them. I am seriously trying to not stereotype this age group. But last week, this one came into the room and said "uh like omg, she got my seat", I said Oh, we have seats in here? Very irritating. Just like something out of a Lindsay Lohan movie. I just try to keep to myself, with the exception of one or two others, and am doing just fine. Third semester is known for weeding out people, so probably most of them won't even be here after the drop date. Saves you from having to let go of the rope if one of them is bringing you down. You can always look at it that way. You probably won't see many of them after college anyway.
Like Daytonite said, wait until you start working. You haven't seen anything yet. Just pretend you have placed yourself into a big bubble that can't be broken open and sit where you can best operate in class. Tune these others out. You have plenty of other situations now and in the future to develop an ulcer about. Don't be concerned with their behavior.
I completely understand how you all are feeling. I am in my last semester of nursing school and will be graduating in December. I have to say that nursing school has been a very negative experience for me when it comes to classmates. At the beginning, you go to orientation and you hear everyone tell you that you will develop these wonderful, close, and supportive relationships with these people and that you will make friends for life, but that is not true. Girls (Women) are extremely caddy and hateful and I have also seen the eye rolls. Just saw one yesterday. I feel like I am back in junior high.
I think there is a lot of jealousy and that is the reason for the caddiness. I have gotten the cold shoulder this semester because I am being precepted at the hospital I work at on the unit that I work. This has caused the cold war between a lot of students and me. I have actually been interrogated about it by other students. My answer to them is "Well if you have dedicated 9 years of your life to your employer, there are perks for that and your work will go above and beyond to support you in nursing school and want you to work in their unit when you are finished and that they want nursing students in their unit who they have already developed a trusting relationship." So yes, it is a perk and my unit is showing favoritism by offering me a preceptor, but I have earned it.
For the most part, I could care less about the people there. Yes, sometimes it has bothered me and sometimes my feelings are hurt, but these people you are in nursing school with really should not impact your life, they are insignificant and pretty much don't hold any value. When it is all over, you wont have to speak to them anymore!!
Jealousy plays a big part especially when it comes to grades. I experienced that with the passing of the Hesi exit. I have a right to be excited that I passed. I am proud of myself. I have worked hard and I think there is nothing wrong with being happy about it, but when other people ask you how you did and then you tell them you passed, you can tell they are not happy for you. I feel like I am doing something wrong if I act happy about it. It is ridiculous. I am happy and I am going to celebrate and be proud of myself.
I am so glad this will all be over. Dont let these people bother you. They are acting like juveniles because they are jealous. Don't let them see that it bothers you. Smile and be happy about your complishments even when they fail!
I totally agree with you and couldn't have said it better myself.
I am 25 and also expected people to be more mature. I constantly see the same attitude... and also when they hear they did better than another classmate and they make that classmate feel like crap by being like "Oh... I got a 93... I was soooo disappointed... but I know I shouldn't complain" after said other student reported she was unhappy with her 82. I just found it rude. I haven't seen this behavior since high school either.
Not only that but people old enough to be my parent talking behind other students backs saying "I don't know how SHE got in... she is just out of high school and I have this, this, this and this qualification and it took me three years on the wait list" .... I understand her frustration.. but why take it out on another student. I don't know!! But I can totally see where you are coming from!!! It's a shame people have to be like that and not work as a team. You'd think going into a helping and caring profession that people would be a little bit more helpful and nice to one another and not snobby and having an "I'm better than you attitude" ... it really is a shame
I must be fortunate. My program has been so tough that we've all banded together. I haven't seen much or any of what's been described in this thread. Not even in the class that was ahead of mine or the ones behind mine (graduating in a couple of months)....when one of us is missing we're truly concerned and calling to see what happened. However, I think this behavior spans all professions. It's the way people are. It's the current (and has been the past) trend of society. Friendliness, benevolence, honesty, and integrity truly stand out. If you have these qualities, don't think people don't notice. They do. They may never tell you, but they do. Hopefully they will be shamed. I work in an ER with some nurses like your classmates. They range in age from early 20s to 60. It can be pretty raunchy and juvenile. It's actually like this every day. I don't take part. Management's always telling us to close patient's doors. Sometimes I wonder if it's not so much that they don't overhear the perversion and foulness. Sometimes I'm embarrassed for our hospital. Just remember to watch yourself and what you say. Patients are listening!! The curtain may be pulled or the door cracked, but they still have ears!
What a bummer!! I encountered this VERY SAME THING last week. It really, really ruined a few days for me, because I have no drama in my life and I like it that way. So when something sneaks in, I want it gone and try to squash it right away. Well, when I went up (very nicely I might add) and tried to find out what was going on, I was TOTALLY ganged up on by women in their 40's... and it turned out they were mad at me for something that had NEVER even happened. It was so wrong, they were sooo out of line. It made me sad because I make a concious effort not to **** people off, and here they hated me for something they have made up out of the blue. I am going to be in the program with these women, so I really wanted to get to the bottom of it, but they weren't having it. Girls are hard to get along with anyway, but this was the first time I've ever had a group of females as old as my MOM hate me for no reason. I was so upset that I had to leave class early... you know when you feel yourself start to crack and there's no stopping it? It wasn't just me, either, because the next class day, 2 people that I don't know came up and apologized for what had happened and asked if I was alright... the other ladies were just downright mean... I shook it off though, I mean, what more can you do with people like that? I tried... and then moved swiftly on to Plan B which was: Forget you crazy people then! I hope there are a nice group of people I can form a study group with come January.... :nuke:
That's part of the reason why I am studying by correspondence. We have a discussion board but we don't really know each other to well enough to talk about each other and back stab. On the one hand studying by correspondence is good on the other we don't get as much support as internal students do.
I too am stunned by this type of behavior. I'm in my last semester and I'm still stunned when I encounter it. I'm not like that at all. I'm always very supportive of my fellow classmates because this program is hard! When I don't do well on an exam and ask someone how they did and I find out they did well, I'm happy for them. Why?? Because it was hard and I'm gald they made it even if I didn't.
When that one person in class never shuts up, I don't roll my eyes. I find that to be so rude. Everyone deserves basic human respect (and this is basic). I wonder if parents failed their children as they were growing up, or do we reach an age where we feel we can put others down. What makes so many think that they are better or smarter than someone else. I can learn from everyone, including a child. I hope we don't reach an age where we feel we can be like this because I'm just about 40........
Hang in there, believe me there are many students who are decent. Just be the wonderful person you are and others will eventually respond in kind. If not, well, they can just p*** off!
I start school in December, and I was asked during my interview how I would handle this kind of situation by director of nursing...I told her that I do not have a problem confronting trouble makers....I will be 46 years old when I start school and I will not be there to listen to a bunch of whinny adults.....Maybe you should say something when the people in your class are being rude or disrespectful to a fellow classmate.......I know that I will........
WOW i know EXACTLY how you feel!!!!!! I am one of the youngest people in my nursing program ( i am 22 and one girl is below me at 19) and it is so sad to say they we are honestly one of if not the maturest people in our whole class, and i can definately agree with you on the fact that these women are mothers ( i dont have any children yet but could never imagine in my wildest dream to act the way they do) and they act the way they do in class. Im done in DEC. ( thank god!) but i can tell you that it has been one hell of a year!! Ive seen so many fights and arguments that are so ridiculous that i feel like i am right back into high school once again. I do not like anhy drama in my life and i stay far away from the drama at school but i know personally sometimes that is very hard to do.
My advice for you is to try ( i know at times its hard) to stay positive! I dont know how long you have already been in your program but i know it took me a little while to open up to people and now there are about 5 or 6 of us that really banded together and help each other out alot. I have also met a girl in my class has become a good friend to me and someone i know i can trust. Stay true to yourself always!!! Even though it is hard do not let the people around you affect your ways, remember you are there for YOU and only YOU. Dont let others ruin this experience for you, i know it is hard to believe that some of this people( trust me some of them will get weeding out along the way) are our future nurses of america. Defiantely dont be like the others and help classmates and offer advice and try to get involved in good activities, i know you are shy now but this will all pass, you will start to see what others are really about in your class and you will know if they are serious about becoming a nurse or not. I hope this has helped you in some way! good luck!!!!:nuke:
See, I hated that. I think us nursing students and later nurse need to stick together. I know that if it wasn't for my support nursing students I would have never made it through. Hang in there!
I was the youngest in the whole progam and my first term was at first hellish. Then I met my study buddy and she stayed with me throughout the entire program. It just takes time. I think they will realize it too, the nursing program takes a group effort.
It wasn't just me, either, because the next class day, 2 people that I don't know came up and apologized for what had happened and asked if I was alright... the other ladies were just downright mean... I shook it off though, I mean, what more can you do with people like that? I tried... and then moved swiftly on to Plan B which was: Forget you crazy people then! I hope there are a nice group of people I can form a study group with come January.... :nuke:.thumb.jpg.421493329dd1f136a4222fe8e9399213.jpg){kind=small}
moncj66
285 Posts
yeah, I have to deal with this everyday..all girls do is talk behind each other backs, are catty, and immature..Its sad cause most of these ppl are in their late 20's and 30's. I choose to isolate myself from most people and hang around the few guys in the program and of course that brings even more gossip about me but I don't really care.